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"to become a mature adult". This part of the sentance gives the impression that self-pity is a childish and selfish emotion, and not a problem and result of poor self-esteem which is stated at the beginning of the article. rephrase?

needs work[edit]

This article lacks a comprehensive overview of psychological, philosophical and historical aspects. Noting it here probably only as reminder to myself. I dorftrotteltalk I 04:08, December 1, 2007

The thing about Obama seems not very neutral or relevant.. —Preceding unsigned comment added by (talk) 23:00, 31 October 2010 (UTC)

There is no mention of emotionality or mental health of an individual which could predispose one to "self-pity". When in the context of violence or trauma humans will respond with a "why me?" response. This can be misinterpreted as self pity instead of a natural stage of denial which is part of the normal grieving process. The definition is not emotion specific. Pity for self may be part of the grieving process and a normal response to pain, loss or violence. It is not always a sign of immaturity and can be a healthy and appropriate response. Not all self pity is an attempt at "manipulation" It can also be culture specific. Keeping all elements in mind including emotional maturity as a thermostat would serve all with a clearer definition and a more accurate tool for evaluation. —Preceding unsigned comment added by (talk) 16:41, 5 April 2011 (UTC)

This article needs a more in depth look at the psychological aspects of self pity. Perhaps you could add more about the differnt stages of self pity? Cited sources would also add to the depth of the article.--BrendanDavis92 (talk) 21:49, 19 September 2011 (UTC)

It is astonishing[edit] someone could get away with writing an article that makes all assertions without any citations. I don't presume to know everything about self-pity or other emotions, but that's just it. The article may as well just be somebody's opinion, which is not what wiki is about. Belore (talk) 13:34, 9 October 2011 (UTC)

Obviously, I can understand why no one has changed the article in years. It's a mess, and low-priority. I don't know what to do with it either. Because I don't want to bomb the main page with tags, here is a list of all the problems I have found in the article. This doesn't mean that there should be 24 separate references, just that these are unsupported assertions, statements lacking neutral POV, and weasel words that need to be cleaned up to meet Wikipedia's quality standards.
1.Self-pity is the psychological state of mind of an individual in perceived adverse situations who has not accepted the situation [citation needed]
2. and does not have the confidence nor ability to cope with it [citation needed].
3. It is characterized by a person's belief that he or she is the victim of events and is therefore deserving of condolence [citation needed]
4. Self-pity is generally regarded [by whom?]
5. as a negative emotion [neutrality is disputed]
6. in that it does not generally help deal with adverse situations [citation needed][vague].
7. However, in a social context [which?],
8. it may [when?] result in either the offering of sympathy or advice. [by whom?][citation needed]
9. Self-pity may be considered normal, (relative to what standard?)
10. and in certain [which?] circumstances
11. healthy [by whom?],
12. so long as it is transitory and leads to either acceptance or a determination to change the situation [citation needed][vague].
13. Self-pity can be remarkably [editorializing] self-sustaining [citation needed]
14. particularly in conjunction with depression [citation needed] or other conditions [which?]
15. However self-pity is a way of paying attention to oneself, [how?][vague]
16. albeit negatively [neutrality is disputed];
17. it is a means of self-soothing or self-nurturing ("I hurt so much"). [citation needed]
18. Social-Learning theorists [attribution needed] purport (This is just a synonym for said, and also expresses doubt. For more, see the "Avoid weasel words" guidelines.)
21. that self-pity is a method for gaining attention,[citation needed]
22. probably (probably?!?! See the "Avoid weasel words" guidelines)
23. as a child, where an individual received attention, support, and nurturing while being sick or hurt. The child then grows up having learned to give attention to oneself (or ask for attention from others) while in real or dramatized distress to receive the same payoff. [citation needed]
24. Thus, another form of self-sustainment can be sympathy offered by others (for example, someone might use the phrase "oh, you poor thing" to comfort the person in self-pity). [citation needed] Belore (talk) 16:16, 9 October 2011 (UTC)


I would like to see a scholarly article about self-pity with references. This one just seems to be someone's opinions. (talk) 11:11, 5 December 2011 (UTC)


The term "self-pity" is fundamentally sarcastic. It is not possible to pity one's self. The term is used to describe the negative feelings that one has for one's self, especially when faced with one's own failures. It is a means of ridiculing the natural negative thought processes that come with life's failures for the purpose of encouraging more constructive thinking. (talk) 08:11, 31 July 2012 (UTC)