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What can I say? Zero's great. He taught me everything I know. It's amazing what a person can teach to their fingertips.

I have been a Wikipedier since about February 2005. I don't edit that much, only about 9 millionths of an edit per second. I'm also, believe it or not, a Math major. My Wiki-ing has been rather slow lately, though I keep my eye on certain articles (WoW, WinVI, and Wii, the Big Three Double Vee).

Some of my featured articles include...

Note that these are not featured articles, but articles that I've put work into where others haven't. And other people have put work into the Smash Bros. page, except it was adding fan speculation that just simply doesn't belong. Seriously, folks. Sonic and Tails are not owned or even liscensed Nintendo characters, they will not be in the game. And Toadsworth? WTF, man?

I currently attend Memorial University of Newfoundland, in St. John's, though I attended Sir Wilfred Grenfell College in Corner Brook, my hometown, for the past two years. If I wanted to, I could revamp the last two articles as well. But ask yourself: do I want to?


Since I've had several people complement me on this image, here's how I made it.

I ripped maps of Liberty, Vice, and San Andreas right out of their respective gta3.img files. I picked three roads that were straight north-south or east-west. I picked the road that crosses Callahan Bridge, the road that crosses Starfish Island, and the freeway that goes from Whetstone through San Fierro and into Terra Robada, south of Wang's Autos. I measured the distance that each covered in-game (using the "Distance Travelled by Car" stat), and the pixelwidth in the map. Once I got the meters/pixel resolution, I resized them accordingly. The first time I did it, Liberty City came out radically large, so I redid the LC measurements using the GTA:LC total conversion mod for Vice City, which put LC's size on par with VC. Thus I will 100% guarantee you that that's how big LC and VC are in relation to each other. Considering how much I've played all three games, I can give you a 95% guarantee that the VC and SA maps are on the same scale (though technically they may have used different scales ingame for distances, I'm assuming they don't). I thank you who have already complemented me, and as well to others who like it! Feel free to comment on my talk page.

If you would like some statistics, I figured out that...

  • Liberty City, including Portland, Staunton Island, Shoreside Vale, northern highways & towns, and water inside city limits to East, West, and South: 15.6 sq. km or 6.0 sq. mi.
  • Vice City, including East & West islands and water inside city limits to East and North: 15.2 sq. km or 5.9 sq. mi.
  • San Andreas, including Los Santos, Red County, Flint County, Whetsone, San Fierro, Tierra Robada, Bone County, Las Venturas, and all bays and harbours contained within their limits: 36.5 sq. km or 14.1 sq. mi.

Note that these numbers include the entire radar images, which I had cropped to make them all fit together.

Single Woman[edit]

This is an article I wrote for Uncyclopedia, but was deemed to have no redeeming value. I include it here for archival purposes, as it was well-liked among those who read it.

The Single Woman is the primary goddess of the Nerds. Members of the race begin to devout their entire lives towards discovering the Single Woman at approximately age 40. However, most Nerds at this age are fat, overweight, and obese, making the Single Woman a very hard thing to find, and many Nerds will die of self-induced sexual exhaustion before completing the search, usually before the tender age of 50. In some countries, such as the Dominion of Newfoundland, Easter is dedicated to the memory of the fallen Nerds.