User:NewEnglandYankee

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In the course of my editing, I have oft-times noted that the typical WikiVandal is, shall we say, "differently clued." (Big surprise, I know.) In the spirit of helpfulness, and to make my cleanup edits more enjoyable, I would like to offer a few simple tips for these aspiring Shakespeares.

1. Among grown-ups, the word "gay" is not by itself considered a smashingly devastating display of wit and eloquence.

2. If you still get thrills from looking up naughty words in the dictionary, try Wiktionary. Eventually you'll reach puberty, and the excitement will (hopefully) wear off.

3. Writing "Fred is cool!" or the equivalent instantly demonstrates beyond any doubt, to several million Wiki-users, that Fred is actually a simpering twerp.

4. If you persist, you'll be blocked. That means you won't be able to edit. You could achieve the exact same result by simply doing nothing! You might want to think about what it is in your creepy little subconscious that makes you desperately want/need to be actively forbidden to do something. Wikipedia is not a substitute for therapy.

More helpful hints when I can think of them ...

This user is apparently a puppet[edit]

According to this, I am "a puppet of the Guerilla Skepticism on Wikipedia movement". An actual Movement! I'm naturally flattered, but I have so many questions. Such as:

  • Is there a secret handshake? Do I at least get a membership card?
  • What if I had only barely registered the article content--do I still qualify?
  • What do I have to do to get promoted from "puppet" to "tool"?

If one of the shadowy Secret Masters of the Guerilla Skepticisim on Wikipedia Movement could get in touch with me, that would be great. Thanks.