|WikiProject Fishes||(Rated Stub-class, Low-importance)|
In the reproduction section, the first few sentences refer to the size disparity between males and females. I moved this information to the description section. I also made grammatical, wording, and formatting edits to this section. In the shoaling behavior section, I made writing edits and moved the sentence referencing group size and the dilution effect to the beginning of the predator protection section. I edited citations so that referencing the same article does not make a separate citation. I edited the article to make sure that everything is present tense. I made edits to the description section to remove redundant information and to improve flow and formatting. I added citations for foraging and predation protection in the shoaling behavior section. I also added a citation for the dilution effect in the predator protection section. I added additional wikilinks. I removed random bolding. I added links back to my page from the fish of Montana and lake superior pages. I also uncapitalized the words banded killifish unless it was at the beginning of a sentence.
I moved the diet and reproduction and life cycle sections before the behavior section. I fixed the headings by making all words but the first word lower case. I changed the wikilink for conspecifics to make it the first instance of the term. To consolidate small sections, I combined the refuge seeking section with the predator protection section. I combined the shoaling behavior and shoaling trade-offs sections. In the predator protection section, I made mention of shoals consistent, removing mention of schooling. I added more wikilinks and removed random bolded terms. I also made grammatical changes. I added a photo to the description section. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Batoburen (talk • contribs) 15:29, 13 November 2013 (UTC)
- Suggestions for edits to get to good article
- Add a map or image of the range (more pictures is always good as long as they're not repetitive)
- add the IUCN conservation status to the taxobox
- decapitalize banded killifish in all instances (fish common names are not capitalized, unlike bird common names)
- More links to terms can be added, ex: to species, conspecifics, etc
- Great job! Wenamy (talk) 07:41, 21 November 2013 (UTC)
1. Are there other behavior besides shoaling? -Specifically, I couldn't figure out whether refuge seeking was part of shoaling. From what I read, it appeared to be a behavior unrelated to shoaling. In that case, it can be under a separate subsection in behavior outside of Shoaling behavior section. If it is part of shoaling, I think it can be merged with the Predator-prey section. But first, it would be nice to make it clear whether the behavior is part of shoaling.
2. Citations -There are some claims that need to be validated by citations. For example, the paragraph right under Shoaling behavior and the first paragraph under Shoaling trade-offs.-done
3. Additional information on reproduction and life cycle -Is there a reason for male color change?
4. Other minor edits -I shortened some of the headings because they were too wordy. Also, some of the references on reflist show error message and the formatting needs to be fixed so the error messages go away. Jyn0309 (talk) 20:20, 9 October 2013 (UTC)
- Make your language more concise and technical.
- Reduce the repetition of claims. Way too many claims are repeated in various sections
- Combine similar sections. Many would do very well to be integrated; furthermore, the article would look less hectic with the absence of small, unnecessary sections
- In all headings, only the very first word is capitalized; anything after is lower case. This is a wikipedia standard.-done
- Add more hyperlinks. This article is devoid of them.
- Hyperlinks are a good and necessary way to make your article more understandable without cluttering it with unnecessary explanation. Too many hyperlinks are better than too few.
- Any hyperlinked term should be hyperlinked at its first appearance. Specific example: "conspecific" first appears in "Refuge seeking," but is only hyperlinked later on in "Shoal preference"-done
- Use present tense!-done
- Remove any original claims or indirectly substantiated inferences.
- Change the structure of your article to reflect the general trend seen in other GAs. See: mola mola and frilled shark for examples.
- Seems somewhat unnecessary as its own section. Perhaps include very relevant snippets into the summary paragraph, unless you want to write an entire taxonomy section.
- I'm confused about the random bolding in this section-done
- This section needs heavy editing and consolidation. As it stands now, there is little internal organization, and sentence structure is stunted and repetitive.
- Sentence four needs major grammatical and punctuation revision. Taxonomies should be in parentheses, and at least one is not italicized; furthermore, "Trout" does not include its taxonomy. If it is not included because of the broadness of the term, specify that (something like: and various species of trout).
- Everything in paragraphs 2 and 3 (other than the first sentence) is repetitive and/or unnecessary. Remove, consolidate, etc.
- Remove all bolding.-done
- Shoaling behavior
- Citation needed
- Remember, original research is taboo, so any inferences made cannot be your own
- See "Shoaling trade-offs" below
- Predator protection
- "From the mind of a banded killifish" seems to be an extremely dubious statement. I would excise this.-done
- Refuge seeking
- This seems like it would would be fine combined with the "Predator protection" section-done
- Shoaling trade-offs
- Consider using a better title-section has been combined with shoaling behavior section (done)
- This section would be best if it were first under shoaling behavior.-done
- You can easily delete the third and fourth sentence of "Shoaling behavior" and replace it with this.-done
- Is the last sentence an original claim? If so, remove it. If not, citation needed.
- Shoaling preference
- Good section. Increase the concision of your language and consolidate sentences.
- This can probably be moved up.-done
- If possible, the expansion of this section can help with your next 1000 words
- The first three sentences are entirely unnecessary-done
- Break this section into paragraphs-done
- This section can likely benefit from expansion, specifically in terms of the breeding system.
I thought the author did a very good job of putting together a well written and very thorough article. I do however have a few small suggestions that may help to make it even better. My first recommendation is to add a section on the taxonomy. This is a section often included in articles given the “Good article” status. Also, in the “Predator Protection” section, the author switches back forth between using the word “shoal” and the word “school”. I would recommend that he sticks with one. In addition, in the “Diet Habits” section, I suggest that the author talk about some specific types of locations or areas in which the fish typically finds its food. Finally, I think it would make sense for the sentence under “Refuge Seeking” to be at the end of the “Behavior” section because it comes in the middle of other sections talking exclusively about shoaling and seems somewhat out of place. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Gopara (talk • contribs) 04:55, 10 October 2013 (UTC)
Shoaling and schooling
Much of the material in the section on on shoaling behaviour is already comprehensively covered in Shoaling and schooling. The section should be condensed and rewritten to take account of the preexisting material on Wikipedia. --Epipelagic (talk) 04:54, 13 November 2013 (UTC)