- The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: WikiRedactor (talk · contribs) 23:48, 1 January 2014 (UTC)
- Link studio album in the first sentence.
- To clarify for unfamiliar readers, I'd mention that John Mayer is a singer.
- Please give a little more background about these infamous characters. (I see that you touch on Juliet and Cleopatra a little further down, so perhaps elaborate that the lyrics mention fictional and historical characters that are well-known for their romances.)
Added, I think.
- "That lyricism was the main target of criticism from contemporary music critics, relatively to "Legendary Lovers", which was considered to be subpar to the musical composition." This sentence is a little confusing. I would suggest rewriting it to read something like "'Legendary Lovers' received generally mixed reviews from music critics, who were ambivalent towards said lyrical content and overall production."
- You don't have to start off the South Korean charts sentences with "commercially", mentioning the chart is enough to make that connection.
- Background and composition
- Since the song is quite the departure from anything else in Katy's catalog, a brief sample from the chorus might be helpful for readers.
- "Perry collaborated with Bonnie McKee, Dr. Luke, Max Martin, and Cirkut." This sentence isn't really adding anything of value to the article, so I'd remove it.
Removed, although I reworded a bit that part.
- Since the above edit would leave Bonnie's quote on its own, I would put that paragraph into a quote box (the way I do a couple times over at Bangerz.)
Then we can just jump right into the bit with the curry. Done
- "The song's recording took place at various studios:" Please change this to read "The song's recording took place at various studios, including..."
- "According to the sheet music published by Kobalt Music Publishing America, Inc. on Musicnotes.com," This piece is unnecessary.
- Wasn't there some kind of private premiere of Prism for select critics a while back? I think that's where I first read the bit about the song having the most interesting chorus from the record, so that event would be worth adding into this section.
- Critical reception
- This section seems a little light. If possible, I'd like to see some more reviews added to make it a bit fuller. (What I often go into the parent article and see if the reviews listed in the "Critical reception" template give anymore information about the song at hand; it saves a lot of time on Google!)
Added a lot of reviews, thank you for the tip!
- I'd replace the first sentence with something along the lines of "'Legendary Lovers' received generally mixed reviews from music critics, who were ambivalent towards said lyrical content and overall production", maybe something a little different so it doesn't copy the introduction word-for-word.
Done After some of these corrections are addressed, I'm concerned that the article will be too short, and will probably need an expansion before it can be promoted. When you take a look at some more reviews to add in the article, make sure you also look for any more information that is said about the song's structure, background, and anything else that will make the article fuller and more complete. WikiRedactor (talk) 01:03, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
- I kind of expanded it a bit, but I'll try to find even more info if needed. prism △ 13:33, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
We're already looking in much better shape! I still have a couple pointers:
- I see a void in "Critical reception" where a picture might fit nicely, although I'm not exactly sure what could be placed here. (You don't have to add one if you don't want to, I'm just throwing out an idea.)
- I think I'll add a picture of Bonnie McKee or Cleopatra or something... Done prism △ 16:31, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
- I don't see anything that explicitly says worldbeat in the sources you've provided for that statement (or maybe I'm just missing something.)
- Check the Idolator reference (about the previews). :)
- Silly me! Thanks for pointing that out.
I spot-checked several sources along the way and they all are in order (as usual!) I went ahead a make some small grammatical adjustments, and after these last set of corrections are addressed, I think that the article will be ready for promotion. WikiRedactor (talk) 16:11, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
- I'm happy with the changes made, so I'm going to go ahead and pass the article. Keep up the good work! WikiRedactor (talk) 16:34, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
- Thank you! prism △ 16:35, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
- The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.