Wikipedia:No climbing the Reichstag dressed as Spider-Man
|This is a humorous essay.|
It contains comments by one or more Wikipedia contributors. It is not a Wikipedia policy or guideline, though it may contain advice. A potential measure of how the community views this humorous essay may be gained by consulting the history and talk pages, and checking what links here.
|This is a decree by the Supreme Cabal Regime of the English Wikipedia (SCREW). It expresses opinions and ideas that are absolutely and irrefutably true whether you like them or not. When editing this page, please ensure that your revision reflects the supreme wishes of the Supreme Cabal. If in doubt... well, don't press your luck.|
- One can only think they’re profoundly stupid – and these people are obviously not – or that they’re so enraged they’re incapable of thinking.
- Yelling won't get you what you want. You have to be smart to get what you want.
Sometimes even the coolest of editors become involved in content disputes. These may become heated, or degenerate into incivility and revert wars, and typically result in protection on the Wrong Version by a passing administrator. Where the issues are of paramount importance, editors may be tempted to climb the Reichstag building dressed as Spider-Man to promote their cause. This is strongly discouraged and will result in a definite block from editing Wikipedia.
- 1 Security advice and historical background
- 2 Intent
- 3 Review
- 4 Official corollaries
- 5 See also
- 6 Notes
- 7 References
Security advice and historical background
Look, the Reichstag already has been covered by Christo and Jeanne-Claude. It has been climbed as well, under rather dire circumstances, see Raising a Flag over the Reichstag. Even using the cellar entry has been tried and—compare Marinus van der Lubbe—such attempts have led to heads being lost. So if you still intend to climb the Reichstag again and again, dressed in a fancy uniform, and to have your photo taken up there, be careful to have the right support and adequate gear with you. And make sure that your audience understands the difference between a watch and a wrist compass.
This is intended to stop content disputes from escalating to the extent of scaling public buildings dressed as popular comic book characters. Note that climbing the Reichstag dressed as Spider-Man is an absolute limit – not an entitlement! Users scaling any public building dressed as any popular comic book character may be blocked for disrupting Wikipedia to make a really stupid point. Even threatening to do so is generally viewed as unacceptable. Wikilawyering about how high up the Reichstag you climbed (or about what qualifies as a "popular" comic book character) is right out.
Editors who believe that another user is on the verge of climbing the Reichstag building dressed as Spider-Man may place a request at the Administrators Noticeboard (Reichstag Climbing). Many administrators from the Rouge Admin Group will honour requests if asked (spammed on talk pages at least 7 times), and will enforce blocks if warranted – or unwarranted, we don't care too much actually. Maybe we'll just block people at random. That'll teach 'em!
It all boils down to this
Look, if you have been linked here from a talk page or a Wikipedia debate such as articles for deletion, it's probably an indication that someone thinks you are taking things a bit too seriously. Perhaps you should have a nice cup of tea and a sit down. It is pretty certain that all conflicts can be amicably resolved before the publication deadline. And if they can't be resolved before the deadline, let the deadline pass.
No jumping off the Reichstag dressed as Spider-Man
It's not a good idea to believe anyone who tells you that because you're dressed as Spider-Man, your superpowers will protect you from injury when you jump off the top of the Reichstag. Similarly, it's never a good idea for anyone to delete the main page simply because they believe a new software feature now prevents them from doing it. If you survive the fall, you will only end up in the village stocks. This is unfortunate, as the tomatoes thrown at you are very, very stinky.
This applies even if you are the genuine Spider-Man
Other superheroes and buildings also covered
This shall also apply to climbing an M25 gantry dressed as Batman or climbing George Washington dressed as Superman. Army crawling along the A1 road dressed in the outfit of The Stig is acceptable, no matter the time of day, nor the place of entry nor exit.
Also, as seen elsewhere, you are not allowed to climb the Washington Monument, not even if you are the real Spider-Man. You are, however, allowed to climb the Brooklyn Bridge or a clock tower dressed as Spider-Man if some psycho in a flying machine kidnaps your girlfriend... but it may not be a great idea.
- The Supreme Cabal hereby orders the reader to ignore the fact that the audio file to the right of this command is over 10 years out-of-date, and may well thus say the exact opposite to the rest of this article, as Wikipedia can never hope to succeed as a great new religion unless it has enough self-contradictions in its sacred scriptures to guarantee that it has texts to satisfy every taste. Fnord.
- Jaysus, remind me now, Staysha, wot waz dem protesting single dads called wot used to dress up as Batman and didn't dey flour-bomb dat Tony Blair fella in Britain's Reichstag? The Supreme Cabal has yet to rule on that particular content dispute.
- Alain Robert
- Publicity stunt
- Spider-Man (nickname) — more people nicknamed "Spider-Man"
- Wikipedia:Staying cool when the editing gets hot
- Wikipedia:No angry mastodons
- Wikipedia:Don't be a fanatic
- Wikipedia:Don't edit war over the colour of templates
- Wikipedia:Lamest edit wars
- Wikipedia:Advice for hotheads
- The above caption has been ruled by the Supreme Cabal to be both NPOV and in the best possible taste, as per the First Commandment – Thou shalt always be absurdly sycophantic towards Jimbo, and thou shalt pretend to be happy about it.