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|Directed by||David Owen Trainor|
|Written by||Carol Leifer & Marjorie Gross|
|Original air date||December 8, 1994|
"The Secretary" is the 95th episode of NBC sitcom Seinfeld. This was the ninth episode for the sixth season, and was the first to use Castle Rock Entertainment's new logo after its acquisition from Turner. It aired on December 8, 1994.
Jerry takes his mother's fur coat and his jacket to be dry cleaned. George is going to hire a secretary; he says he'll pass over attractive women so he can concentrate on his work. He hires Ada (Vicki Lewis), a very efficient secretary. Kramer is in need of moisturizer with ultraviolet light absorber. Elaine buys a dress on sale at Barneys because it looked great in their mirrors, but later it looks awful. She thinks they are using "skinny mirrors" which make people look thinner. She wants to return the dress.
Jerry, Elaine and Kramer go to the movies. Kramer meets Uma Thurman and writes her phone number on Jerry's dry cleaning ticket. Jerry thinks he saw Willie, the dry cleaner, wearing his jacket at the movies.
George and his secretary, Ada, feel attracted to each other and have sex at work. During sex, George accidentally screams, "I'm giving you a raise!" When George talks to Jerry about this problem, Jerry suggests George have sex with her again and "take it back".
Jerry confronts the dry cleaner about wearing his clothes and demands his mother's fur coat back. The dry cleaner hesitates, then asks for the ticket, but because Kramer has it, Jerry cannot pick up the coat.
At Barneys, Elaine and Kramer return the dress. Kramer buys the moisturizer he wants, and Elaine tries on another dress. At the store Kenny Bania (Steve Hytner) is looking for a new suit ("The Soup"); instead, he purchases Kramer's vintage suit for $300. George goes to talk to George Steinbrenner to give Ada the raise he promised. Kramer is left in his underwear in the women's dressing room. Elaine goes outside the store looking for an unbiased mirror.
Jerry arrives at Barneys and asks Kramer for the ticket; however, it was left in Kramer's trousers which are now in Bania's possession. Bania wants his money back because the suit he bought from Kramer is stained by the moisturizer. Jerry only cares about the ticket, so he agrees to pay Bania two meals in exchange for the ruined suit. However, both the dry cleaning ticket and Uma Thurman's phone number are washed out. Jerry spots Donna, the dry cleaner's wife, wearing his mother's fur coat.
Elaine is forced to buy the dress because she wore it outside the store. Kramer puts on Jerry's mother's fur coat over his underwear to leave the store. And Steinbrenner gave Ada a $25,000 raise, which makes her earnings greater than George's.
The final scene is at Mendy's restaurant, where Jerry and Bania are having a meal. Bania orders soup, then tells Jerry that he wrote down the telephone number from the ticket before it was washed out. He got a date with this "Uma", and hopes she is good-looking.