Talk:Hong Kong Amateur Hockey Club

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Issues[edit]

There are several issues with the article which I do not understand as we created this document from scratch and copied it from a word file and then re-edited to meet the formatting of Wikipedia.

Can anyone help me to resolve these issues? Johntkchan (talk) 07:56, 13 April 2011 (UTC)

Hi. I'm not the contributor who tagged the article, but I may be able to clarify some of the issues.
Wikipedia is an encyclopedia. Our goal is to neutrally summarize what reliable sources have said about notable subjects. We cannot place our own opinion or observations in articles, but are limited to what published sources have said. Policies to help explain this exist at Wikipedia:NPOV, WP:V and WP:NOR.
With that in mind, let's look at the following:

...so to encourage more people, especially the youngsters in Hong Kong who have not tasted the joy of ice hockey before, to actually see and touch the game and enjoy the unique excitement of this ultimate sport on ice.

This content does not offer a neutral view of ice hockey. "tasted the joy" and "the unique excitement of this ultimate sport on ice" are opinion. It is more in keeping with our mission and our policies to simply state something like, "so to encourage more people, especially younger people who have never played ice hockey, to experience it." This language would not seem to promote ice hockey.
Also representing a concern of the same sort, we have this:

The Tournament often creates a city-wide buzz and is becoming one of the annual highlights on Hong Kong’s sporting calendar.

Who says this? We need to verify that the tournament creates a city-wide buzz, and we must certainly attribute the opinion that it is "becoming one of the annual highlights". Language such as this leads to the impression that the article's authors may be somewhat biased in their summary.
And this:

Mr Thomas Wu, a hockey player himself, is widely known for his enthusiasm, mission, vision, efforts and tenacity in promoting and developing the sport of ice hockey in the Greater China region including Hong Kong, Macau, the mainland China and Taipei.

If he is widely known for these things, it should be simple enough to find reliable media sources that discuss them. Without those sources, the content is inappropriate.
If you have any questions about any of this, please feel free to come by my talk page. I can try to explain further or direct you to appropriate fora for receiving further input. --Moonriddengirl (talk) 16:08, 17 April 2011 (UTC)