I'll give this article a review either tonight or tomorrow, and gradually look through to see what things may be modified. I'll do the best I can on my end. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 21:39, 11 June 2011 (UTC)
- First things first, the issues brought up by Piotrus are worth addressing, so do those and I'll continue the review from there. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 21:47, 11 June 2011 (UTC)
hi Wizardman! Thanks for taking the time to review this article. We've addressed some of the issues brought up by Piotrus. Do you have any further suggestions? Thanks Kas205 (talk) 21:23, 15 June 2011 (UTC)
Here are the issues I noticed with the article:
- "Whereas globalization is centered around the diminution of international trade regulations as well as tariffs, taxes, and other impediments that suppresses global trade." This reads like a sentence fragment to me unless I'm misreading it.
- "People residing in an early civilization in Mesopotamia (Sumer)" this can be modified to simply note that Sumerians came up with this system; since there's wikilinks available we don't need to worry about adding in meanings.
- "the other side of the world.However," add space after punctuation.
- "in the late 1920s" period at end of sentence.
- "world wide globalization of the economy" worldwide's one word.
- "economic globalization is an irreversible trend due to the fact the" fact that the
- "nations' various economic policies have suppress the impetuous for their own economies" suppressed; also, impetuous what? a word's missing there.
- "states has been show in the past" shown
- "Shanquan's theory of economic globalization as a primary" primarily
- "The information is represented in the chart below." self-references are to be avoided.
- "Despite many analysts concern" analysts' concerns
- " )." not sure what the extra parenthesis/period goes to.
- make sure there's no spaces between footnotes (. instead of . ), which is a problem in the effects on world cultures section
- "** internationalization ** " remove the stars.
- The many issues in the notes section (page additions, dead links, etc.) need to be addressed.
- And I am glad to see you have assessed this article as B-class. GA is not out of reach, indeed :) --Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus| talk 17:01, 17 June 2011 (UTC)
Here's my second run though of comments. Here's the clerical changes:
- "Economic globalization comprises the globalization" comprises of
- "According to China's prominent economist Gao Shanquan" perhaps just say economist or Chinese economist. If he was that prominent I'd imagine he'd have at least an article on here.
- "Further, in his recent book entitled Globalization: Power, Authority, and Legitimacy in Late Modernity," Furthermore, and anything after that can be cut; it's in the reference so not needed right in the body.
- "and references International Studies professor Peter J. Katzenstein accessing" you mean assessing?
- "due to the symbiotic nature of globalization and regionalism, so does the conflict between economic regionalism and multiculturalism." this feels like it's missing a word or something; not sure how to fix this one.
- The first paragraph in the positive section has a rather long quote. Try and put it in your own words, since a couple words they use are a bit iffy. If you can't then I'll let this one go.
- "must give voice to developing countries" a voice
- "There is a need for social respect of all persons worldwide. The Economic Commission of Latin America and the Caribbean suggests that in order to ensure such social respect, the United Nations should expand its agenda to work more rigorously with international lending agencies. Despite their title, international lending agencies tend to be nation based." would like a source for this, since it's a separate thought and I doubt the refs before or after go to that.
- "WWII, where as internationalization began" spell out and link World War II; also, whereas is one word.
- "In 2006, 233 of 280 or well over half of the" 'or well over half' can be removed.
- "The Body Shop, a British ecologically conscious cosmetic company, represents the process of McDonaldization working in all directions" how? expand on that a bit.
- The page needed tags in the notes remain unaddressed.
- Reference #5 is a deadlink, so a new source needs to be found.
- Reference #2 has an unreliable source tag on it. either prove it's reliable or replace the source.
- Make sure that everything in the first run through was addressed. Almost everything was but I found a couple things that weren't, mostly what I listed above.
And here's a few things for discussion I thought up. These are not necessarily actionable, and is more for further improvements, though I would at least like them looked over before I close this:
- Could the evolution of the BRIC countries he added in? they seem to be a major result of this to me, but I could be off base here in seeing this as an addition possibility.
- You note in the lead that the globalization has begun happening for the past several hundred years, yet the history section jumps from Sumer to the 20th century. Certainly some globalization evolution during the age of exploration could be noted?
- The Negative effects and solutions section certainly has solutions, but I'm seeing little in the way of negative effects. I'm sure there are a couple economists out there that are against this that you can cite and adding in their points. It's not quite biased, but it's enough that it caused me to think it over.
- The assignment has ended, and I don't expect any further student editing as the motivation (grade) is gone (although it would be a nice surprise). The article has been improved from stub to B-class. Thanks for you assistance, hopefully somebody else can take the points above and improve the article further! --Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus| talk 17:31, 22 June 2011 (UTC)