Talk:Turnin Me On

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Good article Turnin Me On has been listed as one of the Music good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
December 8, 2010 Good article nominee Listed

Heading[edit]

This page was titled Turnin' Me On, but the single release has no apostrophe. Just look at the single's picture with the title. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 66.233.4.135 (talk) 03:36, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:Turnin Me On/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: --CallMeNathanTalk2Me 04:23, 22 November 2010 (UTC)

Lead[edit]

  • American recording artist and songwriter -> American Singer-songwriter, hows this?
  • Hilson, Zachary Anson Wallace -> and
  • Following the minimal chart success of Hilson's worldwide lead single "Energy" in the United States, while international markets received "Return the Favor", the song was released as the third single in the US from her debut album In a Perfect World.... -> awkward
  • the previous stated songs -> previously, mentioned
  • flavored sound for the song due to wanting to keep to her roots -> ce
  • Although noting Hilson's less than stellar vocals on the track, critics praised Hilson's -> repetitive, try her
  • and Hilson being flaunted by men, which is intercut with mirror scenes with younger kids -> run-on, try making its won sentence
  • reaching fifteen -> number

Background[edit]

  • The an unmastered version -> remove "an"

Composition[edit]

  • and Hilson's vocals span from G3 to C5 -> doesn't connect to the first part of the sentence. Either fix wording or make own sentence
  • Barry Walters of Spin said, "the sassiness Hilson wears so well on her Lil Wayne–boosted hit, 'Turnin' Me On -> awkward. I read the actual review and it reads well, try and changing the sentence intro a bit
  • Sal Cinquemani of Slant Magazine commended the song, calling it "tight." -> source?
  • Jon Caramanica of The New York Times said called -> pick one
  • Mikael Wood of The Los Angeles Times called the song "impeccably arranged." -> source?
  • Additionally it was nominated for "Song of the Year" at the 2009 Soul Train Music Awards -> source?

Chart performance[edit]

  • and a twenty-five -> a?
  • Presumably Interscope has yet to apply for certification of any of Hilson's singles -> how is this verified by the source?

Music video[edit]

  • before the single was released for airplay or download -> can you tell us how long before?
  • The video begins is set -> re-write
  • Hilson is performs choreography -> re-write
  • continues to be flaunted and performs additional choreography -> mixing tenses
You can't really say continues to be "flaunts" so with "continue" and "performs" is ok I guess? Candyo32 - Merry CHRISTmas :) 15:39, 11 December 2010 (UTC)
  • black backdrop and on a couch -> reads run-on, consider removing or fitting better
  • The near the end -> re-write
  • shown performing Hilson and her dancers' moves, as the latter also continue to be flaunted by men -> wouldn't the latter be her dancers?
  • The video Hilson being turned off by men at a club -> re-write
  • said, "visual is pretty entertaining." -> visually, "its pretty entertaining"
Actually, by "visual" I assume the writer was referring to the music video, not calling the it visually entertaining. I see I forgot "the" so it should say "the visual is pretty entertaining..."Candyo32 - Merry CHRISTmas :) 15:39, 11 December 2010 (UTC)

Diss controversy[edit]

  • Long quotes don't bother me :p
  • Rumors began to fly once again -> they don't fly, circulate is better :p
    • Thats all Candy, let me know when your done. Nice work! :)--CallMeNathanTalk2Me 04:46, 8 December 2010 (UTC)

External links modified[edit]

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