Template:Did you know nominations/Jonatan Tollås

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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Allen3 talk 23:41, 11 October 2012 (UTC)

Jonatan Tollås[edit]

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Created/expanded by Roghue (talk). Self nom at 20:44, 30 September 2012 (UTC)

  • Length: More than the required fivefold prose expansion. Hook: Only 159 characters. This isn't really emphazing anything negative about him, especially given his public persona. So far as I can tell, nominator only has a few other DYKs and is exempt from the QPQ requirement. I'm AGFing on close paraphrasing given the language barrier. This looks good to go. Abyssal (talk) 16:06, 4 October 2012 (UTC)
  • The hook says Tollås was "reprimanded" for posting "crude photos": the article doesn't mention the reprimand at all, and only mentions a single nude photo. Since we're accepting the information on good faith due to Norwegian-language sources, article and hook must agree on the basic facts. BlueMoonset (talk) 15:20, 5 October 2012 (UTC)
  • I want to note that mention of the reprimand has since been added. As far as I can tell, the article only mentions one photo still. Abyssal (talk) 14:15, 8 October 2012 (UTC)
  • I think a slight rewording of the hook would help matters. Rather than "crude photos", why is it not simply "a nude photo"? That makes a more effective hook, and it's more accurate as well. The "reprimand" is a bit of a stretch (the article specifically says he was not given a formal warning over this), but the meeting was clearly called because of what he did to explain why it was over the line. The only thing left out (and it isn't needed) is that his promise was a joke promise. Although I do wonder whether "promise" is the correct word. Google Translate is not the best source—it's all I have to work with, not knowing Norwegian—but their translation is "the goal was to take a picture every day". If that's at all accurate, it wasn't really promise to upload but more of a plan to obtain (and he was joking about that). Maybe "responded by saying he planned to take one new such photo every day" would work? Or the more concise "responded with a plan to take a new photo every day"?
Note to Roghue: when you make article changes to address DYK issues, please note here that you've done so. It helps the process move more quickly, so your article can be featured in DYK sooner. Many thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 15:19, 8 October 2012 (UTC)
  • Here is an adjusted hook that I believe will satisfy both Bluemoonset and Roghue. Mentoz86 (talk) 16:31, 8 October 2012 (UTC)
ALT1 ... that after Norwegian footballer Jonatan Tollås posted a nude photo of a teammate on Twitter, he said that his goal was to upload one new photo every day?
  • I agree, that alternative hook looks much better.--Roghue 01:55, 9 October 2012 (UTC)
  • Thanks, Mentoz86. I'm fine with it, but the article should be adjusted to match (use "goal" rather than "promise"). Hook and article must agree on the facts. BlueMoonset (talk) 02:25, 9 October 2012 (UTC)
Article and hook adjusted --Roghue 08:25, 11 October 2012 (UTC)
  • ALT1 hook only is approved, now that article text has been reworded per above. (Note: I restored the original hook as it was, though it's now struck out, so it's clear what was being discussed above.) Good job, Roghue; thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 23:37, 11 October 2012 (UTC)
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