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I am not a smart-ass. I am just surrounded by dumb-asses.

Who Is Jessemckay?
RPG This user can program in AS/400 Report Program Generator.
System/36 BASIC-4 This user is an expert System/36 BASIC programmer.
System/36 FORTRAN-2 This user is an intermediate System/36 FORTRAN programmer.
System/36 COBOL-2 This user is an intermediate System/36 COBOL programmer.
System/36 RPG II-4 This user is an expert System/36 RPG II programmer.
Nuvola devices blockdevice.png User programs in VBA.

The user is a student of the Limbaugh Institute for Advanced Conservative Studies.
HeteroSym-pinkblue2.svg This user believes marriage is between one man and one woman.
African elephant (PSF).png This user supports the Republican Party of the United States.
Yellow ribbon.png This user supports the troops.
Romney1.JPG This user supports Mitt Romney in the 2008 Presidential Election.
George-W-Bush.jpeg This user supports President George W. Bush.
Iraq This user believes that there is still a cause in Iraq.
Blackhawk.jpg This user supports the troops in Iraq. Shotgun.jpg
LEGAL This user supports LEGAL Immigration.
Radiation warning symbol.svg This user supports the use of nuclear energy. Radiation warning symbol.svg
Skull-Icon.svg This user prefers that the death penalty be used far more often.
Seal of the United States Congress.svg This user believes that Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi ran the worst Congress ever.
GOP This user is a proud member of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy.

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Wikipedian since 31 July 2005
10+ This user has made more than 10 contributions to Wikipedia.
en This user is a native speaker of English.
♂ This user is male.
This user is of Scottish ancestry.
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This user maintains a blog.

Milk glass.jpg This user drinks milk.
ChessSet.jpg This user enjoys chess.
Letter Pi.svg
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Answer to Life.png This user knows the Ultimate Answer.
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IQ curve.svg This user is a statistician.
This user loves problem solving.
D This user reads Dilbert.
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United States of America.
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Butterfly rainbow colored.png This user uses MSN Hotmail as a primary email service.
Mrepacket.jpg This user has eaten MREs and lived to tell the tale.
Autumn Red peaches.jpg If they had their little way, this user would eat peaches every day.
CDC spinach1.jpg This user eats spinach.
Prime.jpg This user loves to eat beef.
Cocacola-1917.png This user prefers Coca-Cola over Pepsi.
ABS This user loves eating at Applebee's.
Nintendo-Entertainment-System-NES-Console-FL.jpg This user still enjoys playing
games on the NES.
GOP This user is Republican.

Nh-pluto-in-true-color 2x JPEG.jpg This user misses Pluto. May its planethood rest in peace.
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STAR WARS This user is a true Star Wars fan, and as one, doesn't have any problem with comparing the films to each other.
ORLY This user dislikes spin, keeps it pithy, and doesn't bloviate!
Flag of the United Kingdom.svg This user is of British ancestry.
Flag of Ireland.svg This user is of Irish ancestry.
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M This user is a member of Mensa.

I'm a newshound[edit]

I admit it. I always have to know what's going on in the world around me.

I am not a citizen of the world[edit]

I do not pledge allegiance to the planet on which I stand.

American citizen[edit]

I am an American and I have the long-form birth certificate.

Eligible to run for President[edit]

I am a natural-born citizen and I'm over 35.

Various rants[edit]

I can believe that it's not butter.

I don't want "hope and change." I want results and smaller government and if these dopes have to spend a trillion dollars, I want the biggest, best border fence on the whole darn planet. If I have to buy an eco-friendly vehicle that runs on sunshine and rainbows, well then, I want to drive a big super-cab truck that goes a hundred miles an hour and I want to haul a boat behind me while I'm doing it.

President Barack Obama[edit]

Barack Obama is not "change you can believe in." He is not a different Democrat. He is simply the single biggest advocate for expanded, empowered government in our time. Hey Barack, I can't believe it's not B.S.

A trillion dollar tax hike is impeachable on its face, because obviously government is both engaging in public theft and wasting the proceeds. A trillion dollar spending bill without a tax hike isn't just impeachable, it is a tremendous theft from the next generation. Grand, grand, grand, grand theft.

We've had three slices of the trillion-dollar Obama pie. It's time to put down the fork and call for the check.


Did you miss me? Did you miss me like you miss a friend, or did you miss me like, you threw a rock at me but you missed me?


Don't take a lesson from a moron.

Nothing is too simple. There's always someone out there who's even simpler.

How To Tell When Your Party Is Trying To Throw The Election[edit]

The Democrats tend to win elections when they run a closeted left-winger who is a complete unknown outside of his home state (Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama.)

The Republicans tend to win elections when they run a conservative who has served as the governor of a major state (Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush) or the (moderate but hawkish) sitting Vice-President (Richard Nixon, George H.W. Bush.)

When the Democrats want to lose an election, they put up a clueless Yankee liberal who has worked in government for his whole life (John Kerry, Walter Mondale, George McGovern.)

When the Republicans want to lose an election, they run a tired, old war hero with moderate views who has been sitting in the Senate for about a million years (Bob Dole, John McCain).

When the independents want to lose an election, they run Ralph Nader.