User talk:The Lady Catherine de Burgh

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The Lady Catherine de Burgh On a better day

Rollback[edit]

Dear Lady Catherine (or, as I may again call you, mrs Rollbacker), welcome back to us! I noticed that you had apparently mislaid your rollback rights somewhere in the Alps or the Carribbean. I have reinstated them. Enjoy, and remember to only use the feature for obvious vandalism (not for the merely distasteful or middleclass). Bishonen | talk 23:08, 13 January 2013 (UTC).

Editor of the Week[edit]

As you so Royally observed at User:Wetmans page, your exalted status and buldging Trophy Case exclude you from consideration for this Award. It is designed to reward the common folk for their hard and dillegent efforts on behalf of The Encyclopedia. I ask your leave, dear Lady.....```Buster Seven Talk 15:42, 17 February 2013 (UTC)

  • I so admire projects that are "pour l'encouragement des autres" and am happy to lend my name and patronage to such schemes. May I say how nice it is to see such a nice, well brought up young man on my page; Wikipdia needs more like you - you should stand for Arbcom; one can't help feeling the present members (apart from poor, little Mrs Risker who's Canadian!) are rather 'infra dignitatem' - I appoint them you know, but I'm very constitutional; the whole world seems rather dumbed down these days and lacking in finesse. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 17:29, 17 February 2013 (UTC)

I am honored[edit]

Lady Catherine, I am most honored and humbled that you have taken note of me. I greatly thank you for having not only read what I have posted, but to take your most valuable time to respond to me. You are of course very correct that I expressed myself poorly in regards to my thoughts of your nephew Giano. What I should have expressed is that Giano appears to disagree with some of the "posts" that Andy has made, and I very incorrectly posted that it was a dislike for a "person". I do thank you for very kindly reminding me of facts without chastising me in a fashion which I must admit that I likely deserved. <bows respectfully> — Ched :  ?  20:01, 25 July 2013 (UTC)

Congratulations[edit]

[1] on the birth of your....Nephew? You Royals are so photogenic. <bows respectfully> - ```Buster Seven Talk 20:11, 25 July 2013 (UTC)

Indeed we are. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 21:14, 3 August 2013 (UTC)

Talkback[edit]

Nuvola apps edu languages.svg
Hello, The Lady Catherine de Burgh. You have new messages at User talk:The Lady Catherine de Burgh/A fool's guide to the 2013 Arbcom election.
Message added 16:52, 22 November 2013 (UTC). You can remove this notice at any time by removing the {{Talkback}} or {{Tb}} template.

GregJackP Boomer! 16:52, 22 November 2013 (UTC)

The Seasons Felicitations[edit]

The only thing I have missed as regards Wikipedia are some of the people. You are one of them. Have a delicious 2014. LessHeard vanU (talk) 01:24, 27 December 2013 (UTC)

Oh dear, sweet Bishzilla how very kind of you to leave your basket to come here, and Mr LessHeard vanU to leave his humble, little, white washed cottage (I was so afeared it may have been swept over the cliffs in those dreadful English storms); I'm sure that I'm completely undeserving of so much attention - people so often avoid the elderly, weak and defenseless at Yuletide, leaving them to starve and die of cold in their damp garrets. However, none of them has suffered as much as I this Christmas: In my absence, Scrotum Towers has been bugled by art thieves - who left empty handed, my butler has drunk the cellar (so famously haunted by a blue nun) dry, and my maid has absconded with my second best parure. Consequently, I've been forced to spent the period amongst alien Catholics in Sicily - some ghastly little priest invited me to confess on Christmas Eve - confess to what? Never apologise and never admit; that's my motto, and it goes for God too. Darlingest, wonderful Giano was sweet to invite me to Palazzo Splendido for the duration, but really! The children are out of control, and I suspect his wife has a drink problem (whenever I approached, she reached for a decanter in a most threatening manner). So, I appreciate those few loyal friends that I have remaining coming here to my frail bedside. I note that not one of the new Arbs has been here to kiss my hand on appointment - a grave mistake! A happy New Year to you all. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 19:08, 29 December 2013 (UTC)

Jimbo is a putz[edit]

Commenting at Jumbos page seems to be beneath your dignity my dear lady....just sayin.--MONGO 20:55, 5 February 2014 (UTC)

Oh don't be such a snob MONGO; you won't get very far in life if you only speak to your peers. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 07:54, 6 February 2014 (UTC)

An honour, Milady[edit]

Dearest Lady Catherine,

The celebrated Crown of Ertholmene

I am honoured to formally extend thanks to you for your unflappable service to the project and steadfast defense of the people who strengthen it. I am very pleased to offer you the crown of Ertholmene as a testament to your triumph. Tillykke, grand Lady.
Yours Faithfully,
Duke Olav Otterson of Bornholm (talk) 21:25, 5 March 2014 (UTC)

Marie Lloyd[edit]

Dear Lady, Marie Lloyd is featured on the Wikipedia home page today. Isn't she one of your relatives? I notice a slight resemblance. Jehochman Talk 12:23, 18 June 2014 (UTC)

Oh My dear Mr Jehochman how sweet of you to think of me; I'm afraid I missed your message in June; one has been rather busy of late: Queens, Wimbers, Henley, and Ascot, and then I took a small party of 36 cruising on my yacht in the Med. I'm afraid you are mistaken, Ms LLoyd was not a lady, and proved that by placing an unbecoming emphasis on 'Come' whilst singing Come into the Garden Maud - a charming little ditty sung quite innocently by my late mother while sitting at the piano forte. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 19:57, 4 August 2014 (UTC)

Her Ladyship's dearest companions[edit]

Crippen, that most faithful of hounds, for 13 years the defender and constant companion of the Lady Catherine de Burgh
Nordica, the newest addition to the pekingese pack of the Lady Catherine de Burgh; presented by Hafspajen, whom Her Ladyship graciousy thanks.
Bishonen, visiting

Not her au pair[edit]

I am now going into a cloister and pour ashes on the surroundings

Do you mind, Hafspajen? That's admittedly a striking portrait of me, but I'm bloody well not her au pair or dogminder! Just a friend! Bishonen | talk 13:03, 6 March 2015 (UTC).

Mrs Bishonen, may I please request that you do not use profane language on her Ladyship's page. As a matter of fact Her Ladyship has a perfectly good au pair boy, Nombego, who she imported personally and privately from from outside the EEC. The household also already has a dog walker, Flavio, who also attends to any other animal needs which her Ladyship may have. So if you are hinting that you would like a position here, I'm afraid that won't be possible. However, Her Ladyship will retain the delightful portrait of you her, as it it puts her in mind of her late grandmother, the Dowager Duchess of Berkshire, in extreme old age. Vera Corpus (Miss) (talk) 13:49, 6 March 2015 (UTC)
  • Running all the way to excuse myself: I beg the forgiveness of Lady Catherine and Bishonen and I am truly sorry for being so presumptuous... Hafspajen (talk) 14:03, 6 March 2015 (UTC)
Hereby I present her ladyship with a new gown for the next Nobel dinner . Hafspajen (talk) 14:55, 6 March 2015 (UTC)
The New Dress
Ludwig II portrait by Gabriel Schachinger.jpg
Richard Wagner silhouette Otto Böhler
You may change the lead pic to this, if she looks too good..... Hafspajen (talk) 15:30, 7 March 2015 (UTC)
  • No Mr Hafspajen , we shall leave that very honest and truthful portrait of me exactly where it is!"; as you will see from my very perceptive and honest Wikipedia biography, I have always been known for my exceptional beauty. I say that with no false modesty; it has not been an easy life, being the object of desire of so many lustful, but fortunately very rich men. I see it as my duty to soldier on doing what little I can to represent the downtrodden of Wikipedia. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 18:38, 7 March 2015 (UTC)
Well, that's a relief, I mean that the men vere rich. What would one do with an uneducated and miser tölp's love? Hafspajen (talk) 18:45, 7 March 2015 (UTC)
As King of Sweden now I graciously present you with this charming portrait of my little cousin, Ludde... Hafspajen (talk) 19:09, 8 March 2015 (UTC)
  • You are clearly not the King of Sweden! I'll have you know that His Majesty (or CG16 as I affectionately call him) is a very close and dear personal friend! Furthermore, do you presume that I am the sort of woman who would be impressed by a man who who's interpretation of architecture are poor and very uninspiring pastiches? Not to mention his obsession with Wagner! In my experience men like Ludwig and Wagner were all noise and trumpets with very little action. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 19:41, 8 March 2015 (UTC)
Oh, my dear, I am. Incognito, of course. It is a great secret I am giving you, I and trust you to keep it secret... think bad spellig, it's me ...Hafspajen (talk) 19:45, 8 March 2015 (UTC)
Mylady, what is Wrong With Wagner? Red link, you see? Hafspajen (talk) 19:46, 8 March 2015 (UTC)
  • My dear, dear Mr Hafspajen, how can you possibly ask that? You are so obviously a person of huge refinement and taste, almost as refined and tasteful as myself, but Wagner is so ostentatious, all that noise, one can only conclude "Monsieur Wagner a de beaux moments, mais de mauvais quart d'heures." However, Wagner also brings back sad memories for me; it was during a performance of Der Ring des Nibelungen that my third husband expired - we were alone in our box at La Scala, and I had been softly humming along with the tunes for the first two hours, when he was suddenly overcome by apoplexy and jumped to his death in the auditorium below - these things are not lightly forgotten. I take some comfort from knowing that he died with my softly lilting voice in his ear. How many men can say that? The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 18:17, 9 March 2015 (UTC)
  • OH, how terribly upsetting, my gracious Mylady. I am truly sorry. However one can always find an other husband, especially a stunning Lady like yourself, of refined splendours and infinite charm. And variety is the delight of life. However don't take them to more Wagner concerts - it's not healty for them, obviously.... Hafspajen (talk) 18:23, 9 March 2015 (UTC)

I gotta be me[edit]

Perhaps you are the only one to fully understand the burden of our births, Lady. You as a peeress, and I from pioneer women. Here is one of my great-grandmothers. I will introduce you to others as time permits. The axe is a family heirloom that I keep framed above my monitor to help me focus as I edit. Lightbreather (talk) 01:00, 8 March 2015 (UTC)

Nana Nation on her way to the tavern - or church - I can't remember which. (BTW, we wear our handbags the same way.)
  • My dear, dear Mrs Lightbreather, I can feel an empathy between us reaching out crossing the airwaves and Atlantic. My family too were pioneers; my maternal grandfather, the 9th Duke of Berkshire (a hero of his age), suffered huge hardships pioneering all the way to the USA aboard the Mauretania, but unfortunately due to prohibition decided to pioneer his way back again toute suite. I can see from the charming portrait of your great grandmother (how fortuitous to know your ancestors in a day and age when so few seem to know their own fathers) what a charming woman she must have been. I do hope you've inherited her fine bone structure and countenance. I'm totally at one with your crusade; I've had a few husbands in my time and generally they are only good for one thing - and they are seldom always good at that. I can see from your grandmother's photograph that she probably had had similar disappointing experiences - one wonders what she was planning to do with that hatchet - was he husband a philanderer? Now, I must go and check on a Good Article page, you may care to review it yourself - it's concens my late racehorse trainer - a most remarkable woman, Florence Nagle. she was a total inspiration to all womankind. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 11:19, 8 March 2015 (UTC)

Mothers in law[edit]

"He's not the President, he's a very naughty boy."

My Lady (or should I call you "ma'am"?), I don't believe we have met, though I have had enjoyable conversations with your nephew Giano over the striking characters one can find in the local golf club ... anyway, I was surprised to see high-flying socialite and mother in law from hell Sara Delano Roosevelt tagged for speedy deletion the other day, and though I'd better do some work to save it. Did you know she made her son, Franklin wear dresses and grow his hair long as a toddler, and insisted on moving in next door to him and Eleanor with connecting doors so she could spy on everyone? Now that's a determined mother in law. One may speculate he only became President and moved to the White House to get a bit of peace and quiet. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 12:33, 21 March 2015 (UTC)

AARR..Hafspajen runs away. NOOO; noo mothers in laws ...God save us... (call me when she's gone) Hafspajen (talk) 08:13, 24 March 2015 (UTC)
Naughty

No-nonsense hotel management[edit]

M'lady, I feel we are living in sad times when people want to speedy delete such distinguished eccentrics as Ruth Guler. Here is a woman who enjoyed her skiing with the upper class sect, frequented a Royal Wedding or two, and was overjoyed to present herself at Royal Ascot on many on occasion. Yet against this cheerful, enjoyable exterior clearly beat the heart of a ruthless, sadistic battleaxe who thought nothing of throwing drunken guests out into the cold and expressing complete utter indigence at a bunch of newly weds wanting to share a bed! I mean, people who go to ski should be ski-ing, not procreating. Honestly, what is the youth of today coming to? I don't suppose you ever had the fortune to socialise with her on your numerous winter skiing trips, did you? Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:11, 16 April 2015 (UTC)

I'm afraid that Ruth (God rest her poor soul) was not one of my favourite people. I knew her well and did not care for her. I do dislike a social climber and poor, dear Ruth obviously practiced her climbing on her local very large mountains. When I stayed at her rather basic pension, I found her insubordinate and having ideas above her station; the poor dear Prince of Wales may find that amusing, I do not. However, one mustn't speak of ill of the dead and apart from that i found her perfectly pleasant. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 07:23, 23 April 2015 (UTC)

Stressful[edit]

My dear Lady Catherine....I have located a quaint but lovely place for you to relax during this stressful situation whereby others mock you as a well, as a less than legitimate editor here. Those that are unfamiliar with your work which you dictate to your numerous secretaries (typing is surely not the sort of thing a lady of your stature lowers herself to of course) surely should be publically shamed and an apology should be presented forthwith.--MONGO 09:11, 27 November 2015 (UTC)

How sweet of you dear boy, it quite reminds me of the Hill Club and Simla when dear old Dickie Mountbatten was Viceroy, what a dancer he was (among other things), one hasn't lived until one's jitterbugged with a peer. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 11:08, 27 November 2015 (UTC)
Quaint but inviting...tea as you wish.

In gratitude[edit]

Just a note to let Your Gracious Highness know that I've filched some of your images [2]. Perchance you will dally at the Museums. EEng (talk) 04:06, 28 November 2015 (UTC)

Pictionary time![edit]

Nothing personal I assure you, but

of yours 210.177.144.130 (talk) 13:24, 3 December 2015 (UTC)

Oh that's very clever, it must have taken you such a long time, it really deserve to seen and admired. Now, let me see if I can decipher it - I just adore puzzles, it's because I'm so perceptive I suppose: Now, it most definitely says: "You have eagle eyes for cloven hoofed people and twisted plots, while simultaneously providing massive entertainment with an ability to cool every situation." That really is so sweet of you, and I can but agree. I can see now, I really should have stood for the election; thank you so much for your support. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 18:09, 3 December 2015 (UTC)

Hawk eyes, my dear, hawk eyes. (I do hope you've had time to visit the Museums). EEng (talk) 19:06, 3 December 2015 (UTC)
  • It occurs to me that perhaps your correspondent should have written:

EEng (talk) 20:07, 3 December 2015 (UTC)

  • Never mistake vulgarity for wit Mr EEng! However, I'm quite glad you at least had some subtlety. Sometimes when using pictures, people can be a little too obvious. 21:31, 3 December 2015 (UTC)
  • You know, I just thought of a more generous interpretation of your anonymous correspondent's original communication i.e. he (or she) may be trying to tell you that, though still a "porker", he (or she) has managed to lose some weight, and is therefore no longer a "massive" fan. What do you think? EEng (talk) 20:05, 4 December 2015 (UTC)
  • I suspect that your original interpretation was correct. I never comment on people's weights; it's so unkind. While, naturally, weight has never been a problem to me (a healthy diet maintains a healthy mind), one must think of all these silly girls who starve themselves to be super models, and then no man wants to marry them because they look so unhealthy. Mind you, I blame the model agencies and the stupid women who buy the clothes these girls promote. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 18:28, 8 December 2015 (UTC)
"I strongly support equal rights for ridiculous hairstyles."

On a related note, I've just been reading through Donald Trump's personal life and he seems to have chatted up every upper-class woman on the planet. So exactly when did he make a pass at you, Lady Catherine, and speaking personally, I would love to know what witty put-down you used on him? Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 12:55, 11 December 2015 (UTC)

He has never intimated to me that he would like to have "relations"! For that, I am eternally grateful - no woman likes a man who sounds as though he had been over inhaling on the helium balloons. Anyway, what sort of person is called Trump? What is he proposing to trump exactly and what has he done to his hair? Totally ridiculous for a man of his age. Furthermore, I really don't agree with all this rubbish he says about Muslims; I know lots of Muslims and they all very nice people, with perfectly normal hair styles and voices - lots of them are doctors, which means they are very clever - which is more than can be said for Mr Trump. The American elections always seem to bring out the most curios people onto the streets. Perhaps I ought to write one of my election guides to give a little wise advice to that beleaguered race. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 14:04, 11 December 2015 (UTC)

What?[edit]

What? Amusing, perhaps, but why? Ks0stm (TCGE) 22:02, 14 December 2015 (UTC)

  • What? What sort of question is What? Has no one ever taught you to say "I beg your pardon"? The youth of today - one despairs, one really does. The answer to your so badly put question is why does anyone wish to join an exclusive and private members' club? Obviously, I wish to chat confidentially with those who are not quite my social equals in an harmonious and pleasant environment. I would lend the channel a certain cachet, which it doesn't quite have at the moment. There are also a lot of people here who I feel need blocking and banning, so I shall be able to persuade gullible Administrators to do this for me. Isn't that why everyone joins? I'm really very surprised you didn't know all this. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 22:13, 14 December 2015 (UTC)
  • Lady Catherine, the Insular Reform Club (IRC) has been male-only ever since it was founded on Pall Mall in 1786. I need to go back to my notes from the National Archives and Hansard that show the famous Women's Institute for Kinder Institutions - March Against New Indiscrimination Agreement (WIKI-MANIA) on 3 March 1919 that held a protest outside the club for 7 hours - sadly my British Newspaper Archive subscription seems to be limited to the Scrotum Argus and Gazzette whose front page on this date contains some sort of society dinner. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 09:36, 15 December 2015 (UTC)

Best wishes for the holidays... God Jul![edit]

Lippi, adorazione di annalena.jpg Season's Greetings
Wishing you a Happy Holiday Season, and all best wishes for the New Year! Hafspajen (talk) 11:53, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

Holiday? What on earth is a holiday? Do I look like the sort of person who would lounge on a beach covered in malodorous oily substances? If you are attempting to wish me the complements of the Yuletide season, then spit it out and say so! I wish you a very Happy Christmas! The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 18:29, 23 December 2015 (UTC)

My dear Hafspajen, surely you know the Good Lady is famous for her Boxing Day duties. Why, every year a great number of tradesmen are surprised to discover just what she's been packing! 'Tis the busiest time of year, as she services the poor both near at hand and far afield. (She is generous, they say, 'almost to a fault'.) HARDLY a holiday, indeed! Vesuvius Dogg (talk) 20:31, 23 December 2015 (UTC)
Ahem, ahem, uh, huh. What a klaver-tramp. Hafspajen (talk) 09:17, 29 December 2015 (UTC)

Best wishes for the Holy - days...[edit]

Feu d'artifice lors de la fête du lac d'Annecy 2005.jpg Yule-Season's Greetings
Wishing you a Happy eh Season, and all best wishes for the New Year! Hafspajen (talk) 09:17, 29 December 2015 (UTC)

Signpost Op-Ed[edit]

Dear Lady Catherine,
I was just curious about your opinion of Wikipedia:Wikipedia Signpost/2016-02-17/Op-ed. I think you have a unique perspective to offer an opinion on this discussion about gender disparity in subjects covered by Wikipedia editors and how this subject should be handled. All the best, Liz Read! Talk! 22:22, 19 February 2016 (UTC)

  • Thank you My Dear, I glanced at the page in question, but if I wanted to hear the language of a fishwife, I would go to the fish market - not a Wikipedia page, so I think I will leave the subject of gender disparity to those who obsess about it or feel they are some way affected by it. Some people seem to feel that bad language is something used by men to intimidate women, and even argue that fact here; but this is complete nonsense. Apart from when hitting one's thumb with a hammer, bad language is only ever pure attention seeking, and it's seldom useful or attractive. As with an attention seeking child, such conduct is best ignored. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 10:44, 20 February 2016 (UTC)
Well, I sincerely apologize for drawing your attention to such unseemly content, Lady Catherine. I won't do so in the future but I do appreciate you offering your always frank opinion. Liz Read! Talk! 13:12, 20 February 2016 (UTC)
(talk page stalker) Yes, as always you provide the cleverest way of slapping away an irritating request asked in a condescending manner Rosemary Cheese (talk) 13:34, 20 February 2016 (UTC)
I don't think you meant to link to the Condensation article which is a different thing altogether from condescending (I think Condescension would have been more appropriate). But perhaps English is not your native language. And if you want to say snarky things to me, log into your main account and say so on my talk page, not Lady Catherine's. Thanks. Liz Read! Talk! 14:39, 20 February 2016 (UTC)
The wiki-linking was intentionally carried out. Hot air et al as my Latin master used to tell us. — Gareth Griffith-Jones | The Welsh | Buzzard |  15:01, 20 February 2016 (UTC)
I can assure you that British English is my "native language". — Gareth Griffith-Jones | The Welsh | Buzzard |  15:09, 20 February 2016 (UTC)
Well British is my native language too, and I'm totally disinterested both condensation and condescension. All these Wikipedian ladies (and I use the term loosely) would fare far better if they kept a civil tongue in their heads. If silly women think they become a man's equal by impersonating a sergeant major in a second rate regiment, then they are sadly mistaken. Males and females are judged solely by their actions and behavior and I don't necessarily agree with one of my greatest late friends on the subject here either. Poor dear Nancy: she could have done so much more for womankind, were she less acerbic and man-hating. These Wikipedian women would do well to remember that. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 19:05, 21 February 2016 (UTC)

Where did the bonkbuster go?[edit]

What happened to "Catherine Bonkbuster"? I wanted to pick a page similar to Chuffer Dandridge's biography, wandered over here and discovered it had gone. Have you had problems with the boys from the Official secrets act again? I know they can be right annoying pests sometimes? Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 14:28, 3 March 2016 (UTC)

Ritchie333, are you perchance looking for this?--kelapstick(bainuu) 17:27, 3 March 2016 (UTC)
Oh how clever and observant you are Mr Kelapstick, but then you're Canadian and all Canadians are clever in my experience. Not always the most witty and amusing of races, but usually quite clever. How long ago it seems that a group of completely impartial and intellectual Wikipedians insisted that I had a Wiki-bio. Don't worry dearest Ritchie - I run the secret service and am not subject to it. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 07:21, 22 April 2016 (UTC)

Upholding moral values[edit]

Good afternoon - I saw you were despairing over the state of moral values in the country a few threads up, and I thought I might brighten your day with news that the "celebrated" Lady Victoria Hervey, sister of the Marquess of Bristol (and once owners of a favourite subject of your favourite nephew - Ickworth House) has been reliably documented as saying "It's so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day." And they said compassion was dead. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 13:17, 7 June 2016 (UTC)

Or (even better) to Japan, where they can eat sushi! EEng 13:26, 7 June 2016 (UTC)
While I am quite sure that Lady Victoria is well meaning, her remarks show her to have a lack of wisdom and basic common sense; no one alive (not even dear Mr Trump) has more compassion and empathy with the homeless than myself. However, to eat fish in a warm climate is a very foolish thing to do, and as for sushi: Well! one will only be contaminated with parasites and whatnot. Anyway, the last thing the homeless need is visits the Caribbean and Japan. I don't care for Japan: all those grinning people bowing all over the place, doing yoga and wearing peculiar hats when sight seeing en masse and cluttering up the pavements of London. As for Caribbeans, I've no idea at all what they look like, probably like Mexicans, and they are very odd too. With people like Lady Victoria around, it's a wonder the homeless aren't storming the gates of Buckingham Palace. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 20:43, 7 June 2016 (UTC)
Lady Victoria is just the latest in a long line of Herveys who are, frankly, all stark raving mad, and in some cases such as the 7th Marquess, quite tragic in the way he managed to flush money down the drain in a manner that would seriously impress the Wikimedia Foundation. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:59, 9 June 2016 (UTC)

The Ziadie family[edit]

The bolsheviks are up and rising again, Lady C - this one's been tagged {{db-corp}} twice! Well, some families like to run themselves as businesses, particularly those in western Sicily that seem to wear suits no matter how hot the weather, but if you and Auntie Bishonen could help sourcing some information about this wild bunch of eccentrics, I'm sure there will be a suitable reward at the other end. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:07, 15 July 2016 (UTC)

Formal notification[edit]

Dear Madame/Sir/Otherwise(delete as applicable),

As you may know the Wikimedia Foundation has concluded its program to expedite the essential activity of the WP:NPP and WP:AFC workflows. Using the techniques of genetic engineering(q.v.,discretionary sanctions), a clade of clones has been deployed and assessments of new articles are now made extremely rapidly and without error. The program was extended by allowing editing to the article on the gamergate controversy(q.v.,discretionary sanctions), and a considerable improvement has been visible to all. However, there were some slight indications that the clones did not possess neurological activity above the level of the medulla. An impartial[1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8] RFC was conducted to decide whether this constituted a very considerable benefit or a minor shortcoming and to confirm that clone editing should become ubiquitous. At the time of the first artificial break (16.7 microseconds) all 3057 opinions were for ubiquity. Subsequently the thrust of the discussion was less easy to discern with people calling each other rude names, not seeming to answer the question (or, indeed, any question), and claims of breach of WP:OR, WP:V, WP:COPYRIGHT and WP:AGF. A panel of three highly distinguished administrators (ex-arbitrators to a man) were enjoined to close the discussion. Their conclusion was "keep", modified after representations to an alternative "delete". A discussion to decide how this conclusion should be implemented was very rapidly closed with the unanimous decision that clone accounts would be keeped and all other accounts would be deleted.

Tests indicate that some edits from your account emanate at or above the level of the pons. Indeed there are suggestions of activity in the midbrain/hippocampus/hypothalamus(delete as applicable), although the involvement of the cerebral cortex has been ruled out. This message is to advise you that henceforward and heretofore your account will be deleted. Until this is actioned your edits will be reverted as applicable/as not applicable(delete “as applicable”). We wish you a prosperous/happy/fulfilled(delete as applicable) retirement.(q.v.,RIP) 21:32, 16 July 2016 (UTC)

Here We Come A-wassailing[edit]

Bishzilla blink santa.gif
Santa's little helpers.png

Merry Christmas! Better not open the box! The Bishonen Conglomerate talk 11:55, 23 December 2016 (UTC).

Calling Card[edit]

[Delivered by footman]

Ad Orientem

Administrator Reactionary Gentleman

Not necessarily in that order

I have the honour to be and remain your obedient servant & etc. -Ad Orientem (talk) 16:26, 15 July 2017 (UTC)

HA  ;) what about yesterday, Aristos! :D — Smelly peasant on the march! 16:42, 15 July 2017 (UTC)
For any Frenchman to celebrate the Revolution is akin to celebrating the day your mother contracted cholera. All of the great calamities of the modern world are the fruit of the Revolution. The two world wars. Social violence and class warfare. Communism and Nazism, the two most murderous ideologies in the history of the world are the bastard children of the French Revolution. The history of the French Revolution is written in blood and it is still being written. Gravilo Princip, Lenin, Mussolini, Franco, Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, any of the various Kims, Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, & etc. are the spiritual heirs of Robespierre. The true symbol of modern liberalism is not liberté, égalité, fraternité, it is the guillotine. See also Alexander Solzhenitsyn’s speech on the Vendee [3]. -Ad Orientem (talk) 17:53, 15 July 2017 (UTC)
Well OK :) I think you probably took the remark slightly too seriously. In any case, it's generally healthy to not make broad pronunciations on complex subjects. Take care, — fortunavelut luna 17:57, 15 July 2017 (UTC)
Apologies. Sometimes around here it's not easy to discern gentle humor or satire when the subject is politics.. -Ad Orientem (talk) 18:11, 15 July 2017 (UTC)
I agree with you on that. No, I was just being a bit of a Devil's avocado, I'm afraid ;) and seeing what Miss Whiplash the good Lady would say! Anyway, sorry for spoil your calling card! — fortunavelut luna 18:15, 15 July 2017 (UTC)
Good thing A.O. didn't make that post 48 hours ago. Trump might have plagiarized it for his Bastille Day speech. When he wasn't ogling Mrs. Macron's boobs, of course EEng 18:59, 15 July 2017 (UTC)
Ah. Zee Fallen Madonna Wiv Ze Big Boobies; eet eez a well-known piss  ;) — fortunavelut luna 19:07, 15 July 2017 (UTC)
Ah the Donald, another great republican. "On the field of battle his hat is worth 50,000 men. But it does not matter. He is not a gentleman." Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington on Napoleon Bonaparte. -Ad Orientem (talk) 19:25, 15 July 2017 (UTC)
I quite agree with that nice little Mr Ad Orientem. I don't approve of the French Revolution either, or any other revolution come to that. They are generally nothing more than the lower classes exhibiting an unfortunate lack of good manners and ingratitude. Just look at the wretched countries that have had them - what good has it done them? The Americans had one, threw all that good tea into Boston harbour, incited the Red Indians and Inuits and whatnot to riot and sent poor King George III quite mad, and what do the Americans have for all this trouble and mayhem? Mr Trump and that peculiar, great statue. If you ask me, they would be better off with dear Queen Elizabeth (a very close and personal friend of mine). With the exception of dear Signor Mussolini (to whom I was very close), I generally don't trust dictators because they all look so very odd and have funny hair - just look at Hitler and that strange youth in North Korea. Poor Lenin, of course, didn't have any hair, but I expect he looked odd when he did. We do live in a strange world. The Lady Catherine de Burgh (talk) 10:38, 29 July 2017 (UTC)