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John, you went a little crazy adjusting the entry.
We're both a bit biased (I'm Class of '91 and I know who you are), but the point is to state information with minimal judgment according to what a disinterested party would want to know.
A list of noteworthy people who visited would be alright, but we must ignore our urge to include or exclude based on controversy or perception. I would also bullet point the community service projects, with links if available.
But we're missing the big stuff like recent expansions and the planned facility for the pharmacology program. Think major press release kind of stuff, not newsletter or promotional literature. Also, you need to omit your "for more information" tag-line, keeping in mind the purpose of this site, and the fact that the whole thing is for more information in the research sense, not commercial contacts (which are on the DYC site linked at the bottom).
I'd like to work with you on this, and can take care of it if it's too much hassle for you. Maybe we could do lunch and discuss how to improve the article to benefit everyone. Give me a call. 716-868-1329