Talk:Arduin of Ivrea

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Unclear paragraph[edit]

The prose in this article is a bit labored, but the worst of it is in the second paragraph. There, in addition to being elaborate, the text suffers from a proliferation of unidentified pronouns. Paragraph follows with comments in square brackets:

He [Arduin] proclaimed himself King of Italy after the death of Otto III in 1002. At first he [Arduin] was "elected by the Lombards in Pavia and was called 'caesar' by all", according to the chronicler Arnulf of Milan. He [Arduin] made the rounds of the kingdom with the Archbishop of Milan publicly at his side, while Henry II was acclaimed King of the Germans. The territorial magnates professed to favour him [Arduin?] but secretly were in favour of Henry, according to Arnulf. His [who?] enemies in the church, led by Frederick, Archbishop of Ravenna, sided with the new emperor.[who?] Henry sent his duke, Otto of Carinthia, whom he made count of Verona, to face Arduin, who [who?] was successful in the pitched battle of Fabrica.

The result is we cannot tell who did what, who sided with whom, and who won at Fabrica. Can someone please rewrite this for clarity? (talk) 21:30, 6 August 2010 (UTC)