|This is a humorous essay.|
It contains comments by one or more Wikipedia contributors. It is not a Wikipedia policy or guideline, though it may contain advice. A potential measure of how the community views this essay may be gained by consulting the history and talk pages, and checking what links here.
|This page in a nutshell: Scientists have noted that unflattering mentions at ANI are associated with an increased incidence of sudden-onset debilitating illness.|
Everyone does things they shouldn't, now and then, and admins are no exception. If an admin deletes pages on obviously notable topics too often, or pulls a controversial block on a longstanding editor, an angry mob may gather with torches and pitchforks and open a thread on WP:ANI. How do you get out of that? The same way you do in real life - feign sickness.
Supposing you're an administrator who's done something really stupid, and the community is cross about it enough for you to be a subject of an ANI thread. What options have you got?
- Admit fault. Hang on, if you do that, you might be asked to resign your tools. Then you can't block anyone, and you'll have resigned "under a cloud" so you'll never get them back! Naah.
- Argue that everyone else is wrong. That sounds like an awful lot of effort, and time spent away from your block button. What fun's that?
- Accuse everyone of being a sockpuppet and get a checkuser to block them. The trouble is, these damn checkusers want diffs of all things. Who ever reads those?
Surely there's some other way of getting out of it. Well, why not simply call in sick? Nobody's ever going to question your actions if you're in poor health. So pull a sickie and watch for thread to close as "no action".
The symptoms of ANI flu are sudden, and affect an administrator's ability to reply to criticism, no matter how egregious the conduct complained of. The only known cure is to close the ANI thread in question, whereby the communication abilities are miraculously restored.
Be advised that if the community is really angry at you, an episode of ANI flu can be fatal.
Depending on context, accusing someone of ANI flu might be construed as a personal attack. You never know what's really going on with someone, so use this essay sparingly and in good faith (i.e. humorously).