User:Epicgenius/474 things to do when you're bored

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Here's a list of 473 things to do when you're bored. Find the missing item. [1]
NOTE: This list is not to be taken seriously.

List[edit]


Wax the ceiling
Rearrange political campaign signs
Sharpen your teeth
Play Houdini with one of your siblings
Braid your dog's hair
Clean and polish your belly button
Water your dog...see if he grows
Wash a tree
Knight yourself
Name your child Edsel
Scare Stephen King
Give your cat a mohawk
Purr
Mow your carpet
Play Pat Boone records backwards
Vacuum your lawn
Sleep on a bed of nails
DON'T toss and turn
Boil ice cream
Run around in squares
Think of quadruple entendres
Speak in acronyms
Have your pillow X-rayed
Drink straight shots...of water
Prank the next door neightbor
Calmly have a nervous breakdown
Give your goldfish a perm
Fly a brick
Play tag...on West 35th Street
Exorcise a ghost
Exercise a ghost
Be blue
Be red
But don't be orange
Plant a shoe
Sweat
Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil
Turn
Write a letter to Plato
Mail it
Take your sofa for a walk
Start
Stop
Dial 911 and breathe heavily
Go to a funeral...tell jokes
Play the piano...with mittens on
Scheme
Sit
Stay
Water your family room
Cause a power failure
Roll over
Play dead
Find a witch
Burn her
Donate your brother's body to science
Ask why
Wriggle
Regress
Sleepwalk without sleeping
Try to join Hell's Angels by mail
Wonder
Be a square root
Ask stupid questions
Weld your car doors shut
Spew
Vacation at Three-Mile Island
Surf Ohio
Teach your pet rock to play dead
Go bowling for small game
Be a monk...for a day
Wear a sweatband to your wedding
Staple
Run away
Intimidate a piece of chalk
Abuse the plumbing
Bend a florescent light
Bend a brick
Annoy total strangers
Let the best man win
Believe in Santa Claus
Throw marshmallows against the wall
Hold an ice cube as long as possible
Adopt strange mannerisms
Blow up a balloon until it pops
Sing soft and sweet and clear
Sing loud and sour and gravely
Open everything
Balance a pencil on your nose
Pour milk in your shoes
Write graffiti under the rug
Embarrass yourself
Grind your teeth
Chew ice
Count your belly button
Sit in a row
Stack crumbs
Gesture
Save your toenail clippings
Make a pass at your blender
Punt
Make up words that start with X
Make oatmeal in the bathtub
Search for the Lost Chord
Chew on a sofa cushion
Sing a duet
Balance a pillow on your head
Hold your breath
Faint
Stretch
Flash your mailman
Teach your TA English
Learn to speak Farsi
Swear in Russian
Use an eraser until it goes away
Disassemble your car
Put it together inside out
Record your walls
Interview your feet
Make a list of your favorite fungi
Sell formaldehyde
Repeat
Ad lib
Fade
File your teeth
Whine
Rake your carpet
Reelect Richard Nixon
Critique "Three's Company"
Listen to a painting
Play with matches
Buff your cat
Race ferrets
Paint your house...Day-Glow Orange
Have a formal dinner at White Castle
Read Homer in the original Greek
Learn Greek
Change your mind
Change it back
Watch the sun...see if it moves
Build a pyramid
Stand on your head
Stand on someone else's head
Spit shine your Nikes
See how long you can stay awake
See how long you can sleep
Paint your teeth
Wear a salad
Speak with a forked tongue
Paint stripes on a lake
Ski Kansas
Sleep in freefall
Kill a Joule
Test thin ice...with a pogo stick
Apply for a unicorn hunting license
Do a good job
Crawl
Invite the Mansons over for dinner
Paint your windows
Watch a watch until it stops
Flash your goldfish
Paint
Flirt with an evergreen
Smile
Rotate your garden...daily
Paint a smile
Shoot a fire hydrant
Apologize to it
Pretend you're blind
Annoy yourself
Get mad at yourself
Stop speaking to yourself
Be a side effect
Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley
Duck
Redecorate...your garage
Develop a complex
Join the Army...be someone simple
Try harder
Hit the deck
Put leg warmers on your furniture
Cut the deck
Crumple
Translate Shakespeare into English
Skydive to church
Cheer up a potato
Do aerobic exercises...in your head
Play cards with your swimming pool
Pinstripe your driveway
Play Kick the Fire Hydrant
Harness chipmunk power
Build a house with ice cubes
Call London for a cab
Mug a stop sign
Change your name...daily
Go for a walk in your attic
Challenge your neighbor to a duel
Build a house out of toothpicks
Howl
Wear a lampshade on your head
Memorize the dictionary
Stomp grapes in the bathtub
Find a bug and chase it
Make yourself a pair of wings
Be immobile
Dance 'til you drop
Check under chairs for chewing gum
Squish a loaf of bread
Moo
Bounce a potato
Outmaneuver your shadow
Climb the walls
Appreciate everything
Challenge yourself to a duel
Make napalm
Tattoo your dresser
Watch a bowling ball
Buy some diapers
Eat everything
Begin
Pour milk in the sink
Make cottage cheese
Tie-dye your sheets
Carpet your ceiling
Hold your earlobes
Fold your earlobes
Flap
Squawk
Read tea leaves
Analyze the Koran
Be Buddha
Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize
Plug in the cat
Turn on everything
Drop pebbles down the chimney
Turn off your neighbor
Kill a plant
Buy a 1931 Almanac
Memorize the weather section
Think lewd thoughts about yourself
Blow bubbles
Send chills down your spine
Peel grapes
Make paper from the skins
Bloat
Catch them with your radiator
Get run over by a train of thought
Make up famous sayings
Bite your pinkie
Get your dog braces
Shave a shrub
Have a proton fight
Watch a car rust
Quiver
Rotate your carpet
Learn to type...with your toes
Set up your Christmas tree in April
Be someone special
Buy the Brooklyn Bridge
Mail it to a friend
Go back to square one
Factor your social security number
Take the fifth
Memorize a series of random numbers
Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages
Join the Foreign Legion
Learn Sanskrit
Exist...existentially, of course
Print counterfeit Confederate money
Kick a cabbage
Take a picture
Put it back
Sandpaper a mushroom
Play solitaire...for cash
Abuse your patio furniture
Run for Pope
Count to a million...fast
Make a schematic drawing...of a rock
Commit seppuku...with a paper knife
Revert
Think shallow thoughts
Starch your shoes
Polish your Calvin's
Contemplate a cockroach
Get a dog to chase your car
Let him catch it
Investigate the Czar
Form a political party
Climb a sidewalk
Have a political party
Get diagonal...with a good friend
Ride a loaf of bread
Sharpen a carrot
Interrogate a gerbil
Go bow hunting for Toyotas
Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids
Jump back
Play to lose
Scalp a street light
Have your car painted...plaid
Read a tomato
Sharpen your sleeping skills
Watch a game show...take notes
Put out a fire
If you can't find a fire, make one
Interview a cloud
Play tiddlywinks...go for blood
Play basketball...in a minefield
Don't talk to things
Draw Lewis structures on your ceiling
Have your cat bronzed
Have your gerbil gilded
Write books about writing books
Create random equations
Mispell words
Tell your feet a joke
Throw a tomato into a fan
Sing the ABC song backwards
Pretend you're a dog
Dial a prayer and argue with it
Grease the doorknobs
String up a room
Stack furniture
Relive fond memories
Tie your shoelaces together
Gargle
Count your teeth with your tongue
Decay
Find your half-life
Design a better toilet seat
Shred a newspaper
Have a headache
Scratch
Sniff
Hatch an egg
Play air guitar
Act profound
Spill
Spell
Stare
Truncate
Slouch
Develop hearing problems
Put your feet behind your head
Tie bows in everything
Hold your hand
Watch the minute hand move
Grow your fingernails
Pretend you're a telephone
Ring
Radiate
Skip
Play hopscotch...with real scotch
Clock the velocity of your REMs
Put your shoes on the opposite feet
Cross your toes
Roll your tongue
Crystallize
Baby oil the floor
Hide
Attack innocent bunnies
Declare war
Destroy a tree
Hide the scrabble bag
Seduce your stick shift
Wink
Memorize the periodic table
Mummify
Pretend you're a roadie
Buy a Ginsu knife
Collect electrons
Correct typos that aren't there
Polish your neck...use Pledge
Recopy the Bible substituting your name for God
Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car
Drop your cat off the roof to see if it lands on all four feet
Count the bags under Walter Mondale's eyes
Unscrew all the lightbulbs and rearrange the furniture
Found the Jim Jones School of Bartending
Listen for non
satanic messages (i.e. "Drink milk")
Dress like Motley Crue...surprise your grandmother
Dial
a
Prayer and tell them they're wrong
Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail
Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire
Make a drive
in window at your local bank where there wasn't one before
Walk on water...but don't get caught
Confess to a crime...that didn't happen
Be in the wrong place at the right time
Plot the overthrow of your local School Board
Request covert assistance from the CIA
Discover the source of the Mississippi
Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska
Hot wax the bottom of your brother's dress shoes
Preach the philosophy of Marx...Groucho, that is
Drink as much prune juice as you can
Write a book about your previous life
Serve ping
pong balls...as hors d'oeuvres
Jump up and down...on your alarm clock
Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins
Sterilize your stereo...with Jack Daniels
Carve you and your girlfriend's initials...in a marshmallow
Drive the speed limit...in your garage
Sing the national anthem...during your calculus final
Wear a three
piece suit...in a sauna
Pay off the national debt...with a bad check
Go to a cemetary and verbally abuse dead people
Give yourself a hernia...for Christmas
Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes
Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster
See if you really can build a nuclear device in your own basement
Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English
Write to your congressmen, senators, President, etc. to tell them what a good
job they're doing...On April 1st
Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor
Take apart all your major kitchen appliances...mix and match them
Turn your TV picture tube upside down
Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy
Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets
Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks
Be planar...but don't tell your parents
Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck
Make a deal with the devil...but keep your fingers crossed
Put instant concrete in your big brother's waterbed
Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese
Debate politics with a fern
See how small you can scrunch your face
Sell firewood door to door...in Atlantis
Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization)
Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation
Raise professional certified racing turnips
Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation
Lead an aerobics class...for patients of the I.C.U.
Go to a drive
in movie in a tank
Go to a non
drive
in movie in a tank and drive in anyway
Send President Reagan an alarm clock...wind it up first
Found a cockroach stable and stud ranch
Send your goldfish to obedience school
Free the oppressed toasters of America
Weave a tablecloth out of copper tubing
Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave
Park your car...with a friend
Park your car...with a group of friends
Frame your first statement of bankruptcy
Place it on the wall of your office
Solve the population problem (x^2 + y^2 = p...solve for x)
Contribute to the population problem
Wear a T-shirt that says "I'll walk on you to see The Who" and a peace sign
Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor
Find out who made the super glue commercials and give them your Ginsu knife
Get Ronco and K-tel to merge...they sell the same stuff anyway
Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night
Play with anything that looks interesting
Drop piston engines on two people and see who squishes first
See if your goldfish can live in Coors rather than water
Try to ignite water...the Mississippi might work
Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up
State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes")
Visit the Architecture building...loudly criticize its design
Make a schematic drawing...of a rock
Wallpaper your laundry room...with pages from books you don't like
See if diamonds really do cut glass...on everything in your neighbor's house
Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while
See how long you can stare at a fluorescent light...try green
Bronze your sister's turtle
See how long it takes for her to notice
See what she does when she notices
Bronze your sister. If you lose, stop watering it and try again.
Increase your territorial holdings by force
Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat
Boldly go where no man has gone before
Be a threat to the American way of life
Do research into the cause of World War III
Be a threat to the Northwestern Tibetan way of life
Reestablish the Roman Empire...in Pittsburgh

References[edit]