Warning: The following contains what some would consider HIGHLY controversial subjects, such as God, delieverance, and other things. If you are offended, don't bother reading past Life in the States.
The Life of Lil_Rebbitzen
Life before Saudi
Not much can be said before she moved to Saudi Arabia, since her memory goes back to the Arab country and no further. Lil_Rebbitzen, also known in real life as Cassandra, was born on May 15th, 1989, in Lexington, Kentucky, at what was then Humana Hospital. She lived in Kentucky for a year, then moved to Tennessee, living there for a year as well. It's unknown whether there were pets in the house to keep her company during this time, though there were pets before she was born (a lot, in fact. Several fish and birds.) It was during this time that she got her nickname "Ruggles" from her father. It's meaning? "Rug-type Rat", according to him.
Life during Saudi
Cassandra moved to Saudi from the age of about 3 (age not exact). During this time she attended both Preschool (She remembers her teacher being called Ms. Fairy, though that could be incorrect), and part of Kindergarten, which she still has the yearbook for. Her mother stayed at home to raise her, since women weren't allowed to drive, and had a cake making business, while her father worked for the airlines in Saudi Arabia. Because of the cheap tickets, she was able to go to several countries: France, England, Scotland, Ireland, Thailand, and Egypt. She learned basic skills a bit earlier than most children in the States these days, learning her alphabet at 3, and learning to read very shortly after. She also started to become a bit of a geek when she got a Sega for Christmas one year.
Life in the States
When she moved back to the States, her family stayed in Mississippi with her Maternal grandparents, during which time she finished Kindergarden and started 1st grade. Her father found a job in Georgia, so they moved there. She was in public school long enough to finish 1st grade, then she transferred to the private school system for 6 years. During this time, she was diagnosed with ADHD, and started taking meds for the condition. She developed a definite creative streak in 5th grade, when she started writing Pokemon fanfics, which she later developed into crossovers with other series, particularly The Legend of Zelda. It was also during this time she excelled in school, displaying a above-normal intelligence, and usually getting in the top 3 percentile in the nation, if not the top 2 percentile. In 7th grade, she was transferred to McConnell Middle, a Public school. During this time she found out that people that were different were not well tolerated. She made good grades, but suffered emotionally because of the berating she recieved from her classmates. She did, however, gain a friend she has to this day, Matthew. 8th grade turned out to be no better. She tried to gain friends, but ended up being made fun of and put down constantly. This only killed her self-esteem more. 9th grade came around, and she was placed in Homeschool. During 9th grade, she struggled to remain focused on schoolwork, but finished the grade nonetheless. During this time, she spent much of her free time writing stories, using her often elated mood as a means of random insanity.
The difficult years
The day she turned 15, Cassandra noticed she wasn't feeling as happy as much. She started to slip into depression for reasons she couldn't place. Even some treatments didn't work. The depression came to a climax when she almost attempted suicide. Around this time, she felt like a zombie, feeling nothing, physically, emotionally, and mentally. As she was about to slit her wrists, she felt a wind brush against her neck, and her reasoning came back to her. She firmly believes it was God turning her around. After the incident, she started seeking God fervently. She had been raised in a Christian home, but it had been an intellectual thing only. She met some friends at her church that helped her through the worst of the depression, which had turned into Spiritual depression (depression caused by a spirit under Satan), by performing a form of deliverance. The two men that helped her eventually became her youth leaders. After the deliverance, she experienced a spiritual boot camp, getting hit by the same type of spirit as the one that had almost gotten her to take her life, among others. It finally calmed down around August of 2005, but she still gets attacked given her position in her congregation (Messianic Minister's Daughter, also known as Pastor's Kid). Since then, she has been mostly working on the emotional and physical aspects of her depression, while working to catch up socially, mentally, and in her school work.
Cassandra is a smart, pretty, pleasant girl that has several interests. First and foremost, she has a love for the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob (aka the God of Christianity and Judaism). Second, she is loyal to her friends to the end, and as she's learned things about friendship, the loyalty to them has grown stronger. She enjoys video games, and is in general a geek, particularly for anything medievil, including fantasy novels, Fantasy games, and several other things.
She also enjoys anything to do with zombies, and likes to watch zombie movies, mostly to make fun of them. Despite this, she isn't good with blood, and can't stand the sight of bones, particularly teeth and vertebra.
Her current Video Game interests are games like Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken (Also known as: Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword, & FE7), Zelda, and Resident Evil. Her genre preferences are RPG, Strategy, Action/Adventure, & Weird (games like Trauma Center and Phoenix Wright.). She's currently trying to beat Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones, & Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance.
Her book interests include The Bible, Lord of the Rings, The Wheel of Time series, Christian psychology books, the Acorna series of books, and the Resident Evil books by S.D. Perry. She also likes to read controversial stuff like Godless by Ann Coulter.
Cassandra currently stands at 5'7".
She is currently working on a novel, possibly a series, which have some cameos from her fanfiction.
In addition to depression, she also suffers from low self-esteem, a bit of codependency, and, though she is called trustworthy by her friends, she has difficulty trusting others due to being hurt in the past.
She took herself off her ADHD meds, which apparently made her depression worse, after the almost attempted suicide. Since then, she refuses to go medications known to have depression as a side effect, no matter how small the percentile it could happen.
Her friends Mike and Steve figured out shortly after she turned 16 about her almost trying to kill herself from her responses to hearing or seeing anything associated with cutting, knives, and suicide. They've been helping her out ever since.
Other psychological things, this time not necessarily bad (though they can be used against her), include sensitivity and being an empath, and a passion to help others who are hurting. She also has a habit of getting extremely angry with people who have hurt her or her friends, though she is usually too softspoken and shy to tell them such.
Right now, she is catching up in school, and is working on several aspects of herself, like a lack of common sense (common in intelligent people), and not paying attention to things. She attends Congregation Beth Ha'Mashiach, where her father teaches. She is currently looking for more things to delve into so she can find more interests outside of something electronic.
Most of the time, Cassandra goes by Lil_Rebbitzen or Lil rebbitzen. She also goes by HoshikoHimura, HimuraHoshiko, Esther_luvs_giovanni (a fanfiction reference), and Esther_luvs_giovanni_4eva. She frequents Questionable Content, Dominic Deegan, Megatokyo, and several other comics, as well as going to her congregation's forums fairly often.
Her fanfiction can be viewed at Fanfiction.net, under the alias Princess Esther of Hyrule, and is currently Princess Esther of Hyrule 2 (due to a lost password).
--Ruggles Copyright 2006 Cassandra Bryars