I am Jack Sparra, Wikipedia user and great fan of Captain Jack Sparrow.
I would like to note that, while I have been away, someone vandalized my page, replacing it with a statement that I was clearly an idiot. I don't know who he or she was, but he or she does. He or she knows, deep down, that they are the idiot, and a vandal to boot.
When all you have is stick, everything looks like a kneecap. Vlad Taltos