Talk:Louisa Matilda Jacobs
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|This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 24 September 2018 and 6 December 2018. Further details are available on the course page. Assigned student editor(s): Kpb1370.|
Chris Free Peer Review
Lead is very well done, it is short and concise. Article is clear and structured in a fluid manner. This article remains unbaised and does not violate neutrality, moreover the article, along with its sources are trustworthy. The only change I would make is to reformat the "Education" section because is looks slightly unorganized compared to the others. Overall, this is likely one of the best articles in the class, good job!
Tucker Ford's Peer Review
With this assignment I feel like there is not much for you to do besides go through and make sure there are zero spelling and grammar errors. I am not known to your writing style but it felt like there were a few sentences that would benefit from having a comma being used. I felt like your lead section was amazing; you gave the reader some information but not so much that I felt like I was rereading paragraph after paragraph. You had clear structure throughout each paragraph and everything was neutral, not containing biases.
To find some kind of constructive criticism, I would just say that the formatting was kind of odd in a few places like with the paragraph text and the picture, but that is getting nit-picky.
Prof. Smith Feedback:
As your peers have noted above, you have very little left to do on this article before it's perfect and ready to go.I think that the writing is excellent, the article is well sourced, and you do a great job thoroughly explaining her life progression. In addition to giving this one last round of proofreading, here are a few (minor) things I'd like to see as you revise for the final draft and move this live: 1) Contrary to your peer reviewers, I think the lead probably needs to be reworked. "Female of mixed race" just sounds odd for an opener and buries the lede. I would also be sure to mention that she is the daughter of Harriet Jacobs in the lead because she is incredibly famous and her slave narrative gets assigned constantly in high school and college courses. So, I would go with something like: Louisa Matilda Jacobs (dates) was an African American abolitionist and civil rights activist and the daughter of famed fugitive slave and author, Harriet Ann Jacobs [and then include the other info about the schools here in a following sentence]. People who are looking at your article will likely be most interested in Louisa's connection to the much more famous Harriet, and so emphasizing her mother's fame and prominence will be helpful here and throughout the article. If Harriet mentions Louisa's birth in Incidents in the Life of Slave Girl, her most famous book, then you should definitely highlight that and include some information about it. 2) The only part of the article that was confusing to me was the sentence or two under "Early Life" that involved the sale of her children. I couldn't exactly figure out who bought her children and who she was trying to keep away from her children, largely because the referent for "he" got confusing. Could you rewrite that section for clarity? StaceySmithOSU (talk) 20:40, 1 December 2018 (UTC)