The Library (Seinfeld)
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|Episode no.||Season 3|
|Directed by||Joshua White|
|Written by||Larry Charles|
|Original air date||October 16, 1991|
Jerry learns he has a library fine from 1971, for the book Tropic of Cancer. Jerry is convinced he returned the book, as he remembers the girl he was with that day, Sherry Becker, and her orange dress. Jerry goes down to the library to sort it out, bringing along Kramer. Jerry learns from the librarian that his "case" has been turned over to the library investigations officer, Lt. Bookman. George arrives at the library, and suspects that the homeless man on the steps outside is Mr. Heyman, a physical education teacher at Jerry and George's high school who always deliberately mispronounced his last name as "Can't-Stand-Ya". George reported Heyman for giving him a wedgie, which got him fired. Kramer flirts with the librarian, Marion, starting a forbidden love affair with her.
Bookman and Jerry argue in his apartment about whether Jerry returned the book or not. Jerry looks up Sherry Becker as a witness to his returning the book. He finds that she has a broader body type than he remembered, and has differing recollections of that day. She remembers that she wore a purple dress, not an orange one, and that the book they read to each other was Tropic of Capricorn, not Tropic of Cancer. Jerry then remembers that the book he returned to the library was Tropic of Capricorn and he actually loaned Tropic of Cancer to George.
Kramer and Marion are caught by Bookman cavorting in the library after hours. Elaine is concerned when a co-worker forgets to ask her what she wants for lunch, and it sets her to worry that Mr. Lippman is planning to fire her. Her fears are aggravated when Mr. Lippman asks to see her in his office. After she sees Kramer crying over Marion's poetry, she takes some of it, hoping to impress Lippman with a new literary find.
George confronts the man outside the library. When George jogs his memory by saying "Can't-Stand-Ya", Heyman gives him an atomic wedgie. Jerry asks George about the book. George remembers that he received his original wedgie from Heyman minutes after borrowing the book, and could not find it afterwards. Jerry reluctantly pays Mr. Bookman, who subjects Jerry to another lecture.
Elaine says that Mr. Lippman did not like Marion's poetry. Heyman is seen in an alleyway, muttering "Can't-Stand-Ya, Can't-Stand-Ya", with the dilapidated long-lost copy of Tropic of Cancer lying next to him.