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The parts mentioning "the Souix who hated him" seem awkward and even redundant. Can they be reworded somehow while preserving the information? --Several Times 20:00, 1 August 2005 (UTC)
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Bloody Knife/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- No disamb links
- All external links check ok
- The ISBN for Donovan, James (2008). A Terrible Glory: Custer and The Little Bighorn needs checking
- More in line citations are required - the first sentence has two then the rest of the paragraph only has one at the end. There are several statements in the paragraph that should be cited.
- The same with the second paragraph, there are four citations two thirds of the way in and its not clear what cite is for what fact. I can add cn tags if that would help
- First paragraph of the First years as a scout section could use more in line citations
- It needs a good copy edit can I suggest you post a request here Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Bloody Knife/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
- I've paused the review because of the close paraphrasing problem in a lot of this material. This can be fixed, but it'll need a bit of work. Let me know how you'd like to proceed, Hchc2009 (talk) 19:23, 30 January 2012 (UTC)
(a) the prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct;
- There are some close-paraphrasing issues emerging:
- " Since he was of mixed blood and the Sioux were traditional enemies of the Arikara, he was often discriminated against and treated poorly by the other Sioux. Consequently, he grew a hatred for the Sioux tribe and a feud was started with a fellow Sioux named Gall." - the original is "He lived with the Sioux, who were traditional enemies of the Arikara, and was discriminated and against and treated as as an outcast due to his mixed blood. This resulted in a deep hatred for that tribe, and in particular one of his peers, Gall, with whom he developed a feud that endured for years."
- " When he was about fifteen, he and his mother left his father and the Sioux to return to the Arikara at an American Fur Company trading post called Fort Clark, which was located close to modern day Stanton, North Dakota, on the Upper Mississippi River." - original is "When Bloody Knife was about fifteen years old, his mother left her husband and returned to her people at Fort Clark, an American Fur Company trading post on the Upper Missouri near present day Stanton, North Dakota."
- Looking through, there are similar problems with most of the material cited from Thom Hatch and for Vandt de Logt; I haven't worked through the others, but there's quite a lot here to fix here already. I'll pause now to give a chance for folks to fix them. Hchc2009 (talk) 19:23, 30 January 2012 (UTC)
(b) it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Factually accurate and verifiable:
(a) it provides references to all sources of information in the section(s) dedicated to the attribution of these sources according to the guide to layout;
(b) it provides in-line citations from reliable sources for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines;
(c) it contains no original research.
Broad in its coverage:
(a) it addresses the main aspects of the topic;
(b) it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without bias.
Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
Illustrated, if possible, by images:
(a) images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content;
(b) images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
- The captions don't need full-stops under the MOS, but this isn't a strict GA requirement. Hchc2009 (talk) 19:09, 30 January 2012 (UTC)
Ongoing copyvio problems...
I'm reverting the copyvio/close paraphrasing tag, as we still have a problem here. The two examples I flagged up in the GAR, for example, are still there (listed below):
- Original: "He lived with the Sioux, who were traditional enemies of the Arikara, and was discriminated and against and treated as as an outcast due to his mixed blood. This resulted in a deep hatred for that tribe, and in particular one of his peers, Gall, with whom he developed a feud that endured for years."
- Article version: " Since he was of mixed blood, and the Sioux were traditional enemies of the Arikara, he was often discriminated against and treated poorly by the other Sioux. Consequently, he developed a hatred for the Sioux tribe and a feud evolved between him and a Sioux named Gall. "
- Original: "When Bloody Knife was about fifteen years old, his mother left her husband and returned to her people at Fort Clark, an American Fur Company trading post on the Upper Missouri near present day Stanton, North Dakota."
- Article version: "When he was about fifteen, Bloody Knife and his mother left his father and the Sioux to return to the Arikara at an American Fur Company trading post called Fort Clark, which was located close to modern day Stanton, North Dakota on the Upper Mississippi River."
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