|WikiProject Microbiology||(Rated Start-class, Mid-importance)|
|This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Assigned student editor(s): Jennifer Old, Keenanec, Stevie Henley.|
Hi I'm2015evolution7 (talk) 13:57, 25 October 2015 (UTC) I have edited this article by editing some basic grammar and eliminating a lot of the excess information to make it a little less wordy. Feel free to make future edits to this page to further improve it.2015evolution7 (talk) 13:57, 25 October 2015 (UTC)
For the heading called "Reductive Evolution," I would either define or briefly explain what reductive evolution is. Currently your addition to the article is useful, but by expanding upon it, it could increase comprehension by the reader. Please explain what reductive evolution is, and what advantages/disadvantages it poses for the organism in question. It might also be helpful to throw in an example of another species that underwent reductive evolution and what the outcome was. Cheesecakefantasy (talk) —Preceding undated comment added 13:53, 26 October 2015 (UTC)
For the evolution section, just a few comments: • The first sentence sounds almost like an opinion, especially with no source cited after, but I understand this might be hard to address. • In the second paragraph, I feel that most of it is not needed. The explanation of truncation is not required, especially since the last two sentences tie directly into the first sentence. • In the fifth paragraph, you have to avoid saying things like we observed because it is like talking about a research article. We have to present the findings while avoiding wording like this. However, I could not think of how to reword it, and so I leave that to you. • The first two sentences of paragraph 6 are not needed, as Wikipedia actually has a page on Ehrlichia canis, but I am also unsure of how to start that paragraph after you take it out. Maybe “Ehrlichia canis is an ehrlichia bacterium that shows evolution in both its complex membrane structures and immune evasion strategies.” • Overall, it is well written, and I can easily understand it. However, it seems almost too scientific sounding, in that many people might not be able to understand it. Having said that, I know how difficult it can be to try to simplify the language, especially with so much information. So my advice would be to do it where you can, just to make it easier to understand. • Well done! Pubh101 (talk) 09:19, 16 November 2015 (UTC)
- I fixed minor grammar errors and improved sentence structures (please compare versions if needed). In the fifth paragraph under Evolution section, I changed 'we' to 'it was' since the observation was not done by us. Similar change was done in the next paragraph too. Most importantly, I added Wikilinks (hyperlinks that direct readers to other Wikipedia articles). About the information presented, why was Anaplasma mentioned in the fourth paragraph? I don't think it adds anything to this article about Ehrlichia. Also, there are some sentences that are left un-cited (e.g. "The host metabolic pathway enzymes ~ need for a host", "The more outer-membrane protein ~ the host's immune system.". etc.) Overall, nice flow of logic; the points brought up are coherent and easy to follow. Khzzang9 (talk) 04:48, 17 November 2015 (UTC)
- I also added subheadings under Evolution section for better format. Khzzang9 (talk) 04:56, 17 November 2015 (UTC)
Reply To Suggestions
Thanks for revising my grammar and simplifying my complex text. I went had and took out extraneous details and summarized the specifics. I also revised some grammar.
Thank you for your suggestions on reductive evolution. I simplified the section and explained a little more on the effect of reductive evolution. I got rid of the heading and blended the information to the rest of the article.
@ Dr. FF
Thank for your comments they were very helpful and made the article much more cohesive. I switched up the organization of the article and differentiated the phenotypic changes due to evolution and the genomic differences. I also elaborated and simplified the section on gene truncation and tandem repeats. I explained the effects of truncation and its influence on antigenic variants of Ehrlichia. I also made the examples of evolution more cohesive with the rest of the article. I explained how evolution leads to an increase in fitness in different species of Ehrlichia. I also simplified the section on Ehrlichia canis and translated it to more common language. I also added necessary citations at the end of each sentence as opposed to the end of the paragraph.
Gene conversion and outer membrane protein variants
Hi, I was reading through the article, and the section explaining outer membrane protein diversity sounded off. Truncation of protein coding genes alone won't produce additional variants of your protein - if you have a single copy of a gene and it's truncated, then unless the mutation is reversed you have typically lost the function of that gene. What's important for this phenomenon is gene duplication and diversification. In this case, it's not just the diversification of whole genes, but also of fragments remaining in the genome, which can accumulate mutations and then be incorporated back into an expressed copy of that gene through gene conversion. I hope I've made this clear in the text, feel free to comment/fix if not. Maonao (talk) 11:31, 30 August 2017 (UTC)
I noticed that some of the papers cited only mention one of the authors, so went through and fixed these citations - for the future, please be careful to include all authors on a paper, rather than just the last one. Maonao (talk) 11:31, 30 August 2017 (UTC)