Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Abu Musab al-Zarqawi/archive2

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Abu Musab al-Zarqawi[edit]

This article is rated A and I beleive the content in this article is good enough to be a FAC. Since his death, the article has stabilized and now I am submitting it for FAC. Mercenary2k 01:43, 23 October 2006 (UTC)

Support - Wiki-newbie 13:54, 23 October 2006 (UTC)

Comments

  • Sections "Alleged links to al-Qaeda" & "Alleged links to Saddam Hussein" seem like large blocks of text, can these be broken down into smaller sections or some of the images moved into them?
  • Done. Let me know if you are satisfied with these changes. Mercenary2k 10:56, 27 October 2006 (UTC)
  • "Other incidents" section is lacknig sources for all points.
  • Done. Got them all cited. Mercenary2k 10:56, 27 October 2006 (UTC)
  • Some sections contain citations in the center, is it because the sources doesnt cover all of the paragraph or is the citation in the wrong place?
  • Done. Fixed them all. Citations appear at the end of each sentence. Mercenary2k 10:56, 27 October 2006 (UTC)
  • The biography section contains red links toward the bottom, can the wiki links be removed or stubs created for these people?
  • Done. De-wikified some links. Mercenary2k 10:56, 27 October 2006 (UTC)
  • Some dates seem to be wikilinked and some not, this should be made uniform throughout the article.
  • Done. All dates are wikilinked. If I missed some please let me know. Mercenary2k 10:56, 27 October 2006 (UTC)
  • "Succession" section has no sources.
  • Done. Added sources. Mercenary2k 10:56, 27 October 2006 (UTC)
  • "Claims of death" section, May 24th note, paragraph contains no sources.
  • Done. Added sources. Mercenary2k 10:56, 27 October 2006 (UTC)
  • "Reports of Zarqawi's death, detention and injuries" -> "Missing leg" -> paragraph 2, Newsweek is italicized, this seems to be repeated once or twice but not consistently. This should be made uniform.
  • Done. All Magazines, Newspapers are italized. If I missed any let me know and I will change them. Mercenary2k 10:56, 27 October 2006 (UTC)
  • Many paragraphs made up of 1 or two sentences in the Biography section, can some of these be merged and written in a paragraph form.

I will give it a more detailed read over later. --NuclearZer0 20:53, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

  • Done. Fixed the biography Paragraphs and merged them into bigger paragraphs. Mercenary2k 10:56, 27 October 2006 (UTC)
  • Second paragraph in Biography has no citation.
  • Cause of death at end of biography has no citation.

Nice work on the other stuff Mercenary2k, you may want to just read through it and check to see if the ends of paragraphs are cited. --NuclearZer0 12:11, 27 October 2006 (UTC)

  • Done. Added 20 new citations throughout this article and made sure that each paragraph was cited. Let me know if you are satisfied with this. Mercenary2k 22:22, 27 October 2006 (UTC)

Support pending someone with editorial skills giving it a read over. Nice work again Mercenary2k --NuclearZer0 16:38, 28 October 2006 (UTC)

Comment Great article. There are a few points that I hesitate to correct myself; if anyone goes ahead and corrects them, I will support the nomination.

  • There are a few errors in the references causing the template name to appear, not exactly sure why this happens. For example, refs 8, 10, 12.
  • Done. Fixed these errors. There were also some references which repeated so I added a reference name and joined them together. Mercenary2k 23:31, 28 October 2006 (UTC)
  • There are far too many wikilinks: many links to irrelevant subjects and many articles which are linked more than once. I have removed some of these (Jordan for example was linked about 10 times) but there are many more. Please see WP:CONTEXT.
  • Done. You are right, there were a lot of repetition. I removed a lot of them. Mercenary2k 23:31, 28 October 2006 (UTC)
  • "According to the Bush administration, the training camp specialized in poisons and explosives." Is there a particular reason that this claim is attributed to the Bush administration at large?
  • Done. Changed the wording of this. Mercenary2k 23:31, 28 October 2006 (UTC)
  • "Zarqawi is believed to have had two wives...": This paragraph needs to be rewritten.
  • Done. The paragraph was written in a confusing manner. Re-wrote it. Mercenary2k 23:31, 28 October 2006 (UTC)
  • Not really. This paragraph is still weird. It says nothing about the first wife and the stuff about the second wife is pretty trivial. --Zvika 14:23, 3 November 2006 (UTC)

--Zvika 19:57, 28 October 2006 (UTC)

Critique - Concerns. These are my concerns:

  • Mainly prose issues. For instance, "Post U.S. Invasion of Iraq" is full of huuuge quotes. The same with "Alliance with al-Qaeda" and some other sections. I don't think that this is good for the article flow. There is almost no prose there! Just quotes! I don't think this is recommended for a FA. That is why I think that these sections need rewriting so that the quotes to be shrinked wherever needed or to be better incoroporated in the prose. Minor thng: I think that italics are not recommended in quotes.
Comment. I removed all the italics from the quotes. As for the quotes themselves, I don't think there is anything wrong with having them as they very nicely summarize parts of this article. If I had to remove the quotes, I will probably have to re-write the quotes with a citation on each sentence. So I think this avoids all this hassle. Mercenary2k 10:04, 3 November 2006 (UTC)
  • "Other incidents" is listy. It should be turned into proper prose.
  • Done. Re-wrote that section into a paragraph format. Mercenary2k 09:08, 3 November 2006 (UTC)
  • "Reportedly captured and released" is far too stubby. Merge or expand.
  • Done. Expanded the section. Mercenary2k 09:01, 3 November 2006 (UTC)
  • "See also" section should be trimmed. This two existing links should easily be linked inside the main prose. So, why do why need this section? To relink already linked things?
  • Done. Got rid of this section. Mercenary2k 08:52, 3 November 2006 (UTC)

And something else I want to point out: According to FAC "Before nominating an article, you may wish to receive feedback by listing it at Wikipedia:Peer review." Peer-reviews are not a prerequisite for FA status, but wouldn't it be better if the editors of the article had got some review-feedback before coming here? I think they lost a chance to have the article already much imroved before coming here. Thanks!--Yannismarou 21:07, 29 October 2006 (UTC)

Further comment. As fas as the italics are concerned I quote from MoS:

"There is normally no need to put quotations in italics unless the material would otherwise call for italics (emphasis, use of non-English words, etc.). Indicate whether using the italics in the original text or whether they were added later."

  • Done. I removed all italics from the quotes.

Until this issue and the other more important issues I've mentioned are settled, I obviously object. By the way something is wrong with this nomination: When I try to edit it through WP:FAC I go to an empty page! I can only edit it through Abu Musab article. Please, fix this problem that may discourage other reviewers to edit.--Yannismarou 08:48, 30 October 2006 (UTC)

  • Done. Fixed this problem. Mercenary2k 09:33, 3 November 2006 (UTC)
  • Turn to very weak object, because I still think that these successive long quotes in "Alleged links to al-Qaeda" interrupt the prose and in "Other incidents", instead of having this huuuge paragraph, we could have a nicer layout. But, of course, I admit that the article, in general, is well-written and well-citated.--Yannismarou 10:36, 3 November 2006 (UTC)
  • Semi-Done. I fixed up the Other incident section by dividing it up into parts and I am gonna work on the huge quotes to trim them down. Mercenary2k 11:37, 3 November 2006 (UTC) and I fixed up the long quotes section. Let me know if you are satisfied with this. Mercenary2k 13:00, 3 November 2006 (UTC)

Support Great Work! Flubeca 01:38, 3 November 2006 (UTC)

Sorry, but reading this article more closely, I have to object. The biography section is a lot better (although see my new comment). However, the Terrorist and guerrilla attacks section is suspiciously short. Surely there are many more incidents outside Iraq performed by this guy. Some of them (the Radisson Amman plot) is even mentioned in the biography. Also I bet there is some stuff from the Afghanistan period. I still think this article can make it to FA, but I agree with Yannismarou — it should first be sent to peer review. --Zvika 14:36, 3 November 2006 (UTC)

Comment: I'd like to some answer to Zvika's content remarks, before I decide if I'll change my vote to support.--Yannismarou 08:47, 9 November 2006 (UTC)

Done. I expanded his section about the wife and added more clarification. I expanded his terrorist attacks section by adding more terrorist attacks he was involved inside and outside of Iraq. I think all issues have been addressed. Mercenary2k 00:30, 12 November 2006 (UTC)