Talk:Tropical Storm Gabrielle (1995)

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Good article Tropical Storm Gabrielle (1995) has been listed as one of the Natural sciences good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
August 18, 2012 Good article nominee Listed
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Decent start, but I'd like to see some more info. Look through it again and try to smoothe out some of the edges; rewrite some sentences, combine others. This site has some good Mexican info, but it's in Spanish. Were there any tropical storm warnings? Is there a reason for its erratic path (or is it only due to Flossie)? Does NCDC have anything from Texas? Hurricanehink (talk) 04:01, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:Tropical Storm Gabrielle (1995)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 15:19, 17 August 2012 (UTC)

  • "As Gabrielle was impacting the east coast of Mexico, Hurricane Flossie in the Eastern Pacific was battering the Baja Peninsula" - the "as" is ambiguous. Does it mean "because"? "as a result of"? "Since"? It's not an ideal sentence starter. Also, could you use a less dramatic word than "battering"? It just makes me hungry and think of waffles.
  • "totaling to at least 19.44 inches (494 mm). " - why the "at least"? HPC says that was the peak. I think you should also say "peaking" instead of "totaling to". You should mention the HPC peak in the impact section too.
    • Because there are reports of rainfall totals higher than that.--12george1 (talk) 16:36, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
  • Add the exact rainfall for Texas.
  • "damaging mainly unharvested cotton" - huh? I think you should swap "damaging" and "mainly"
  • "on the last week of July." - "during" might work better than "on".
  • "while east of the coast of northeast Mexico" - that's a little awkward. Why not say "east of Tamaulipas"?
  • "From the outset, its motion was hampered by that of Hurricane Flossie off the Pacific coast of Mexico" - poor start to a paragraph. You should say "the cyclone's" or something instead of "its". Also, was the motion really "hampered"? That sounds like a negative thing.
  • "at first. Deep convection fired up only gradually at first" - cut one of the "at first". Also, in that sentence, it doesn't seem like it took that long to strengthen. 18 hours as a TD isn't unusual.
    • Fixed--12george1 (talk) 16:36, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
      • But it didn't seem like it took that long to strengthen. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 00:21, 18 August 2012 (UTC)
  • "The track also shifted southward somewhat, shifting the threat from Texas into Mexico" - was the storm ever supposed to strike Texas? Also, remove one of the "shift"
  • Including the final sentence in the previous paragraph, you have consecutive sentences starting with "The storm". Liven it up a bit!
  • "Rains from Gabrielle flooded streets and destroyed bridges and highways in northern Mexico, which is an industrial capita" - a large region of Mexico is an industrial capital?
    • Removed "industrial capital"--12george1 (talk) 16:36, 17 August 2012 (UTC)
  • "The storm surge was also minor." - what else was minor to necessitate the "also"?
  • What caused the deaths?
  • "minor beach flooding took place at some of the beaches in the region" - no need to say "beach" twice.

All in all, pretty good. Just some minor things. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:19, 17 August 2012 (UTC)

Few more.
  • "Widespread rain amounts of four to six inches from Gabrielle. Gabrielle's rain came after a drought" - avoid consecutive "Gabrielle's"
  • Link UTC somewhere.
--♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 00:21, 18 August 2012 (UTC)