The Non-Fat Yogurt
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|"The Non-Fat Yogurt"|
|Episode no.||Season 5
|Directed by||Tom Cherones|
|Written by||Larry David|
|Original air date||November 4, 1993|
Jerry, Elaine and George eat at a non-fat frozen yogurt shop in which Kramer has invested. The yogurt is delicious, and they (along with Newman) indulge, as it is "non-fat." When Kramer notices that Jerry and Elaine have gained weight, they become suspicious of the yogurt's contents. Elaine decides to send the yogurt to a laboratory for testing.
Meanwhile, Jerry accidentally uses the word "fuck" (which is censored) near the shop owner's son Matthew, who then starts to use the word frequently. When he tries to apologize, the boy ruins one of Jerry's cassette tapes, causing Jerry to curse yet again, this time using the words "fuck" and "shit" (which are, again, censored). Elaine's new beau and George's nemesis, Lloyd Braun, works as an aide to the mayor of New York City, David Dinkins, currently up for re-election against Rudy Giuliani. Elaine suggests that everyone in the city wear name tags, so that they can greet each other. Lloyd takes the idea to Dinkins, much to everyone else's ridicule. Braun eventually breaks up with Elaine; she claims that it is the fault of her weight gain from eating the yogurt.
George nudges a "we should get going" gesture with his arm, which Lloyd mistakes for a spasm. George plays along, and keeps faking the spasm whenever Lloyd is around or mentioned. When Dinkins gives Lloyd the option to George to go see a doctor, George does so, but the doctor thinks George is faking his spasm. George's spasm turns into a real one after banging the doctor's desk upon leaving, now worrying George.
Kramer, fearful of losing his investment, tries to sway a lab technician to falsify the analysis of the yogurt. In the process, they kiss passionately, and a sample of blood with high cholesterol falls into a test tube belonging to Rudy Giuliani. In the end, though, the lab reveals that the yogurt does, indeed, contain fat. Business plummets, especially when Giuliani receives the results of a physical claiming that he has high cholesterol. Giuliani reveals that he, too, has eaten a great deal of frozen yogurt lately, and vows to eliminate false advertising in the city. The yogurt shop now serves real non-fat yogurt which doesn't taste very good, leaving Newman furious and blaming Jerry and vowing to get back at him. The episode ends with the main characters watching Giuliani deliver his victory speech over Dinkins; the "name tag fiasco" cost him the election, leaving Elaine (unbeknownst to the others) embarrassingly upset and responsible. Matthew calls Jerry a "fat fuck" for ruining his father's business.
Kramer laughs at the idea of everyone wearing nametags, yet in the episode "The Kiss Hello" he proposed and executed a similar idea where everyone in their apartment building has a picture and name in the lobby so that everyone can say hi to everyone and be friendlier.
As the episode was to air just days after the 1993 New York City mayoral election, the production crew's solution was to produce two different versions of the episode: one in which Dinkins won, and another in which Giuliani won. The cast would record a line mentioning Dinkins, followed by the same line, with Dinkins' name substituted with Giuliani's. After Giuliani was declared the winner, the corresponding version aired on television. Giuliani's cameo was filmed on the morning after his victory. Both versions of the episode were included on the Season Five DVD.
If Dinkins had emerged as the winner, the character of Jackie Chiles, according to Seinfeld, might not have existed. As Dinkins declined to appear in person, actor Phil Morris, who was later cast as Chiles in the seventh season, was going to be used as a spokesman for Dinkins in this episode. The table reading for "The Non-Fat Yogurt" was held on October 20, 1993.