Talk:Louis J. Sebille/GA1
- I look forward to the review. I will write out my initial comments later this week. Best regards, Lord Roem (talk) 19:37, 27 February 2011 (UTC)
Things to fix/resolve
- Second to last sentence in last paragraph is a run-on.
- "or MC", not needed.
- Need a cite for "During that time he was described as an outstanding pilot and leader..."
- Need a cite for "...but when those flights produced heavy casualties...they began flying medium-altitude missions"
- Confused about placement of the '3,000 hours of flying time'. Maybe move that to after the WWII section? It sounds like he flew 3k hours in five days...
Medal of Honor action'
- First sentence reads like a run-on.
- Is 'Beachhead' capitalized?
- "passed under his nose" - cliche?
- "But only one of his bombs had released..." - merge to the sentence before. But sounds out of place here.
- Oh my gosh that looks so pretty/awesome :-)
- Maybe write how many of these were given posthumously. You only say the Medal of Honor was given to him after death.
- Not sure the information proceeding the actual citation message is needed. I'm talking about the Rank and org...place and date, etc.
- Rename Sources to Bibliography?
- Maybe a more descriptive caption for the picture of Louis Sebille next to the plane.