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FMF asked me to look at this before sending it back to FAC. I haven't gotten all the way through it, but my main concern is that the lead and History are a confusing narrative in places. It was honestly difficult for me to follow, knowing nothing about these handhelds. Some random examples of concerns follow; some of them speak to the narrative issues:
- Check compliance with WP:CAPTION. Image captions that aren't complete sentences shouldn't end in periods.
- "This new functionality was intended to facilitate personalization, so as to encourage each member of a household to purchase an individual DSi." Does the word "individual" add anything to the sentence?
- "Reviewers were generally positive in their reception of the Nintendo DSi" Too wordy; could get the point across much more concisely. Why not "Reviews of the Nintendo DSi were generally positive."
- "CNET and PC World considered the DSi Shop to be the largest buying incentive for current DS owners." How is an incentive "large"? Do you mean important? Use more precise and descriptive words.
- "Critics believed the DSi XL was not an essential upgrade." No context provided. We don't know what this is.
- "GamePro and Wired UK thought that its larger screens revitalized Nintendo DS games." The XL's larger screens? Or the DSi's larger screens?
- "Following instructions from his supervisor, Masato Kuwahara of Nintendo's Engineering Department started development of the project." Seems like an odd detail. Wouldn't every worker everywhere be following instructions from their supervisor?
- "However, to improve portability without sacrificing durability, the GBA cartridge slot present on earlier models was removed." How would having the slot reduce durability? This is not explained.
- Why would the response to having two slots not be good, when you just said that everyone was demanding them?
- "Mario creator Shigeru Miyamoto insisted for 'DSi Deka'." Insisted on?
- Toward the end of the third para of History, before Launch, the narrative becomes very confusing. You seem to mention things that have already been mentioned, and the relationship among the DS Lite, the larger DS Lite, the DSi, and the DSi XL is very muddy. The motivations and strategies are very unclear here.
- The cutting-glass section is confusing as well; it seems contradictory with what you just said about the screen size being limited by cost.
- As you start Launch discussion colors, it is unclear that you are referring to the color of the casing. I first read it as "black and white" and thought the screen was not in color.
No information whatsoever about sound connectors
In the DSi, just next to the typical 3.5mm earphone jack connector. You can see the two thin wires on a square socket. NO information about such connector name, specifications, characteristics... though it can be assumed somehow it would provide better output quality than earphones. Is it an obsolete adaptor or it is so sophisticated that one five people know about it and will never be available again? — Preceding unsigned comment added by 220.127.116.11 (talk) 19:48, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
DSi's CPU speed
Where are there any reliable sources that the DSi has any confirmed improvements it's CPU's processing capabilities? All Iwata said is improved performance nothing directly CPU related I it seems all the media interpreted as the CPU. I can't believe that a mere revision of the DS that has a short development time a custom chip that houses both CPU's while developed alongside a DS successor (the 3DS) has an improvement the the CPU's.
it would have taken months to produced the die manufacture a bunch of chips that contains the new CPU's plus taken in the account that there probably be several versions to ensure a suitable design that fits the purpose then add the fact theres also new software for the system then it has to be ready to manufacture in short notice ready for the market.
There can't really be enough time for the DSi to have a specially designed complainant ready the short amount of time it took the develop the DSi. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Kawaiipikachu (talk • contribs) 08:05, 2 October 2012 (UTC)