Talk:Edouard Izac/GA1
GA Review[edit]
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 12:57, 18 March 2019 (UTC)
Hi, I'll be taking this on. Please ping me when responding on this page, so it doesn't get lost in my ~3,500 page watchlist... Eddie891 Talk Work 12:57, 18 March 2019 (UTC)
- Sounds good! @Eddie891: I figure I'll get to it once you finish the review. Is this the case? Thanks! —Ed!(talk) 03:03, 29 March 2019 (UTC)
- Ed!, Done! Eddie891 Talk Work 16:24, 30 March 2019 (UTC)
- Ed!: any update on responding to my prose comments? If you don't agree with them, just say that, and I will happily pass Eddie891 Talk Work 23:19, 22 May 2019 (UTC)
- Ed!, Done! Eddie891 Talk Work 16:24, 30 March 2019 (UTC)
Sources[edit]
- AGF on offline sources, if you intend to take it further, reviewers may request scans of the pages.
- If you inline cite the United States Congress Biographical Dictionary, that's fine, but then it shouldn't be listed in the "references" section
- Ref #34c does not cite 'An accident following the death of his wife in 1970 led him to live with his second daughter, Anna"
- Ref #39 could use a page number, and I'm not seeing anything about redistricting
- Ref #44a does not cite the 1960s claim, at least on ProQuest saying "In later years, he raised beef cattle and lived in Bethesda, Md."
Prose[edit]
experiences touring concentration camps changed some of his views
this could hardly be more vague. Clarify?- standardize year formats (be consistent between mdy or dmy)
Interested in learning from a young age
perhaps remove.recommendation from a Congressman in Chicago
who was the congressman?- clarify what war he's fighting in in the article body
he signed up for the Naval Transport Service
a date would be useful here for contextAbraham Lincoln rolled starboard
is this referring to the President Lincoln, or a different ship.especially for the Russian prisoners of war
why is this necessary?d to a plum post as the
instead of 'plum', use a more NPOV and accessible description.hese retellings gained an audience and he was noted for his animation.
is this necessary?Running again in 1936, Izac changed his strategy and used his war record and Medal of Honor award as selling points in his political campaign. He retold the story of his capture in rallies at auditoriums, schools and in the streets. These retellings gained an audience and he was noted for his animation.
perhaps rephrase as "Campaigning again in 1936, Izac changed his strategy and used his war record and Medal of Honor award as selling points in his political campaign. He retold the story of his capture in various rallies, becoming noted for his animation while speaking."the New York Times.
only the times?- here are the copyedits I made. Feelfree to revert any or all. Eddie891 Talk Work 16:24, 30 March 2019 (UTC)
General[edit]
- Is http://www.homeofheroes.com/photos/6_ww1/izac.html supposed to redirect to a log in page? If yes, I'd say there's no point in including the link
A drive by comment[edit]
It may be helpful to give his term as a representative in the lead. (Just a thought.) A nice article, IMHO. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:16, 11 May 2019 (UTC)
- Feels like it would be inconsistent to do so without also doing so for the Navy service, based on current sentence structure. Adding both would make it start to run on. —Ed!(talk) 03:50, 14 May 2019 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
|