Talk:The Irregular at Magic High School/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: ProtoDrake (talk · contribs) 22:26, 29 February 2016 (UTC)

I'll take this on. If I've not done anything with this review within the next three days, remind me. --ProtoDrake (talk) 22:26, 29 February 2016 (UTC)

GA Review

• "Azusa is voiced by Saki Ogasawara," - Red link needs removing.

• Okay

• "The story was conceived around Tatsuya Shiba who's ability defied standardized testing, causing people to view him as a poor performing student or an irregular." - The structure of the sentence is rather difficult to readthrough. Some adjustment so it scans better is needed.
  • Also, it's "whose" not "who's".

• Rewrote

• "Satō revealed that his scripting process for the Enrollment Arc and Visitor Arc were based on character behavior; the other story arcs were based on scenes the author wants to happen and scripts the story to reach that point. Satō professes that, unlike other writers, he does not feel his characters are alive or have a will of their own when scripting them." - There are tense issues in here, for instance the piece "other story arcs were based on scenes the author wants to happen". Some adjustment or an explanation is here.

• Rewrote

• Really don't think Kotaku TYA is a suitable source.

• If I remembered right, the Kotaku staff review the TAY reviews before having them published. Having an editorial staff and being covered by other news sources (Which happens to be Kotaku itself which may be discrediting) could allow that site to be used as reception. But I don't intend to fight this too much so I removed it. DragonZero (Talk · Contribs) 02:40, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

I'll have another look through the article when the points above have been addressed. Putting article on hold for now. --ProtoDrake (talk) 18:29, 2 March 2016 (UTC)

DragonZero, Right, here's a second pass.

• "It is directed by Manabu Ono, animated by Madhouse." - There's no third part to this sentence, so omitting "and" after the comma makes little sense. Unless there's some part of the information in the reference that was deleted by mistake.

• Removed comma, added and

• "Other notable English localization of the anime series include Animax Asia which began broadcasting the series in July 2015." - Needs rephrasing as singular and plural nouns are used in a way that clashes. Maybe try "Another notable English localization of the anime series is from Anime Asia, which..."

• Rewrote

• Only a minor note, but archiving the references when you've got time and opportunity is wise. But this has nothing to do with the outcome of this review, but is a suggestion for future improvements.

• I'm going to put my faith in the wayback machine. Thanks DragonZero (Talk · Contribs) 22:48, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

That's all I saw this time. Once the essential points are addressed, the article should be good to go. --ProtoDrake (talk) 10:50, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for the prompt responses. This article is now a Pass. --ProtoDrake (talk) 23:14, 4 March 2016 (UTC)