Talk:East Bay Green Corridor

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Article[edit]

Great job so far. I've gone in an made just a few edits, so take a look. My initial impression is that it's quite good, although there may be a bit too much detail in here (such as the long list of cities/entities with who represented them at a meeting). It isn't that this detail is bad or wrong, but I'm not sure it's entirely appropriate for an encyclopedia article, which should really just hit the highlights. A list of the cities may suffice just as well. There is also a tendency here for people to get very recalcitrant if they believe that you are pressing some kind of corporate or political agenda on behalf of a person or entity and when something is tainted with that notion people can dig their heels in against even small things. Whether you are or aren't involved with the corridor, I would recommend taking this kind of advice to heart just in case you run into someone who questions the level of detail here and the motivations for it. Otherwise, I would just recommend that you fill out full citations for the items that have web links, using the cite news template. (I can help you with that.) A great first effort. — e. ripley\talk 02:17, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

Thanks so much for the feedback and the helpful edits! I wasn't sure how much to include, so I think I erred on the side of too much - you seem to have taken out everything I was on the fence about! I included the list of representatives for the founding members because most of them are very prominent and important people themselves. For instance, the signer for LBNL was Steven Chu, who is the current Secretary of Energy. I tried to work that fact in later, because I think it is actually fairly important to the context of the corridor - having the vocal support of the Secretary of Energy has given the corridor much added clout. I see that you cut that sentence... is there a better way to work the info in? Or should I just leave it out entirely? I don't mean it in a promotional way, just as context. Of the six original signers, five are notable enough to already have articles, and several of them are very important locally, especially Dellums, who is something of legend in these parts. I didn't include the signers for the members that joined later, because none of them were notable themselves. Thanks again for your great help! Tarastar42 (talk) 03:13, 22 June 2010 (UTC)Tarastar42

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