This article is about a unique open world musical video game which has been the subject of broad coverage. Most interestingly became one the main games in a debate on anti-games. Sam Walton (talk) 13:55, 25 May 2014 (UTC)
Please respond below my signature so as to leave the original review uninterrupted (see last FAC instructional bullet). Any questions below are rhetorical: I'm looking for clarification in the article, not an actual answer.
Genre isn't consistent between the lede, infobox, prose—try to keep one consistent throughout all three (at least for the purposes of classification since you can still add extra genres to the prose or wherever)
"which results in audio changes": to what? the soundtrack?
avoid comma verb-ing—it's happening often in the lede
I'm getting the impression that the anti-game part should be more prominent in the lede (and in the article overall), this was somewhat alluded to in the peer review or FAC (don't remember where I read it, probably the latter) where it isn't exactly clear what is happening and to whom and why it's important
"a pixel art style island": I know what pixel art is, but I don't know what this means
"different every time the game is played": should this be linked to procedural generation? would be worth clarifying this
"full of an assortment of different sounds": does this get any more specific?
"to the next season through winter, after which the game ends": ? needs more explanation
spell out RPG on first use and only specify acronyms if it'll be used later
"US$40": we typically don't include the prices unless there's a special reason for it
actually I removed it. Also "Artifact Edition" would not be italicized
"extra development notes": what is this
"Key apologised that this edition had still not shipped": so did it ever ship? finish the thought
"game's PC release,": why is this linked? isn't it the same as Windows? try to be consistent when using the same terms to refer to the same things
"though Key said that they never attempted": is they Sony or the devs? specify
"Proteus was a finalist for the Independent Games Festival's": when? add year
"the Museum of Modern Art's "Common Senses" exhibit.": same—when?
this isn't really pre-release post-release so I would lose the headings and make it one section
I'd swap the second and third ¶s of Reception
"drawing particular attention to the game's changing soundtrack": wet noodle sentence—tell me what he said that was important
"felt "deeply familiar" in subsequent": in what way? good or bad? put it in more context, at least?
"gave the game a mostly positive review": this sounds like OR to me—stick to what he said?
I think the anti-game part can be expanded
to elaborate on the anti-game: part of my understanding of this game's specific notability is the debate around the anti-game element, so I think it should have a little more space dedicated to that... but you know the sources better than I
consider using list-defined refs next time—I had to use Visual Editor so as to be able to copyedit
Some Game Developer mag refs you could use (PDF link): 2012 Sept p52 (on influence), 2013 May p59 (on what Kanaga is doing next) czar ♔ 14:54, 26 May 2014 (UTC)
Good work. Give me a ping when these are addressed and I'll respond and do a source review. I'm also looking for feedback on the Mischief Makers FAC, for those interested. czar ♔ 23:00, 25 May 2014 (UTC)
Unfortunately I've had different editors suggest different genres - I'm not sure which one to go with. I think open world exploration game is probably best so I'll make sure that's consistent. As for the anti-game thing, if you look at the sources they largely say "Some people said its not really a game, here's my or other people's opinion as to why it is or doesn't matter." That's ended up being reflected in that paragraph - one sentence saying it was debated and the rest the response. I'll see what I can do about it though... Sam Walton (talk) 22:11, 25 May 2014 (UTC)
Apologies for the delay, I've had exams and very little internet connection, I'll be going through and improving the aspects Czar flagged in the coming week. Sam Walton (talk) 17:43, 31 May 2014 (UTC)
Czar, I believe I have tackled most of your points, please let me know if I missed anything. I haven't changed the anti-game section for the reason above, but if someone feels they can do a better job of it they're free to do so. Sam Walton (talk) 19:58, 1 June 2014 (UTC)
Support per the previous FAC. Tezero (talk) 22:49, 2 June 2014 (UTC)
Sorry but having remained open a month with relatively few comments -- in fact none since 5 June -- this nom has stalled, so I'll be archiving it shortly. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 04:57, 28 June 2014 (UTC)