The Kitchen Boys
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The Kitchen Boys is a recurring sketch on the comedy television show Saturday Night Live. It features two workers in an unnamed Italian restaurant named Marco and Carlo, portrayed by Dana Carvey and Adam Sandler, respectively. It is presumed that both Marco and Carlo are recent immigrants from Italy.
- Marco - a talented man who has held every position in the restaurant, he was an excellent chef until he was given Carlo to be his apprentice, which eventually got him demoted and fired. However, Marco is great friends with Carlo, despite the fact that Marco constantly hits Carlo for being an idiot. Marco has blonde hair and a thick Italian accent.
- Carlo - Marco's apprentice, whose constant screw-ups always get him and Marco demoted to dumber and more useless jobs in the restaurant. Despite the messes he gets Marco into, they are still good friends. Carlo has a light Italian accent and a squeaky voice.
- Mr. Vonucci - Marco and Carlo's boss in the restaurant, he appears at the end of the sketch to demote (or in the case of the Pepper Boys sketch, to fire) Marco and Carlo. Mr. Vonucci was portrayed by Michael McKean.
- Big Fat Bushy Beard Man - Like his name says, he has a big fat bushy beard, he appears in minor but important roles in every episode of this sketch. He is normally (with the exception of the Pepper Boys sketch) injured by Carlo and the injury caused on him normally gets Marco and Carlo demoted. Big Fat Bushy Beard Man was portrayed by Chris Farley.
At first Marco and Carlo work as chefs at the restaurant, Marco tries to teach Carlo how to cook a bowl of Calzone, but Marco spills the soup and then causes it to be served to a customer allergic to pasta, which makes the man vomit. When this happens, their boss demotes them to waiters.
Marco tells Carlo to be polite and compliment the customers when attending to them, which makes a nervous Carlo say "I love you!" to a nearby fat man, making him run off. An angry Marco tells Carlo to be polite but not that much, so Carlo starts kissing a nearby woman, Marco them slams his fists on Carlo and knocks him down where their boss enters and demotes them to valet parkers.
The Valet Parkers
Marco tells Carlo to catch the keys when he passes them to him, Carlo gets too nervous, accidentally drops the keys in a sewer. The customer tells them get the keys back, so Carlo pushes the man down the sewer. Then Marco tells Carl to drive the car slowly, but Carlo goes too fast and a clip is shown of Carlo crashing the car in the middle of a road against a speeding truck. Then Carlo returns and the man who fell in the sewer comes with their boss and gets Carlo and Marco demoted to pepper boys.
The Pepper Boys
Marco shows Carlo how to grind pepper using the pepper mill, and a woman kisses Marco because he's good at grinding pepper. Then Carlo offers a man pepper but, forgets to give it to him, when he is told he's forgotten something, he tries to kiss the man. Marco then grinds the pepper for the man exceedingly well (earning himself a $200 tip). Carlo then grinds pepper in a man's chocolate mousse. This is also the only sketch where Marco does not attack Carlo, rather, he says that he believes in him and simply admonishes him that "the man with the chocolate mousse, he does not want the pepper", and tells him to grind pepper for a couple eating chicken. Finally, for the first time ever, Carlo grinds the pepper well and manages for the first time ever get a job right. Their boss arrives and tells them he bought an electric pepper grinder for each table, that he doesn't need them any more and fires them. Marco tells Carlo that they will not be defeated and will work together to serve their own food. This leads Carlo and Marco to open their own restaurant.
Carlo and Marco's Restaurant
No episode is made about their restaurant, but at the end of The Pepper Boys sketch a caption is shown saying their restaurant was called "Fresh-A-Pepper" and every dish contained pepper, which became a success. Then Carlo died in 1993 due to "pepper lung," and Marco is still alive today and lives in a nursing home with walls made of oregano because they were out of pepper.
- Marco: No, no Carlo, you make de idiot thing!
- Carlo: But I'm nervous Senior Marco.
- Marco: Carlo the (whichever object is the key object to their job in that episode) is your friend, do not be afraid of the (the previously named object).