Talk:Children's Institute of Pittsburgh

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To-Do List[edit]

--Mschug (talk) 20:05, 8 November 2010 (UTC) will expand and edit information concerning the Hospital and its specialty programs. I will add information about inpatient, outpatient, and educational services and about the facilities and therapies available to patients.[reply]

--Skg30 (talk) 03:05, 9 November 2010 (UTC )will expand and edit the Squirrel Hill Children's Institute new therapeutic garden. The topics: of the purpose of the garden, the contributing family behind the garden, how locals can donate to the garden will be added.

--Cmm179 (talk) 04:27, 10 November 2010 (UTC) will expand and edit the Project Star feature of the Squirrel Hill Children's Institute. This includes the institute's approach, the purpose of project star, any general information, and the holiday gift drive.[reply]

--Cwl18 (talk) Cwl18 (talk) 04:44, 10 November 2010 (UTC) will provide information about the Institute's Day Care Center. I will describe the center's background, curriculum, and impact on the students.[reply]

To Skg30: There was an extra space at the beginning of the Therapeutic Garden first paragraph that may have produced the dotted box. When I deleted it, the box was gone. Perhaps imbedded code from MS Word? Llh19 (talk) 17:26, 15 November 2010 (UTC)Llh19[reply]

Skg30 (talk) 19:25, 16 November 2010 (UTC) ok, thank you. That's weird, I don't remember typing anything in word and copying and pasting in. I'll keep an eye out for it incase it happens again.[reply]

Review[edit]

  • The lead of this article may be too long, or may contain too many paragraphs. Please follow guidelines at WP:LEAD; be aware that the lead should adequately summarize the article. In particular, please note that the lead should not introduce new information, but summarize them (as things stand, the lead seems to be the only place of the article discussing the organization's history).
  • Consider adding more links to the article; per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (links) and Wikipedia:Build the web, create links to relevant articles.
  • This article has no images. Please see if there are any free use images that fall under the Wikipedia:Image use policy and fit under one of the Wikipedia:Image copyright tags that can be uploaded. To upload images on Wikipedia, go to Special:Upload; to upload non-fair use images on the Wikimedia Commons, go to commons:special:upload.
  • Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), headings generally do not start with articles ('the', 'a(n)'). For example, if there was a section called ==The Biography==, it should be changed to ==Biography==.
  • Please reorder/rename the last few sections to follow guidelines at Wikipedia:Guide to layout.
  • Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
    • While additive terms like “also”, “in addition”, “additionally”, “moreover”, and “furthermore” may sometimes be useful, overusing them when they aren't necessary can instead detract from the brilliancy of the article. This article has 10 additive terms, a bit too much.
    • Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “All pigs are pink, so we thought of a number of ways to turn them green.”
  • Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.
  • There are many paragraphs missing references. Those should be verified and references, per WP:V.
  • All external links should be moved to the external link sections, per WP:EL. Where used in the article body, they should be replaced by internal links and/or inline references (see WP:CITE).
  • Many references in this article are bare URLs. Those are unhelpful and subject to link rot. Please transform them into proper, informative citations, per WP:CITE.
  • Good job creating this article, please don't forget to nominate your work at T:TDYK for a chance of front page exposure. Your work could be read by thousands!

--Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus| talk 19:09, 18 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the feedback. This helps a lot. --Mschug (talk) 20:19, 18 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Very nice job on the first round, guys! I think the article is shaping right up. Here's a good hospital article for reference, Ohio State University Medical Center. Also, consider whether checking hospital rankings would benefit the article, such as its listing here. Great start! Llh19 (talk) 03:48, 20 November 2010 (UTC)Llh19[reply]

Here's a potential resource for Project STAR, with other ideas for resources listed at the bottom (U.S. Department of Education): http://thechp.syr.edu/project.htm. 130.49.145.58 (talk) 17:14, 22 November 2010 (UTC)Llh19[reply]

Review[edit]

This institute was actually the institute that helped my brother, who is diagnosed with CP, walk, and I'm doing a Persuasive Writing Assignment in English class, and I figured I might as well write about this institute.

Review[edit]

This institute was actually the institute that helped my brother, who is diagnosed with CP, walk, and I'm doing a Persuasive Writing Assignment in English class, and I figured I might as well write about this institute. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Gibbyboy15 (talk • contribs) 22:12, 28 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

External links modified[edit]

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