Talk:Social determinants of health in Mexico

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Peer Review 1[edit]

Good job on a well-done contribution that addresses an important area that has not yet been covered by Wikipedia! There are definitely some positive elements to your most recent contribution which has expanded the scope and depth of the overall article. There are a few changes that I think that should be made to enhance the overall quality of the article. The usage of terminology that can be difficult to understand for the average reader should be defined or explained (what is the nutrition transition?) Also, some areas could be elaborated (rural subsection) especially since you argue that conditions in rural areas or worse than that of urban areas, it would be helpful to elaborate some of the issues facing rural regions.

The rural subsection of the article is entirely sourced from one source. It would be helpful to diversify so that you can also take a greater variety of viewpoints.

Readability is another area that could greatly improve the overall quality of the article. There are times when there is some wordiness. Consider replacing "the place where people live" with "home" or "location." There are some awkward sentences that could be improved as clauses seem to refer to items that do not exist. Furthermore, there is some interesting subject/verb agreement issues that should also be addressed.

It might also be a good idea to add images to the article. Using wikimedia could be a great resource to find public domain images that would enhance the overall aesthetic quality of the article.

Good job, and I am excited to see how this article continues to develop. Hihappy21 (talk) 23:44, 6 November 2013 (UTC)

Peer Review[edit]

I really think this is a good article! One area you could improve on is adding different viewpoints on the issues mentioned, which relate to a lot of the discussions we have in class. It would add a lot more depth to the article. Also, the article could be more comprehensive and dive into the issues a bit more. I know that this is a new article so getting super specific and adding a ton of detail might be difficult, so add where you think the most important issues are.

Overall great job! Kiarasanchez12 (talk) 04:56, 7 November 2013 (UTC)