Talk:Heartbreak Hotel/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 03:52, 2 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Due the new stuff at GAN, i create the page, I'll review it on this days. Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 03:52, 2 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:
See below

B. MoS compliance:
Unfortunatly no, fails many of the Mos
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:
some dead links, some links missed

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
Where necessary

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:
Some information is missed, like a complete personnel section, but I think it is within the text

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
See below
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
see below

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
See below
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

General

1 dead link 3 dab links

Infobox

All images would have WP:ALT text.

Genre: Rock and roll, Blues -> Genre: Rock and roll, blues

Lead

WP:LEAD does not summarize the article.

in Nashville, -> Nashville, Michigan? Nashville, California?

first single for RCA Records and -> first single for RCA Records, and

music could no be wikilinked.

B-side -> wikilink

January 27, 1956 -> dates are usually not wikilinked. I've never seen a FA, FL or GA with dates wikilinked, exceptin important dates

[1][2], -> sources are not needed at the lead, the information is in the article.

becoming the first #1 pop record by Presley -> several issues:

becoming is a connector; a previous It topped the ″Billboard″ Hot 100 on x date, becoming... would be proper
#1 -> per WP:numbers -> number one
pop record -> according to the article it is a rock and roll/ blues song, not pop.

History
History -> Background

street"[4], -> street",[4]

Inspired by the suicide of a young man who left a note with the line, "I walk a lonely street"[4], songwriters Tommy Durden, then a steel-guitarist in Smiling Jack Herring and his Swing Billies,[5] and Mae Boren Axton, a teacher in Jacksonville, Florida, wrote "Heartbreak Hotel" -> This line needs a copy-edit. "a" used to do "b and "c" was a "d"

1955.[6][7]Axton -> 1955.[6][7] Axton

Axton was the mother of Hoyt Axton, and also a publicist for Hank Snow whose manager, Colonel Tom Parker, would later also manage Presley. -> ^{[citation needed]}

December 9, 1955[11][12] -> December 9, 1955,[11][12]

and declared it his "first hit" -> source does not state it

Recording

January 10, 1956 -> January 10, 1956,

in Nashville[13], -> in Nashville,[13]

Commission .[14] -> Commission.[14]

The article needs about its composition (Tempo, vocal range, etc), if is possible to find it.

Release

Billboard described -> Billboard described

he performed Shake, Rattle and Roll mixed with Flip, Flop and Fly, and I Got A Woman {{he performed "Shake, Rattle and Roll" mixed with "Flip, Flop and Fly", and "I Got A Woman"}}

the song[24], -> the song,[24]

the role of producer, -> disambiguation needed

When Presley recorded "Hound Dog" a few months later, he had completely taken over the role of producer, using what he learned at Sun Records (although Steve Sholes was still credited) and decided not to use echo. -> ^{[citation needed]}

Chart performance

Pop chart at #68 and the Country and Western chart at number #9. -> Pop chart (which country?) at number 68, and the Country and Western chart at number number nine.^{[citation needed]}

two months it had reached #1 on both charts; for eight weeks and seventeen weeks respectively -> #1 -> number one -> and unsourced too

It also peaked at #5 -> five

resulting in Presley's first Gold record[25] -> resulting in Presley's first Gold record,[25]

Why there's no information about his 2.00x Multi Platinum certification?

his follow-up single, I Want You, I Need You, I Love You, the same month -> his follow-up single, "I Want You, I Need You, I Love You", the same month

In the UK, the single reached #2 on the Pop singles charts -> the UK charts are not pop-only charts.

Legacy

"Heartbreak Hotel" became an instantly recognizable part of Presley's live set. -> POV?

and it was re-released in 1971 for the UK market where it charted at #10 -> This source is more reliable, but did not shown the "fact"

Hall of Fame[28], -> Hall of Fame,[28]

[30], -> ,[30]

Uncut Magazine -> Uncut

as a 3-track CD single[32] that -> Different topic, comma -> as a 3-track CD single,[32] that

the Billboard Hot Singles Sales Chart.[7] , -> the Billboard Hot Singles Sales Chart.[7] ,

the Billboard Hot Singles Sales Chart.[7] , -> per the bold

pesmama[33]. The -> pesmama.[33] The

president Bill Clinton -> wikilink

In 1997, the Elvis Presley Enterprises purchased a Wilson World Hotel branch and after several renovations, in 1998 opened it and named the hotel after the song, located across the street from Presley's home, Graceland, in Memphis, Tennessee.[7][35]

A movie with the same title, based on a mythical incident involving the kidnapping of Presley, was released theatrically in 1988. It starred David Keith as Elvis Presley, and was directed by Chris Columbus.[36] That same year, the song was mentioned in Patty Loveless's "Blue Side of Town".[37] -> not enough information for deserve their own paragraphs.

had a no. 1 -> WP:NUMBERS

only #1 -> per above

The Cadets -> who?

The Rock -> maybe Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson?

The Rock was famous for singing his own version of the song, renamed "Smackdown Hotel", during his wrestling career.[43] -> source does not state it.

Non-free media

File:Heartbreak.JPG -

File:Heartbreakhotel.ogg -

File:Elvisnashville.jpg -

File:Elvisstageshow.jpg -

File:Elvisfirstgoldrecord.jpg -

And the reason is: According to our beauty fair use rule 3a: Minimal usage. Multiple items of non-free content are not used if one item can convey equivalent significant information. -> Obviously those are unique in history and free images would not exist. But having 5 non-free media in an article is excessive. If you choice to keep on of them, it must be reduced, at least 200px and at most 300px.

References

Do not use " " in the {{cite web}} template. It does it by default

Ref 1, 10, 13, 18, 19, 21, 25 -> Those are published by Elvis Presley Enterprise so -> |work=Elvis Presley Official Website or Elvis.com or Elvis News |publisher=Elvis Presley Enterprise

Ref 3, 9, 12, 15, 20, 22, 23 need to go in this format. You are giving an author and the pages, but where is the book?

Ref 8 and 36 are not reliable sources

Ref 25 needs to be changed by the RIAA link

Ref 27 needs to be changed to the reference of Chart Stats or the Official Company link, is more reliable.

24, 26, 28, 29, 30, 33, 34 are according to them external links, but there's no source

Ref 31 -> |work= BBC News |publisher=BBC

Ref 35, 37 -> |work=Yahoo! Music |publisher=Yahoo!

Ref 41 -> |work=Billboard |publisher=Nielsen Business Company or Nielsen Company

Gray, Michael "Thomas Durden obituary", The Guardian, 1999-10-28, Retrieved on April 19, 2007. -> Not a reference itself, maybe an external link

Sucession chart does not go on the section, per a recent consensus the table should be sustituted by a "see also" Billboard Top 100 number one single, etc.

The template Elvis Presley is not for this article.

Final comment

Good article, but not a good article yet. I have to quick fail it. It needs a general copy-edit, and fix the sources and unsourced facts. You are overusing the ref 7, is reliable=yes, the problem is that the information should exist in Billboard archives (for the chart stuff), You should use only one image (single cover) and at most two of them. Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 02:33, 5 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

If you feel this is in error, you may request a Good article reassessment or re-nominate it. Tbhotch^Talk ^C. 02:36, 5 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]