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Okay, where do I begin?

Should I adopt an encyclopedic format, or shall I simply spout from the keyboard (a 1987 IBM Type M, I must add)?

I was born in 1974 in Cardiff, Wales to Canadian parents who moved shortly thereafter to Montreal. My father is a ship's captain, my mother was a registered nurse. If I'd had a choice of where to be born, it would have been anywhere in the United States, not some sheep-shit-soaked place which can't even figure out what kind of outlets to have on their baseboards (just look at the myriad electrical "standards" in Europe!). I have European citizenship as well as Canadian - but since childhood I've identified more with, and highly admired, American do-it-yourself spirit.

Scholastically, I am a "gifted underachiever"; as such I am stereotypically fascinated with any knowledge specifically NOT connected to any current academic undertaking. I cannot rationalize such behavior; it is idiotic and counterproductive yet it is a fundamental part of my makeup. I am a compulsive reader known for accidentally destroying books by attempting to read them in the shower, yet I have a hard time focusing on materials relevant to me. Classic ADD, though I consider it to be a blessing rather than a curse - it keeps me original and out-of-the-box.

I am a muscle car enthusiast, antique radio and television collector and restorer, and "mature" (note the quotes) electrical engineering student at a prominent Ottawa university. Prior to the recession of 2001, I worked for Litton, where I designed radar equipment despite being the sole member of my design team who lacked an iron ring.

I am a homosexual. I did not choose to be gay; no rational person would - after all, who would want to be part of a feared and hated minority? I know I didn't choose what turns me on anymore than a leg man or a breast man chose to be a leg man or a breast man!

Having been born in Wales where circumcision isn't routine, I sought out circumcision as an adult, and I love being circumcised - the singular negative that I've encountered is rejection from gay men who find foreskin attractive. On the other hand, most gay men (and women - yes, I have slept with women) find circumcised men more attractive. I consented to circumcision with videotaping (faceless); videos before, during and after remain readily available on the Internet, even a decade later! I am very much an advocate of circumcision - man did not evolve wearing pants, and clothing turns the foreskin into a liability - so I am willing to entertain questions on the subject. I remain grateful to a certain doctor, a noted (though misguided) anticircumcision advocate, for my daily enjoyment of my unit.

I love primitive technology and I have a great deal of experience with much of it. I have over 20 years of experience (yes, I was ten years old!) repairing, collecting, and restoring old radio and television receivers. I love old cars. And whatever the machine, from a flashlight to a CANDU nuclear reactor (which I have also worked on!) I think nothing of whipping out my Craftsman combination wrench and seeing if I can fix or improve it.

My style is Art Deco. My car is a 1974 Plymouth Valiant. My washing machine is a 1954 Maytag. My computer is a TI-99/4A, though I run Linux on a Wintel box for competitive reasons. My personality is analytical and introverted, though I am very good at pretending to be social - so good that I can work at Home Depot part time while I finish my degree. Nebulous as I may appear to be, I am a fan of David Lynch and Stanley Kubrick. Do they help explain me? If not, cope.

I have four great addictions which I am working to resolve: The Internet, The Howard Stern Show, ethanol and nicotine. Thus far, I have been only mildly successful despite mounting personal and extreme financial pressures - I yearn for at least a month without any of these stimuli, but I remain very concerned that my e-mail in box (Mozilla Thunderbird) will contain at least a few things to make me think of Baba Booey.

And guys - my taste in men is 1972 to legal, intelligent, rational, and hot. Celebs I've never met? Jeremy Miller, Omri Katz, Scott Mechlowicz and Danny Pintauro are my personal faves, most dating back to my teenage heartthrob realizations of the late 1980s. If you're intelligent, cute and cut, you're probably in - but my sainted Martin will first have to vet your qualifications in keeping me warm these cold Ottawa nights. (Warning: Martin has veto power.)