The Andrea Doria (Seinfeld)
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|"The Andrea Doria"|
|Directed by||Andy Ackerman|
|Written by||Spike Feresten|
|Original air date||December 19, 1996|
George is excited about the new apartment he is going to move into. Elaine is on a blind date, now called a "set-up." Jerry takes Kramer to his self-storage where they discover that Newman has been hiding bags of mail. George finds out he can't get his apartment because the tenant association is going to give it to an SS Andrea Doria survivor. Elaine is told her date won't be making it because he's been stabbed. Kramer's cough is getting worse and he's not going to the doctor (they botched his vasectomy in The Soul Mate and he's now more potent than ever). Jerry tries to get Newman to get rid of the mail; however, he's not interested because he didn't get the transfer to Hawaii, the most sought-after route for all postmen.
Kramer finds a dog with a cough, named Smuckers, and he takes him to the vet, so he can get medicine for their cough. Elaine meets her blind date who gets coffee thrown in his face from another ex-girlfriend. She discovers his problem is that he is a "bad breaker-upper." George confronts his rival for the apartment and decides to wage war. As Elaine breaks up with her blind date, he calls her "a big head." From a suggestion by Jerry, George asks for a hearing with the association and tells them the story of his life. Jerry forms "an alliance" with Newman that will hopefully get him out of his life forever. Jerry tries to get Kramer to take his medication.
He discovers that Kramer is taking dog medication and beginning to exhibit the signs of being a dog. The big head comment begins to hold true for Elaine (when a cab driver and a passer-by remark on it) and she decides to meet again with her blind date to show him she doesn't care about his comment, or to jam "a fork in his forehead." Jerry tries to take Kramer to a real doctor. After Kramer bites Newman's ankle, Jerry offers to deliver the rest of his mail, hoping to help Newman get his sought after transfer to Hawaii which is "our joint interest" as he tells Newman. Newman does not get the transfer to Hawaii, as the post office finds out that Newman wasn't delivering the mail himself, because too many people got their mail. Elaine meets up with her blind date and makes good on her promise, after the man says that she has a bump on her nose. Kramer saves the day. George tells his multiple misfortunes which makes the committee cry and he seems to be winning the case, but then Elaine's blind date who she stabbed gets the apartment instead. He got it, not because he was stabbed, but because he bribed the building's super. When George confronts him over this, the blind date calls him "chinless," and the episode ends with George rubbing his chin and looking perturbed.