Talk:Luke Moore (footballer born 1988)/GA1
Comments sorry for the delay:
- "Moore comprised part of the" why not just "was part"?
- "scoring a crucial penalty" one could argue that all penalties in a shoot out are crucial.
- "Luke Moore is also noted.." no need to repeat his first name.
- Is Moore really noted "for being a member of the starting XI that played in AFC Wimbledon's inaugural Football League match"?
- "Luke Moore began his career" no need to repeat his first name.
- Nothing at all on his personal life? School? Family?
- "The club's name was subsequently changed to Ebbsfleet United in May 2007 after the club agreed a sponsorship deal with Eurostar, whose trains use the nearby Ebbsfleet International station." not sure of the importance of this to Moore's article. If you deem it absolutely necessary, make it a footnote.
- "20 January 2007" full stop missing.
- "on to find the net twice more" not encyclopedic.
- His first season you talk in some detail about just about every goal he scored, then the second season it's just a brief overview. Be consistent with the level of detail, you've got recentism in reverse!
- "Moore went on to join newly promoted..." why "went on to join" when "joined" would be more succinct?
- " 2010-11" en-dash needed.
- "a brace" not sure this is obvious to non-experts, I think sadly the brace article just directs this back to "two".
- "was able to score one" what's wrong with "scored one"?
- Career statistics table is out of step with info box.
- Ref 1 needs an en-dash. And it's dead.
- Where is his DoB referenced?
- As to education and early career development, maybe these might prove helpful. cheers, Struway2 (talk) 17:26, 8 October 2013 (UTC)
- Thank you very much Struway2, your links were most helpful and have been incorporated into the article. I believe that all issues raised by the reviewerThe Rambling Man have now been addressed. with kind regards, Jodie25 19:02, 11 October 2013 (UTC)