The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon

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The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon
Directed by Richard Gale
Produced by Richard Gale
Written by Richard Gale
Starring Paul Clemens
Brian Rohan
Melissa Paladino
Mike Kacey
Fay Kato
Music by Christopher Brady
Cinematography Richard Gale
Release dates
2008
Running time
10 min.
Language English
Budget $600

The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon is a 10 minute film short that was released in 2008. It was filmed entirely in California over the course of 22 days. It was written, directed, and narrated by Richard Gale. The weapon referred to in the title is a spoon.[1]

The film won the Special Jury Prize at the Austin Fantastic Fest, the Best Short Film award at the Fantasia Film Festival, and the Citizen's Choice Award and the Grand Prize for Short Film at the Puchon International Fantastic Film Festival,[2] and was named the Best Short Film of 2009 by Rue Morgue Magazine.[3]

It was shot on a budget of $600, on a Panasonic HVX200 digital video camera and edited on Final Cut Pro.[4]

Plot[edit]

The movie itself is presented as being a trailer for a 9 hour long movie. It starts with a voice-over, telling the viewer that: "some murders take seconds; some murders take minutes; some murders take hours; this murder... will take years!".

The movie portrays the story of a forensic pathologist called Jack Cucchiaio (played by Paul Clemens; "cucchiaio" means spoon in Italian), who finds himself being haunted by a deranged looking man (Brian Rohan), who is, without any clear reason, hitting him with a spoon. No-one seems to believe this though as the mysterious attacker only shows up when Jack is alone. He is seen developing a phobia of spoons, stirring his coffee with a fork.

Jack attempts to defend himself - stabbing the murderer in the throat with a kitchen knife. But to Jack's surprise his enemy turns out to be immortal, pulling the knife out of his throat and throwing it away, then continuing to hit Jack with the spoon. However, in this scene Jack also notices a strange sign on the arm of his attacker.

Jack travels to the far East where he learns that his attacker is known as the Ginosaji, ("Silver spoon" in Japanese), an immortal and unstoppable being. After this, Jack is shown traveling around the world, trying to escape from the Ginosaji or to fight it. He uses various weapons, including dynamite, guns, and an RPG. Since the Ginosaji is immortal, however, he will always survive and find Jack again. The last scene shows a weakened, wounded Jack, crawling in the desert, with the Ginosaji still striking him with the spoon. Then, suddenly, the spoon breaks! However, Jack's final hope is brief as the Ginosaji opens his jacket and shows dozens of spoons. Finally, the title and credits are shown in typical trailer style.

Sequels[edit]

A sequel, Spoon Vs. Spoon was later released on YouTube, in which Jack takes on the advice of a viewer to fight back with another spoon, this unfortunately backfired as the Ginosaji took away Jack's other spoon, and mercilesly used the second spoon for double-hitting. The Ginosaji has since used dual weapons with two spoons.

Another Sequel, Save Jack was also released in the form of a game in which the player has to choose what Jack Cucchiaio should do, choices involving wearing protective clothing, using a giant magnet, giving it a hug or kicking it in the crotch. All of these choices backfired horrendously, making the situation more tormentingly difficult. The only one which almost succeeded was the magnet one. Unfortunately, the Ginosaji had a wooden spoon.

A third sequel was named Spoon Wars and featured a duel between Jack(as a Jedi and armed with a blue lightsaber) and the Ginosaji(as a Sith armed with a spoon). The Ginosaji's spoon seemed to be made of an anti-lightsaber alloy. The duel eventually ended in the water when Jack was killed and then woke up of the dream. At first he thought that the whole Ginosaji thing was a dream, but he was proven wrong when the Ginosaji attacked him again.

A fourth sequel, Ginosaji Vs. Ginosaji, featured Jack attempting to convince the Ginosaji not to attack him since he is another Ginosaji. Wearing make-up and a hoodie, Jack attacks another person with a spoon, but the person hits Jack instead and the Ginosaji is not convinced. An injured Jack tries to commit suicide by jumping in front of a bus, but instead gets attached to it and is dragged by the bus for a while. After getting loose, an insane old woman tries to kill him very slowly by hitting him with a cane whilst the Ginosaji also hits him with a spoon. Jack is knocked out as a passer-by tries to keep the old woman at bay, and finds himself in his 'Happy Place', where he meets the 'Happy Squirrel' who tries to motivate him. Jack then wakes up in a hospital where the nurse turns into the Ginosaji and chases Jack to the top of the hospital. Then, he attempts suicide by throwing himself off of the hospital roof. When he falls, he hits a fat woman who dies. After a year of recovering, Jack tries again to make up himself as the Ginosaji, but far more convincingly. The fight happens in the Gobi Desert, where Jack loses and tries to kill the Happy Squirrel.

At the end of the last video of Ginosaji vs Ginosaji, Richard Gale announces that there will be a real film of the story, which will be called GINOSAJI - The Horribly Slow Murderer With The Extremely Inefficient Weapon.

Feature film[edit]

Richard Gale confirmed, the feature film version.[5] The film will be Crowdfunded over Kickstarter by Gale.[6]

References[edit]

External links[edit]