Talk:Bellefonte Forge House
|WikiProject Pennsylvania||(Rated Start-class, Low-importance)|
|WikiProject National Register of Historic Places||(Rated Start-class, Low-importance)|
Article minor edits
The original editor asked for comments, but I think the article is already fairly good. Just to "earn my keep" I'll point out a few things:
- Word "accidentally" is redundant in phrase "accidently killed in an iron-ore mine collapse"
- "Iron-ore mine". There are three or four ways to phrase this, but "iron mine" is simplest — often simplest is best. There's a certain "mental tax" for every word a person reads, and many Wiki readers will not have English as their first language.
- Word "more" is redundant or obvious in phrase "two were removed to make a modern kitchen"
- If you don't think John G. Lowry will get his own Wiki page anytime soon, it might be better to leave it out, so that it doesn't appear as a red link. Somewhat a matter of taste and opinion.
- "It was his father, Lt. Col. James Dunlop, and his brother-in-law, James Harris, who actually laid out the town" ---> "His father, Lt. Col. James Dunlop, and brother-in-law, James Harris, laid out the town"
- I'm unsure what this sentence means: "This home represents the wealth of those ironmasters as the Valentines added the Victorian porches in the 1860s."
- "first started" ---> "started".
The place where I have a little "Wiki discomfort" is with the phrase "John Dunlop was one of the most energetic and prosperous of those that went into that business...". This statement is apparently subjective. I.e., what does "most energetic" mean in any literal sense, if you see what I mean? He travelled a lot? He worked long hours? He kept up-to-date with technology?
If you can manage to do several edits before hitting the "Save Page" button, it will make the Page History easier for folks to use.
Overall, this article is entirely readable just the way it is. Nice work!