User:NewEnglandYankee

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In the course of my editing, I have oft-times noted that the typical WikiVandal is, shall we say, "differently clued." (Big surprise, I know.) In the spirit of helpfulness, and to make my cleanup edits more enjoyable, I would like to offer a few simple tips for these aspiring Shakespeares.

1. Among grown-ups, the word "gay" is not by itself considered a smashingly devastating display of wit and eloquence.

2. If you still get thrills from looking up naughty words in the dictionary, try Wiktionary. Eventually you'll reach puberty, and the excitement will (hopefully) wear off.

3. Writing "Fred is cool!" or the equivalent instantly demonstrates beyond any doubt, to several million Wiki-users, that Fred is actually a simpering twerp.

4. If you persist, you'll be blocked. That means you won't be able to edit. You could achieve the exact same result by simply doing nothing! You might want to think about what it is in your creepy little subconscious that makes you desperately want/need to be actively forbidden to do something. Wikipedia is not a substitute for therapy.

More helpful hints when I can think of them ...

This user is apparently a puppet[edit]

According to this, I am "a puppet of the Guerilla Skepticism on Wikipedia movement". An actual Movement! I'm naturally flattered, but I have so many questions. Such as:

  • Is there a secret handshake? Do I at least get a membership card?
  • What if I had only barely registered the article content--do I still qualify?
  • What do I have to do to get promoted from "puppet" to "tool"?

If one of the shadowy Secret Masters of the Guerilla Skepticisim on Wikipedia Movement could get in touch with me, that would be great. Thanks.

Speaking as the leader of the shadow movement, you need to show up to more meetings if you want to learn the secret handshake, we keep sending you the quadrants and time/date for the meetings (via our normal channel - telepathy) but for some reason you continue to refuse to show up. That's three strikes and now you are out. I will leave your last payment from the illuminati in the usual place under the normal rock shaped like a G.Sgerbic (talk) 15:02, 2 April 2018 (UTC)
Oh, golly. I just checked my hippocampus, and I found all your messages sitting in the spam-folder neurons. I hope I get to at least keep the lapel pin and decoder ring. NewEnglandYankee (talk) 19:49, 2 April 2018 (UTC)
Sorry, NewEnglandYankee, there actually is as of yet no secret handshake. (Unless they just don't trust me with it yet.) But there ARE other perks of membership... like... like... Well, how about fame for starters? You might be selected to do a podcast promo for our team that will be heard by upwards of tens of other people! RobP (talk) 00:08, 3 April 2018 (UTC)
AHA! We always knew you guys were having secret meetings without us! We've been discussing it for years in the Paranoid Schizophrenics Society. —Dilidor (talk) 13:55, 1 August 2018 (UTC)
Sure, you say that now, after the fact. Can you document it, though? Is there independent evidence to that effect? I didn't think so. NewEnglandYankee (talk) 01:45, 2 August 2018 (UTC)

Thanks[edit]

Barnstar of Reversion2.png The RickK Anti-Vandalism Barnstar
Thanks for correcting my user page after the three continuous cases of vandalism. After looking over your talk page, it looks like you came to the rescue of more than one user's page, so in appreciation here is a barnstar for your excellent vandal fighting. Keep up the good work! Nehrams2020 07:07, 27 December 2006 (UTC)

Another Brain Star[edit]

Barnstar of Reversion2.png The RickK Anti-Vandalism Barnstar
Thank-you for reverting massive amounts of vandalism. I noticed this after you fixed Miles "Tails" Prower. I decided to look into your editing history and found out that the last 100 or so contributions were just vandal reverting. Keep up the good work! Sincerely, Sir Intellegence - smartr tahn eaver!!!! 22:56, 7 September 2007 (UTC)

RickK Anti-Vandalism Barnstar[edit]

Barnstar of Reversion2.png The RickK Anti-Vandalism Barnstar
Thanks for reverting the vandalism on my userpage. :-) Lradrama 18:10, 28 November 2007 (UTC)

A barnstar for you![edit]

Original Barnstar Hires.png The Original Barnstar
Understood, regarding 4chan. I am sorry about that edit. Tejas Ramakrishnan (talk) 05:21, 7 February 2016 (UTC)

Barnstar[edit]

Original Barnstar.png The Original Barnstar
This is for reverting the vandalism on my userpage.

Thank you very much! MelicansMatkin (talk, contributions) 21:45, 23 November 2009 (UTC)

A barnstar for you![edit]

Userpage Protection Barnstar.PNG The Userpage Shield
For having my back and reverting the vandalism on my user page. Thank you for watching me!

Ira Leviton (talk) 18:19, 1 July 2018 (UTC)