The Label Maker

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"The Label Maker"
Seinfeld episode
Episode no. Season 6
Episode 12
Directed by Andy Ackerman
Written by Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer
Production code 611
Original air date January 19, 1995
Guest appearance(s)
Episode chronology
← Previous
"The Switch"
Next →
"The Scofflaw"
List of Seinfeld episodes

"The Label Maker" is the 98th episode of NBC sitcom Seinfeld. This was the 12th episode for the sixth season. It aired on January 19, 1995.


Jerry has two tickets to the Super Bowl (on Sunday) but he cannot attend due to "the Drake's" wedding ("The Handicap Spot"). Jerry gives the tickets to Dr. Tim Whatley (Bryan Cranston). George has a new girlfriend, Bonnie (Jessica Tuck) and he is eager to go to her apartment. Elaine and Jerry suspect that Whatley is a "re-gifter" after Jerry receives the same label maker that Elaine gave Tim for Christmas. Kramer and Newman play an extended game of Risk. They leave the board in neutral country ("like Switzerland") at Jerry's apartment so that no one will tamper with the game.

George likes Bonnie's apartment, including a velvet couch. However, George immediately becomes upset because Bonnie has a male roommate named Scott who looks just like him. Kramer informs Jerry that the Drakes' wedding has been postponed because of the Super Bowl. George suggests Jerry to "de-gift" Tim Whatley the tickets. Newman stops by Jerry's apartment and tells him he will go to the Super Bowl with one of Whatley's tickets, which shocks and upsets Jerry.

George questions Bonnie about her behavior with Scott. Elaine dates Whatley in order to find out whether or not he really re-gifted her label maker; she wants to get in his apartment. Whatley takes away Newman's ticket and gives it to Elaine. Jerry and George suspect that, due to Elaine's behavior, Whatley invited her purely with the intent of seducing her.

George tries to wheedle Bonnie into getting Scott to move out, and is surprised when he succeeds, realizing with dismay that he is now the most responsible man in her life. Newman and Kramer continue their game in Jerry's apartment. As they play, Jerry, while talking to Whatley outside, notices that Kramer's car is being towed. Kramer runs out of the apartment and after the tow truck, taking the board with him so Newman won't cheat; Newman chases after Kramer to make sure he doesn't cheat.

Upon learning that Elaine does not intend to have sex with him on the Super Bowl trip, Whatley breaks up with Elaine and gives her ticket back to Jerry. Using Jerry's label maker to help Bonnie box up Scott's things, George discovers that all the things he liked about Bonnie's apartment, including the velvet couch and the television, belonged to Scott. Bonnie states they don't need them when they have each other, which makes George regret what he had done.

Taking their game to the subway while heading to the impound where Kramer's car is, Kramer is confident in his apparent victory over Newman, taunting him for having possession over the "weak" nation of Ukraine. A Ukrainian man standing next to them hears Kramer, is offended, and smashes the board.

Elaine uncovers Whatley's secret for re-gifting the label maker: it was defective because the label adhesive wasn't strong enough. Elaine, upset, tells him that she had given it to him to thank him for the dental work he had done on her, and they end up kissing passionately. The labels on Scott's boxes peel off on the mail truck, and as a result become property of the post office (much to Newman's delight).

At the Super Bowl, Jerry finds himself sitting next to Newman instead of Whatley. Newman shows off some of the items from the unmarked boxes ("Freebies!" he exclaims happily). Desperate to escape his relationship with Bonnie, George asks her if she is interested in ménage à trois ("The Switch"), hoping that she will be disgusted and dump him. Instead, George immediately discovers that both she and Scott are interested, leaving George visibly terrified just as Scott begins to advance on him.

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