Wikipedia:Peer review

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Wikipedia's peer review process is a way to receive ideas and feedback from other editors about articles. An article may be nominated by any user, and will appear on the list of all peer reviews. Other users can comment on the review. Peer review may be used for potential good article nominations, potential featured article candidates, or an article of any "grade". Peer review is a useful place to centralise a review from other editors about an article, and may be associated with a WikiProject; and may also be a good place for new Wikipedians to receive feedback on how an article is looking.

Peer reviews are open to any feedback, and users requesting feedback may also request more specific feedback. Unlike formal nominations, editors and nominators may both edit articles during the discussion.

To request a review, or nominate an article for a review see the instructions page. Users are limited to requesting one review at any one time, and are encouraged to help reduce the backlog by commenting on other articles. Any user may comment on a review, and there is no requirement that any comments may be acted on.

A list of all current peer reviews, with reviewer's comments included, can be found here. For easier navigation, a list of peer reviews, without the reviews themselves included, can be found here. A chronological peer reviews list can be found here.



The 2nd Law[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I am planning on nominating this article to FA soon. This article was promoted to GA in July and before nominating it for FA, I want to know what problems exist on the page.

Thanks, Aria1561 (talk) 03:54, 24 September 2015 (UTC)

Did It Again (Kylie Minogue song)[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I believe this article is close to achieving a Feature article promotion. The article has been reviewed three times for a Good article banner, finally achieving it on the third try. I have submitted the article for a Feature article nomination but it has currently been viewed as an oppose than a support factor. I would like some assistance to improve the article from GA to FAC.

Thanks, CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 01:44, 20 September 2015 (UTC)

Arnold Bax

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Date added: 19 September 2015, 21:54 UTC
Last edit: 3 October 2015, 22:07 UTC

Guns N' Roses[edit]

Previous peer review

I've listed this article for peer review because lots of work has been done on the article and it has been significantly expanded in the past few months. I plan on eventually nominating the article for good article status and want to make sure it's up to par.

Thanks, RF23 (talk) 22:59, 17 September 2015 (UTC)

Comments by Retrohead
  • I'll lose the citations from the lead, as everything mentioned in the lead should be present in the article's body.
  • Can you somehow merge the "criticism" section with the one preceeding it?
  • Are G N' R Lies and "The Spaghetti Incident?" considered studio albums now? Some years ago they were described as an extended play and a covers album, respectively.
  • There's a formatting problem in ref 38.
  • The awards and nominations section should feature the awards they've won, similarly to Megadeth#Awards. Definitely the AMA and MTV awards.
GNR Lies and Spaghetti Incident are both considered studio albums. Guns N' Roses website refers to Chinese Democracy as their 6th studio album, Spaghetti Incident as the fifth, and Lies as the 2nd (while noting it was considered an EP at first). Regarding the ref formatting problem, there's a title in the ref and it isn't showing up correctly, no idea why.RF23 (talk) 18:42, 19 September 2015 (UTC)
Guns N' Roses website is mirroring Wikipedia's album articles. Lies wasn't necessarily recorded with the intention of being released as one album when Live Like a Suicide was finished. Actually, it compiles the acoustic tracks with the EP, and was recorded over the course of three years. The Spaghetti Incident? isn't a proper studio album because it doesn't fullfil the definition of what a studio album is: "A studio album is an album of audio recordings made up of tracks recorded in a recording studio. A studio album contains newly written and recorded or previously unreleased or remixed material, distinguishing itself from a compilation or reissue album of previously recorded material, or live recording made at a performance venue". You can avoid this problem by losing the "studio albums" heading from the discography section--Retrohead (talk) 20:08, 21 September 2015 (UTC)

Diamond Rio[edit]

Previous peer review

I've listed this article for peer review because it was one of my first GAs many years ago. I later had it delisted because I thought I could do a much better job. These guys were my favorite country band of the 90s, and I'd love to get it to GA.

The only things I can think of immediately are a better picture (can't currently find any) and a little more on their personal lives. Other than that, I'd like to gather more suggestions on improvement before I give this another shot at GA.

Thanks, Ten Pound Hammer(What did I screw up now?) 00:01, 6 September 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Richard3120: I'm not so sure the two things you mention are such a big deal – the picture isn't terrible and at least shows the band in action, and personal lives are probably the least important part of the article, especially if the partners aren't notable and we probably have to be aware of WP:BLP anyway. Reading through it there are various comments I would make if I were doing a GA review, regarding grammar and restructuring sentences and the usual, but two things cross my mind... should you have references for the birthdates of the band members, and should the section about 'Pitch issues' be included under 'Musical stylings'? I wonder if it might be better in the preceding section, before the paragraph about 'Outside contributions', as it seems to have more in common with their career than their influences and style. Richard3120 (talk) 23:51, 16 September 2015 (UTC)
  • @Richard3120: It might be possible to contact the band and ask if they'd be willing to submit a picture, as I was successful in doing this for The Kentucky Headhunters. I put a reference for the members' birthdays, and moved the "Pitch issues" section to the "One More Day" subheader to fit the chronology better. Ten Pound Hammer(What did I screw up now?) 01:21, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
Comments from 16912 Rhiannon: I spotted this at WikiProject Biography and took a quick peek. I agree with Richard, the picture is high quality and better than those in many band articles. One thing I noticed you don't have (yet) is a table of album / single releases showing their chart positions per WikiProject Discographies, which seems like it would be a nice addition. Hope this helps! 16912 Rhiannon (Talk · COI) 15:55, 25 September 2015 (UTC)
Ahhh, so sorry, I totally missed that link in the article. You're right, it would be really long to include in this article and is nicely done in the discography. 16912 Rhiannon (Talk · COI) 12:08, 28 September 2015 (UTC)

Misty Copeland

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Date added: 5 September 2015, 12:39 UTC
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Only Girl (In the World)

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Date added: 2 September 2015, 16:21 UTC
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I've listed this article for peer review because…article is on start class, and not checked for B class.

Thanks, Charles Turing (talk) 09:42, 28 August 2015 (UTC)

Comments from RO[edit]

  • The first sentence is too long and should end after "state of Kerala".
  • Per WP:LEADCITE, those citations ought to be in the body of the article, but not the lead.
  • The film is produced by
"The film was produced by"?
But this WP:FILMLEAD says lead should be in present tense. Charles Turing (talk) 17:27, 29 August 2015 (UTC)
  • Actress Mythili debuted as assistant director through the film
Drop "through the film".
  • commenced in Calicut on March 2015.
"commenced in Calicut in March 2015.", unless you give a specific date.
  • What is meant by "inside-outside story".
  • And source close to the production team
Should that "and" be "a"?
  • Some various issues with subject verb agreement in this section.
  • Later the project was also cancelled soon
Needs polishing.
  • the script didn't come well
I sense a language barrier here. Be sure to ask a native English speaker to copyedit this for grammar.
  • At the end of April 2015, reports came that Prithviraj being out of the project
Needs polishing
  • which shelved 10 days before production
"which was shelved 10 days before production"?
  • The filming was done in locations across Kozhikode, Kochi, Delhi and Dubai.[43]
It's odd to tack this on at the end, as it reads as a topic sentence that ought to come earlier in the section.
  • where Andrea, Ranjith and Mohanlal was seen
What is meant by "was seen"?
  • Mohanlal said Loham talks about a serious issue in Kerala and hinted that the story may seem impossible in real life, but then that is cinema for you.
This is too informal, particularly "but then that is cinema for you", which reads as an unattributed quote.
  • The film's music is composed by Sreevalsan J. Menon and all lyrics are written by
There are issues with tense here and elsewhere, as this should be: "The film's music was composed by Sreevalsan J. Menon and all lyrics were written by".
  • which undergone during July 2015
This nonrestrictive ought to be set off with commas, and more issues with tense ironed out.
Critical reception
  • Never begin a section with a one-sentence intro. Integrate into proper paragraphs.
  • Organize this section better. Right now it's just a list of unconnected points. Make one paragraph positive and another negative, then wrap up with a third of more neutral comments.
Box office
  • Some special screenings was arranged
"Some special screenings were arranged"

A valiant effort for sure, but I'm concerned about language barrier. The prose has decent bones, but it is littered with grammatical errors. Most of these are easy to fix, but the article needs a top to bottom copyedit by someone who can fix them before this goes to GAN. If you want some help just ask me at my talk, and I'll see what I can make time for, as it's a good article overall; it just needs lots of polishing. Keep up the great work! RO(talk) 16:04, 29 August 2015 (UTC)

Surprisingly the major contributors are from anonymous random IP addresses. So there is no one to ask for help other than the administrators. And that is a great effort you have taken to read the entire article. Thanks for that. It will be very helpful if you could polish the article when time allows or by recommending more peer reviewers to take a look at the page. Thank You for you great support. --Charles Turing (talk) 16:59, 29 August 2015 (UTC)

Impossible Princess

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By the Bluest of Seas

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Rod Steiger

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List of awards received by Lecrae

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LiSA (Japanese musician, born 1987)

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Thom Yorke[edit]

I've been picking away at this article for a while now. I think it's much improved since I started, but I don't think it's ready for a GA nomination and I'd like to get another pair of eyes on it to see what can be improved, particularly the "Musical approach" section. Thanks! Popcornduff (talk) 17:30, 20 July 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Calvin999
  • There are some dead links
  • For genres, instruments, assoc. acts, labels etc, you can use a hlist so it bullet points them and makes them clear. See "Man Down" info box for an example.
  • Associated acts generally are only included if there are three or more notable instances/songs/recordings/collaborations where Yorke has worked with someone. Not just once or twice.
  • best known as the singer and principal songwriter of the alternative rock band Radiohead. He is known → Repetition of known
  • is an English musician best known as the singer and principal songwriter of the alternative rock band Radiohead. → is an English musician. He is the lead singer and principal songwriter of the alternative rock band, Radiohead. (link alternative rock too)
  • He is known for his falsetto vocals. As a multi-instrumentalist, Yorke mainly plays guitar and piano, but also plays synthesiser, bass guitar and drums. → He is known for his use of falsetto, and is a multi-instrumentalist. While he predominantly plays guitar and piano, he also plays the synthesiser, bass guitar and the drums.
  • with schoolmates. → with his schoolmates.
  • After he finished his degree at the → After graduating from the
  • The 2000 Radiohead → Which album was this? First, second, third?
  • saw Yorke move → It's not just him if he is part of a band
  • In 2009, to perform the album live, he formed Atoms for Peace with musicians including Flea and longtime producer Nigel Godrich → This reads awkwardly, especially the second clause
  • the band released an original album, → So was their previous material covers and not original work?
  • he creates artwork for Radiohead's albums. → he creates the the bands album artworks.
  • Use of one line paragraphs/sentences should be kept to a bare minimum per criteria. There are a few instances of this, as well as two line paragraphs. I personally think it makes the article look messy and unfinished; a paragraph should ideally be 4 to 5 sentences.
  • Yorke has been critical of the music industry, → Why?
  • and with Radiohead and his solo work has pioneered alternative music → Should be a new sentence.
  • wear a patch over his eye. → You don't need to say "over his eye" because a patch already indicates that.
  • Yorke's family moved frequently. Yorke's → Repetition of Yorke successively.
  • after his son's birth; → after his birth;
  • Yorke was seven. Yorke moved → Repetition of Yorke close together again
  • The whole Early life section sys Yorke a lot to be honest. I know it's his name but you can use 'he', 'the singer' etc.
  • worked a few jobs → worked at various jobs
  • worldwide hit single → the article for Creep doesn't have any chart positions. What made it a hit exactly?
  • By the time of Radiohead's second album, → By the release of their second album
  • but Yorke was ambivalent about this success → Need context
  • Ref 1: The Guardian, not
  • Ref 5: link The Observer
  • Ref 11: link The New Yorker
  • Ref 18: Problem with the formatting, red link.
  • 26 and 27 are missing publishers and dates.
  • Same with 84
  • Ref 113 Don't WP:SHOUT
  • There's inconsistency with the date formatting throughout the references.

Hope this helps. I think it needs quite a lot of work. I don't think it would pass a GAN right now. Ping me if you need more help or have questions.  — Calvin999 15:50, 28 August 2015 (UTC)

Thanks so much. Yeah, I don't think it's ready for GA either - I've yet to really undertake that particular mission, but wanted some more feedback first. All your points are appreciated. Popcornduff (talk) 01:47, 29 August 2015 (UTC)

Beautiful Monsters Tour

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Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814[edit]

Previous peer review

I've listed this article for peer review because… I'd like to nominate this for Wikipedia:Featured article candidates and I'd like the most critical peer review possible to work it up to FAC presentation.

Thanks, The Bookkeeper (of the Occult) 23:56, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Calvin999

This has been waiting a few weeks without response, so here's some comments from what I found looking at the article.

  • Alphabetise the genres in the info box
  • Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814 is the fourth studio album by American recording artist Janet Jackson, released on September 19, 1989, by A&M Records. → Long winded. Try: Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814 is the fourth studio album by American recording artist Janet Jackson. It was released on September 19, 1989, by A&M Records.
  • Despite label executives desiring → Although label executives wanted
  • Collaborating with record producers → Collaborating with musical duo (since they are songwriters and producers)
  • for youth because → for youth groups because (I doubt she was a role model for all youth)
  • Notable for → Noted for (?)
  • Songs range → The songs range
  • appeal along multiple → appeal across multiple
  • sixfold → six-times
  • , among other publications "best of" album lists. → Unless you're going to give an example(s), I'd remove this.
  • It has been cited as an influence in various musical trends, inspiring numerous artists. → Such as?
  • It is only album → A word is missing here
  • For further promotion, → What was the previous promotion in order for this to be further?
  • She became regarded → To me, to reads a bit awkward
  • She became regarded as a fashion icon, with her "Rhythm Nation" attire being emulated by youth. → What attire?
  • producer Jimmy Jam later → Link Jimmy Jam.
  • Jimmy Jam stated → Jam stated (Use surname only following the first mention)
  • The Background section, I think, is too reliant on long quotations.
  • According to Jimmy Jam, → Same here, use Jam
  • Actually, make: According to Jimmy Jam, he, Terry Lewis and Jackson → Jam, Lewis and Jackson
  • Prior its recording, → Missing word
  • sixfold platinum → six-times platinum
  • The first two paragraphs of Release and commercial performance should remain as so. But the following paragraphs discussing the singles should be in their own section called Singles
  • You start Composition and production, Release and commercial performance and Critical reception with "The album"
  • Elizabeth the Queen Mother → Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother
  • Rhythm Nation World Tour 1990 is far too detailed. It should be one, perhaps two, paragraphs at the very most. There's no point having a Main article tag if this much info is being used.
  • In the Accolades section, you either have prose or a table, not both, as it's repeating the same thing.
  • The Organization column should be marked up for access (shaded grey) and I would rename it to Ceremony. I don't think magazine ranks should be included here, they aren't 'awards' as such.
  • Tables like this should also go at the bottom of an article, with the others.
  • All songs except interludes and "Black Cat" are co-produced by Janet Jackson. → A bit irrelevant.
  • United Kingdom Albums → UK Albums Chart
  • There doesn't seem to be many charts?

I'm actually going to buy this album now, I want to listen to it after reading this. Please ping me if you have any comments of questions. Hope this helps.  — Calvin999 15:48, 25 August 2015 (UTC)

Thank you for the notes. I hope to continue editing the article over the weekend. The Bookkeeper (of the Occult) 14:03, 28 August 2015 (UTC)
You're welcome. I actually bought this album yesterday.  — Calvin999 15:24, 28 August 2015 (UTC)

Circus Juventas

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Everyday life[edit]

2015 Vuelta a España[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I could use some help improving it towards featured standard. It has been through a GA review, which was helpful, but the reviewer (like me!) is a cycling fan. So it would be very useful to get some other perspectives to make sure it makes sense if you don't closely follow the sport. All advice and thoughts are very welcome – I'm generally quite quick to reply.

Thanks in advance, Relentlessly (talk) 11:46, 4 October 2015 (UTC)

Obsidian Entertainment

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Maximum break[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I think if is at a featured list level, but I would like some outside editor to give it a look before nominating it there.

Thanks, Nergaal (talk) 18:01, 17 September 2015 (UTC)

Hi Nergaal. I'm not a list expert (though I do have an FL to my credit!) but I'll do my best with this. One thing that is immediately obvious is the aesthetics: parts of the page are quite messy. This is particularly true when you have the small legend tables. I'm not convinced these are necessary: {{abbr|TV|Televised}} (giving TV) might well be enough.
  • First, the big thing, the links to videos. Most or all of these are copyright violations and, per WP:YT, should not be linked.
  • See MOS:DTT for table style. It's quite a tricky thing to get right, but you certainly need row headers and {{{1}}} and also {{{1}}} as documented in that page.
  • I find the green colour almost indistinguishable from the grey. Moreover, I question whether the break's being televised is enough to justify the change in colour. The note seems sufficient.
  • Your referencing in the main table is highly inconsistent. Some rows have the reference by the number, others by the venue, many not at all. I don't see what facts the references are supporting.
  • Many of the references seem quite outdated. Is there no up-to-date master list available somewhere?
  • The table sorting is wrong. It sorts by nation, then by name. I think you want to use {{flagathlete}}, e.g. {{flagathlete|{{sortname|Neil|Robertson|dab=snooker player}}|AUS}}. Or make nationality a separate column.
  • "Multiple maximum breaks in tournaments" This is a confusing title. "Tournaments with more than one maximum break" is more grammatical and clearer.
  • "Match-winning maximum breaks" I presume this is maximum breaks in the concluding frame of a match, but it sounds like the break in itself is match-winning. This needs clarifying and might need a footnote to make clear that matches normally don't go to the full distance.
I'm going out now, but I'll be back later on today and deal with the prose stuff and the bulleted lists lower down. Relentlessly (talk) 12:28, 4 October 2015 (UTC)

Belgium national football team[edit]

Previous peer review

I've listed this GA-rated article for peer review because I would like someone to screen it on text parts or sentences with a less encyclopaedic tone. Ultimately, I want to nominate this article for featured status. So, the main issue is identifying rather poorly written text, but suggestions on how to improve the text or other aspects of the article are also welcome.

Thanks, Kareldorado (talk) 20:03, 10 September 2015 (UTC)

Pinball Clemons[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I feel that the article is in good standing, and I want someone to look it over and have their say on how this article can be improved. (A small note, in Milt Stegall's article the Canadian HOF banner at the bottom of the infobox is bolded, yet here it is not. How do you correct that? Thanks, Aerospeed (Talk) 22:46, 1 September 2015 (UTC)

Harry Kane[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I want to promote it to FA.

Thanks, RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 08:03, 30 August 2015 (UTC)

Persona (series)[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because… I feel that it can be brought up to Featured Article standards, but I need some advice and tips from other editors on how to improve it before it is brought up for FA review. I am fully expecting faults in the grammar and such, but I would also like any other faults that are seen with the references or the usage of images to be pointed out so I may either address the problem or explain it in some way. --ProtoDrake (talk) 18:42, 22 August 2015 (UTC)

Thanks, ProtoDrake (talk) 18:42, 22 August 2015 (UTC)

Alright, seeing how this has been up for almost a month with no responses, I guess I'll take a look at this. Never done any reviews on Wikipedia, but since there's kind of a backlog of GAN, FAN, and Reviews for Video game articles, I guess I'll try and thin out as much as I can. I'll have some comments by tonight. Famous Hobo (talk) 21:49, 18 September 2015 (UTC)

Alright, here we go. First off, just a few nitpicks regarding the intro:

  • Other third-party companies such as Ghostlight and NIS America have published titles in Europe. - Maybe include this information as a footnote, kind of like what Grand Theft Auto V does for the developer section of it's infobox. While it is important, I don't think it necessarily needs its own sentence.
  • The series is a spin-off from the developer's Megami Tensei franchise. - Which developer? I'm assuming your'e talking about Atlus.
  • The first entry in the series, Revelations: Persona (released in Japan as Megami Ibunroku Persona), was released in 1996, and since then there have been seven further entries... - Replacing the and with a period sounds better.
  • The series began life as a spin-off... - Life isn't needed.
  • ...and combat utilizing Personas. - Does Personas need to be capitalized?
  • In the third paragraph, any mention of the word west should be capitalized.
  • ...beginning with Persona 2, the localizations have been notably faithful... - Which Persona 2?
  • Since the release of Persona,... - Persona should be changed to Revelations: Persona as it was already written as it's full name in the same paragraph.
  • Specific entries have earned both praise and controversy over their content and themes. - This caught my attention, as I wasn't aware that the series had received controversy. However, you might want to expand upon it a bit more, as simply citing the content and themes isn't enough. I skimmed through the article and saw that the series was controversial for stuff like Nazism and religious stuff. Maybe make a short mention of that.

Looking over my comments, it's pretty clear most were small nitpicks at best. Since I normally don't do peer reviews, some of my comments might sound useless and trivial. If that's the case, please say so.

The intro is very well written, and does a nice job of summarizing the whole article. If the main content is written like the intro, the I'm very excited to read the rest of the article, though I probably won't be able to get much done tonight in terms of comments, kind of want to work on getting this bad boy up for GAN. I'll have more comments tomorrow. Famous Hobo (talk) 06:19, 19 September 2015 (UTC)


  • For main titles, it looks kind of empty. There's no mention of the gameplay or plot for any of the games. I know the gameplay is mentioned later in common elements, but I like what Kingdom Hearts does for it's main titles, so maybe something like that.
  • while a spin-off featuring the casts of Persona 3 and 4, it is classed by Atlus as an official entry in the Persona canon. - Worded awkwardly.
  • ...a 3D dungeon crawler set within the environments of Persona. - Add a wikilink for Dungeon crawler, as most non gamers don't know what that is.

Sorry for not being able to do more, just got home a little bit ago, and I'm beat as hell. I really need to stop making unnecessary deadlines for myself. Anyway, looks great. I'm sure that after some small edits, this will be FA ready in no time. Famous Hobo (talk) 07:24, 20 September 2015 (UTC)

Killer Instinct Gold[edit]

I know that a page is nearly ready for FA when I've exhausted every possible avenue of sources. Although this article did not exist a few days ago, it is now (hands down) the most complete and authoritative resource for the game on the Internet. It has contemporaneous sources from the 90s and goes through to the Rare Replay reviews—only one major reviewer had something to say about it. It has some nice flourishes in the Dev section, and I think it's about done. Anyone have any advice on how it may be improved before I bring it to FAC? Thanks, – czar 09:58, 7 August 2015 (UTC)

Comments from JM

I think I played one of the Killer Instinct games, but I can't remember which one...

  • It might be worth thinking about the player/player character distinction- for example, "players fight on a 2D plane" is wrong; players control characters who fight on a 2D plane. I'm guessing that this is potentially something which will throw non-gamers
  • "Reviewers preferred the Gold Nintendo 64 port to its arcade version" Picky, but Gold didn't have an arcade version, if I understand correctly. Gold was the non-arcade version of Killer Instinct 2.
  • I think "face-off" is a noun- "face off" would be the verb
  • "Gold also features a new camera with automatically zoom functions to better frame the fight" This doesn't work
  • "Some voiceovers are missing from the Nintendo 64 release." As opposed to what?
  • "A departure from fighting games such as Street Fighter" Perhaps this should be "In a departure"?
  • "for 90s video games" This should probably be "for '90s video games" or "for 1990s video games".
  • "wrote that Gold was decent" Slightly odd
  • "(better than the other option, Mortal Kombat Trilogy" Specifically, the other option in the same genre
  • You know this, but I'm not keen on personification of publications- AllGame doesn't say things, writers for AllGame say them
  • "but one reviewer commented that Gold had few other positive features" One reviewer from Game Informer?
  • Is "extempore" a noun? I think you're using it as one.
  • Just a little thing, but in the lead you talk about reviewers wanting a "graphical update", but in the prose it just seems that reviewers wanted better graphics. Judging from the review scores in the box, I think you might be able to give a better impression that a lot of viewers were, overall, not particularly impressed.
  • Especially for FAC purposes, I would say that the generic rationale for the screenshot is not appropriate. Especially given the extensive discussion of the graphics, I do feel that the image is justified, but that doesn't mean that a good rationale isn't necessary.

This is all very picky- the article does strike me as very strong. Josh Milburn (talk) 18:30, 23 August 2015 (UTC)

Another quick thought- especially given that there's no real story to speak of and that other video game articles would have a story section, perhaps a list of characters would be a useful addition? I'm not certain about this. It does strike me as something that I'd personally be interested in seeing, especially if I knew other games in the series. Josh Milburn (talk) 18:54, 23 August 2015 (UTC)

Engineering and technology[edit]


I've listed this article for peer review because it's been majorly improved.

Thanks, MarkMillerITPro (talk) 18:24, 2 October 2015 (UTC)

Capon Lake Whipple Truss Bridge

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Kawasaki Heavy Industries C151[edit]

I finally had some time to have another go at article writing again. This article has been substantially rewritten with a view of hopefully making it the first electric multiple unit article to reach FA status (however impossible it seems these days). The closest standard I could base it on is OS MX3000 (a GA). - Mailer Diablo 08:11, 9 June 2015 (UTC)

Just off the top of my head: Two citation needed tags need fixing. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 12:56, 8 July 2015 (UTC)
  • Thanks. They have been newly added after the review was started. Will go through them slowly. - Mailer Diablo 13:59, 17 July 2015 (UTC)
  • Just fixed the cn tags. - Mailer Diablo 15:35, 17 July 2015 (UTC)

Comments from RO[edit]

  • is a type of train that is one of the four current types
This needs polishing.
  • four cars were purchased
By whom?
  • These trains were manufactured from 1986 to 1989 in batches by a Japanese consortium headed by Kawasaki Heavy Industries
How about, "The trains were manufactured in batches from 1986 to 1989, by a Japanese consortium headed by Kawasaki Heavy Industries"?
Tendering process
  • submitted bids for what they had nicknamed the "Big One".[
Drop "had"; no need for past perfect.
  • Competition for the contract was so fierce
"Fierce" is a bit loaded for encyclopedic writing.
  • However, analysts became concerned that a measuring
Avoid using "however" in formal writing.
Initial construction
  • during the 1984 National Exhibition held in November 1984 at World Trade Centre.[18]
No need to say 1984 twice.
  • The colour scheme of each adjacent car's interior is distinct to make car identification in cases of fault reporting easier for passengers
This confused me. What's fault reporting?
  • consume 50% less electricity
Should be "50 percent".
Second refurbishment
  • Why no cost estimate for the second refurbishment? It would be interesting to see if the move saved over the rolling stock.
Train Formation
  • Some of the details here appear to be uncited. Make sure everything is properly sourced.

It's a nice piece overall. Some sections, such as Operational details, are a little too technical, but maybe that can't be avoided. There are also parts that are a little dry with detail, but again, maybe that's the nature of this type of article. Seems pretty comprehensive, but it'd be interesting to know if they saved money by going the refurbishment route after those later repairs were made. Nicely done; keep up the great work! RO(talk) 20:46, 29 August 2015 (UTC)


Fullstack Academy[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because… It is a new article and needs to establish credibility (i.e. clearness of language, neutrality, accuracy of information). Thanks, DanFromCLE (talk) 14:59, 1 October 2015 (UTC)

Isabelle Eberhardt[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because i'd eventually like to nominate it for GA, but since i've been the only person working on it I think it could use some perspective from other editors first.

Thanks, Freikorp (talk) 00:51, 29 September 2015 (UTC)

Ridge Racer (video game)[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I've been working on getting this article up to GA standards and I'd like some feedback before I nominate it. It was C-class before I started and I have got it up to B class. I have since made further improvements and I think it's pretty close but there may still be one or two unreliable sources. Is there anything that needs further expansion? Any feedback is appreciated.

Thanks, Adam9007 (talk) 00:45, 28 September 2015 (UTC)

Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward[edit]

If there's one section I'd really appreciate comments on, it's the story section. The story for this game is incredibly complicated (it doesn't help when the game includes branching storylines that can be experienced in any order, and all branches include important info to the story as a whole). What we're really struggling with is the word limit. We're trying to bring the story section under 800 words, so any comments on how to reduce the size, and whether the section makes any sense, would be greatly appreciated. And of course, looking at the rest of the article would be nice too.

In terms of references, I tried to limit the amount of references to Siliconera and Destructoid since there both listed as situational sources (aside from the interviews of course, which are perfectly fine.)

Some points of note,

General: Every time Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors is mentioned, it's written as 999. This is a commonly accepted name for the game, and was used by Uchikoshi himself


1) In the second paragraph, there is extensive use of 2D and 3D. I tried to limit the times there mentioned, but given the context, there was only so much I could do

2) Each time the Q & A with Uchikoshi is referenced, we wrote the number of the question next to the ref, since we didn't know how to include it with the ref

Sequel: There is extensive use of Uchikoshi's Twitter handle, as most of his announcement regarding Zero Escape 3 were made over Twitter. I could try to replace these refs with more reliable refs, but I think it works fine for now

Thanks, Famous Hobo (talk) 03:14, 25 September 2015 (UTC)

Mullion School[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because although the school is relatively notable and has been in the news, I am struggling to improve it.

Thanks, samtar (msg) 17:39, 25 September 2015 (UTC)

Richard LaBrie[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because why not

Thanks, TheWarOfArt (talk) 02:38, 22 September 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Freikorp

  • I think that, considering how short the article is, having sub-sections is unnecessarily complicating things. You can definitely get rid of the 'Editor', 'Emmy nomination' and 'Director' sub-sections and merge these four sentences into one paragraph, unless the sub-sections are considerably expanded of course. Other than that the only thing this article really needs is a good expansion. Where and when was he born would be a good start. Freikorp (talk) 05:53, 26 September 2015 (UTC)

First Tennessee Park[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I believe it meets the criteria to become a Featured Article, but want some feedback first since it has been a few years since my last FA.

Thanks, NatureBoyMD (talk) 17:14, 14 September 2015 (UTC)

Susan Gerbic[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because… I want some feedback before I offer it for GA.

Thanks, Jerod Lycett (talk) 03:15, 3 September 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Freikorp

  • Typically the lead should be at least two paragraphs for GA. Also I think the information about where she was born, and possibly her education also, should be placed after the first sentence rather than at the end of the lead.
  • The lead should summarise information in the article, though information about her parents and when/where she was born is not mentioned outside of the lead (where she "grew up" is mentioned, but that's not the same). Information about her portrait studio and BA is also not mentioned outside the lead. I very much dislike the first section title 'Skepticism'; the article should open with a section title/informaiton along the lines of 'Early life'. Gerber was born in 1962 but by the fifth sentence of the article we're up to the year 2000?
  • Quote "It was very powerful when I started making edits." - You should give a time for this quote; what year was it made, and maybe also add where it was made.
  • Avoid contractions such as "aren't" as per MOS:N'T
  • Every paragraph should have at least one reference. The paragraph beginning with "Gerbic found it odd what friends said about her diagnosis" has none. The last sentence in the preceding paragraph ("I have breast cancer") should also have an inline citation
  • I think the sub-section on hats is, frankly, a bit silly. At best this should be merged with the cancer section. It doesn't need it's own sub-section.
  • Reconsider some uses the word "claim" as per WP:WORDS.

Hope this helps. Freikorp (talk) 14:36, 17 September 2015 (UTC)

Thanks, I'm going to start looking at this and see what I can improve. Jerod Lycett (talk) 05:18, 18 September 2015 (UTC)

Highland cattle[edit]

Previous peer review

I've listed this article for peer review because it failed at FAC and I was wondering how it would swing now? Any help is appreciated!

Thanks, TheMagikCow (talk) 11:36, 1 September 2015 (UTC)

Comment by Sagaciousphil

  • Just a quick drive-by comment: there are several sources that appear to be personal websites; these are not reliable sources so should not be used. SagaciousPhil - Chat 15:52, 10 September 2015 (UTC)
Fixed. Thanks for pointing this out! TheMagikCow (talk) 15:53, 11 September 2015 (UTC)
  • There are still several remaining. SagaciousPhil - Chat 16:00, 11 September 2015 (UTC)
  • Ahhh... Sorry my fault. Just refs 15 and 17? TheMagikCow (talk) 16:22, 11 September 2015 (UTC)
  • Should be fixed. TheMagikCow (talk) 16:32, 11 September 2015 (UTC)
  • There is still Willowbrook Park and ref # 4 is a blog. SagaciousPhil - Chat 16:36, 11 September 2015 (UTC)

Kemi Omololu-Olunloyo[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because… I feel there is too much self promotion on the article and an editor with a COI is continuously editing the article to white wash away any negative connotations of the sequence of events that transpired, most of my edits were relative when it came to discussion of controversies with the subject matter, there is currently an edit war transpiring and I would just like some neutral points of view to discuss where to go from here, wikicohen is referencing glowing articles about herself from a source, events transpired and the same source is being referenced for some material that doesn't paint the subject in a good light which wikicohen then "polishes up" the COI is continuously "rewording" and reverting large chunks of text. Something I wish to note the editor wikicohen appears to be logging out and editing the article and slandering me in the process which I sure is not exactly encouraged on wikipedia. thank you for your time in viewing my request.

Thanks, I/O (talk) 15:24, 28 August 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Freikorp

  • Just some neutral observations at the moment, I haven't looked into the edit war of conflicts of interest.
  • The lead is supposed to summarise the article. The lead says she is known as "Snitchlady", yet no explanation of this is given in the body.
  • "Background" isn't really an appropriate section. This should be changed to 'Early life', and the information about her deportation should be removed as this is covered later.
  • It needs to be clarified that the men she exposed on social media were soliciting sex specifically from her, rather than just in general. This area could be fleshed out a lot. What were the relations to her exposing them?
  • Why is she refereed to as "Ms. Olukemi Omololu-Olunloyo", "Olukemi (Kemi) Olunloyo" and "Kemi Olunloyo" in the final section? This is confusing as all hell. You should just refer to her by the same, consistent last name after the lead unless there is a specific reason why you are referring to her by so many names, in which case this should be clearly explained.

Hope this helps. Freikorp (talk) 06:21, 26 September 2015 (UTC)

Bank of Bird-in-Hand[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because why not

Thanks, TheWarOfArt (talk) 01:07, 26 August 2015 (UTC)

I don't think there's particularly much to review. Is this a serious request?  — Calvin999 19:43, 28 August 2015 (UTC)

Just a comment. Yes, there doesn't appear to be very much, but there are seven references used nine times, so it's a serious article. I don't live too far from it (1 hour) and would be interested in expanding it myself, so any advice on how to write a page for a bank would be useful. Jerod Lycett (talk) 18:55, 3 September 2015 (UTC)

Geography and places[edit]

Utica, New York[edit]

Previous peer review

I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to improve it for FAC at some point.

Thanks, Buffaboy talk 00:32, 11 September 2015 (UTC)

Blackburn Hamlet[edit]

Although I've been contributing a lot lately to Wikipedia, this is the first time I've majorly contributed to the prose of an article rather than just statistics and tables. I've referenced the hell out of it, added a few paragraphs and would really like to see how I did and possibly know if it's past its rating of start-class.

Thanks a bunch, Cepiolot (talk) 01:28, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Freikorp

  • Why is one usage of "lands" in the lead capitalised, yet the others are not?
  • One sentence paragraphs be avoided where possible. The sentence "Blackburn Hamlet took its name..." should probably just be merged with the end of the first paragraph. Likewise the one sentence paragraphs at both the beginning and end of the 'History' section should be merged or expanded if possible.
  • I'm not sure if it's commonplace to wikilink sub-ection titles such as "Early Childhood Education". Also i'm not convinced they need to be sub-sections; can't you just bold-heading them? In my opinion since each sub-section only contains a few words all this is accomplishing is making the infobox a lot bigger than it has to be. I should mention, however, that I don't have any experience working on articles for towns, so apologies if this style is the norm.

Overall I think you've done a really good job on this article; well done. I'm upgrading this to C-class. Freikorp (talk) 06:48, 26 September 2015 (UTC)


Assassination of Spencer Perceval

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Murder of Selena[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because…I would like to bring this article to featured article status. I have worked on this article for over a year and it since has been copy-edited by three different GOCE members.

Thanks, jona(talk) 21:27, 26 September 2015 (UTC)


  • Dead links
    Fixed jona(talk) 18:39, 28 September 2015 (UTC)
  • Don't use contractions outside of direct quotes
  • Who holds copyright to the engraving on the gravestone? Or the Selena memorial?
    Are saying that the engravings on the gravestone and the memorial must be attributed to its owner, and not the person who actually took the photos?
    Both. In the US, freedom of panorama does not cover sculptures, so we need to account for both the copyright of the photographer and the creator of the original work. Nikkimaria (talk) 19:53, 28 September 2015 (UTC)
    Yes check.svg Done. I have added Seaside Memorial Cemetery as the owner and original sculptures of the grave site and H.W. Tatum sculpted the statue and is owned by the Corpus Christi Convention & Visitors Bureau. Best, jona(talk) 12:57, 29 September 2015 (UTC)
    Okay, that's a good start, but what is the copyright status of the works? Nikkimaria (talk) 14:57, 29 September 2015 (UTC)
    Well since these are in the US and were erected in the mid and late 1990s, I guess they should be placed with a not-free-US-FOP template? jona(talk) 15:08, 29 September 2015 (UTC)
    (edit) There is currently a discussion about deleting the statue pictures. So should I just remove them here anyways? jona(talk) 15:13, 29 September 2015 (UTC)
    Your options are (a) find a reason why one or both of the statue and engraving are in the public domain or freely licensed; (b) move one or both to Wikipedia and claim fair use; or (c) remove the images. Nikkimaria (talk) 16:47, 29 September 2015 (UTC)
    They are not freely licensed and were taken by those who uploaded them, there is already a non-free image in the article, and I have removed the statue and grave site photos from the article. Is the prose up to standards btw? Thanks, jona(talk) 17:05, 29 September 2015 (UTC)
  • Did the fan club have a name?
    No, just the "Selena fan club". jona(talk) 18:39, 28 September 2015 (UTC)
  • Bullet caption needs a citation
    Yes check.svg Done jona(talk) 18:39, 28 September 2015 (UTC)
  • Fair-use rationale for screenshot could be more expansive
    Yes check.svg Done jona(talk) 18:39, 28 September 2015 (UTC)
  • Since Rossler massacre is currently a redlink, could we briefly summarize here?
  • Make sure your citations are consistently formatted. Nikkimaria (talk) 01:37, 28 September 2015 (UTC)
Thanks for your comments! I have successfully completed the issues you have pointed out, except for the quotations which I will work on as well as the Rossler massacre (since I never heard of this event), and re-format the citations. Thanks, jona(talk) 18:39, 28 September 2015 (UTC)


I've listed this article for peer review because it gained GA status in July and I would like to see it go to FAN in the near future. It is an article devoted to a folk custom found in the Southeastern English county of Kent, in which individuals dress up as a horse at Christmas time - if there are any editors interested in folkloristics then they may well find this very interesting! Recommendations for how to improve the prose would be particularly welcome.

Thanks, Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:26, 23 September 2015 (UTC)

American Civil War

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Indian National Army[edit]

Previous peer review

I've edited this article considerably aiming for FA status. Edited considerably in the last few months by myself to make it NPOV, consistent, referenced and addressed the issues in the last peer reivew. More input will be welcome hoping to get it to FA status.

Thanks, rueben_lys (talk · contribs) 11:18, 19 September 2015 (UTC)


  • Why so many citations in the lead? See WP:LEADCITE
  • Generally overlinked - some terms are linked more than once in a single section, never mind across sections
  • At FA level you will want to aim for consistency throughout in terms of formatting. For example, in the lead you've got South-East Asia and Southeast Asia - both are acceptable but pick one and stick to it
  • This is particularly true for citations, but those you will also want to be complete and correct. For example, footnote 127 needs a page number, while footnote 179 is a bare URL
  • You will also want to ensure you cite the best sources available
  • Suggest asking the Guild to take a look at the prose

Some work to do yet before it'll be FA-ready - you might consider running this through Military history A-class Review prior to FAC. Nikkimaria (talk) 22:10, 20 September 2015 (UTC)

Re: Thanks Nikkimaria.
  • The citations in the lead are in general overview links or for controversial aspects of the organisation.
  • Delinked on links and aimed for consistency. I have asked for guild rv. Ta

Thanks.rueben_lys (talk · contribs) 16:38, 21 September 2015 (UTC)

Comments from AustralianRupert: G'day, I only took a quick look (I looked mainly at referencing). Good work so far, I have the following suggestions:

  • there are quite a few "citation needed" tags that should be dealt with before tackling FA. I'd actually suggest trying for Good Article status first, though, and then maybe Milhist A-class review;
  • Agree with Nikki regarding the prose...there are quite a few areas that appear to be missing parts of speech;
  • this needs a reference: "In a bitter break, Bose resigned from the Congress presidency, founding his own faction, the Forward Bloc."
  • same as above for the paragraph ending with "...exhorting them to join in the fight for India's Independence." (equally the grammar and capitalization is wrong here)
  • same as above for the paragraph ending with "...which was to fight for independence of India from Britain."
  • same as above for: "Those charged after the first celebrated courts-martial only faced trial for torture and murder or abetment of murder."
  • same as above for the paragraph ending " Col. Shaukat Hayat Malik. Moirang was the first Indian territory captured by the INA"
  • same as above for: "The cry became Independent India's first commemorative post mark on 15 August 1947."
  • same as above for: "The Azad Hind Fauj Marg (Azad Hind Fauj Road) in New Delhi is named after the INA, and houses the Netaji Subhas Institute of Technology."
  • same as above for the paragraph ending with "The 1984 British TV series Jewel in the Crown, based on Scott's quartet, also includes the role of the INA as part of the political backdrop of the story, explicitly so especially in the 3rd episode of the series."
  • the harv errors script identifies several errors that probably should be rectified prior to a higher assessment/review;
  • Anyway, that's it from me at this stage. Good luck with taking the article further. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 12:45, 25 September 2015 (UTC)
Thanks Rupert, I have now edited the article as far as possible according to your review, awaiting a guild copyedit. If you have anymore comments that will be great.rueben_lys (talk · contribs) 14:54, 25 September 2015 (UTC)

Chief Secretary, Singapore

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Union Station (Erie, Pennsylvania)

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I've listed this article for peer review because I need some advice on how I can improve it so I can later nominate it to become a GA.

Thanks, HistoryofIran (talk) 00:14, 30 July 2015 (UTC)


  • Suggest making the lead more expansive
  • Do we know who his father was?
  • Generally, this is a bit hard to follow without background knowledge - suggest providing a bit more context for the reader
  • What is the source for the information about Jalula? Nikkimaria (talk) 13:09, 7 August 2015 (UTC)

Comments from RO[edit]

  • I agree with Nikkimaria. The lead needs expansion.
Family and early life
  • However, this is most likely wrong
Avoid using "however" in formal writing.
  • According to Pourshariati
For one, avoid using "according to" whenever possible, and two, casual readers might not know what this is referring to, so explain or link, or both.
  • he was part of the Parsig (Persian) faction which played a major role
"which" ought to be "that", since this reads as a restrictive clause.
  • Hormuzan owned his native place Mihragan-kadag
Is that a country or region?
  • but order was soon restored by a certain Ruzbi
Drop "a certain".
The Arab invasion of western Persia
  • The first sentence of this section needs a citation.
  • raising an army which included
"raising an army that included".
  • The Parsig faction under Piruz Khosrow, Bahman Jadhuyih and Hormuzan. The Pahlav (Parthian) faction under Rostam himself and Mihran Razi, and a Armenian contingent under Jalinus and Musel III Mamikonian.
This needs some polishing.
  • During the battle, the Sasanian army was defeated, and Shahriyar, along with Musel, Bahman, Jalinus and Rostam, were killed. The Arabs then besieged Ctesiphon.
Needs a cite.
  • The Sasanian army was once again defeated and Mihran Razi was killed. Hormuzan then again withdrew to Hormizd-Ardashir and this time chose to stay there in case the Arabs should invade his domains.
Also needs a cite.
  • began raiding in Iraq
Was it called Iraq at the time?
  • who had been making incursions Fars and Khuzestan
I get the sense that there's a missing "into" here.
  • However, he soon stopped paying tribute
Avoid "however" in formal writing.
  • under a certain Hurqus ibn Zuhayr al-Sa'di
Drop "a cerain", and be sure you aren't using more anmes then necessary, because it's getting really difficult to follow all these characters.
  • Meanwhile, Hormuzan fled
As with "however", "Meanwhile" is too informal.
  • he was once again defeated
Wow. Lots of defeats in a short time. Did he win any major battles?
  • Nevertheless, he managed to reach the city
Avoid "nevertheless"
  • The Arabs then laid siege to the city
For one, it needs a cite, and for two, it's confusing because why are the Arabs laying siege?
  • Fortunately for Hormuzan
This is editorializing/POV. Don't sympathize with Hormuzan.

This is a nice little piece overall, and it was enjoyable to read. My biggest issue is that it has lots of names, so it gets a little difficult to follow what's going on. I think this is what Nikkimaria was talking about above. I also got confused over the many losses, so see if you can rework some of this narrative to make that aspect easier to understand. For example, after reading it I'm unsure if Hormuzan ever won a battle. Nicely done; keep up the great work! RO(talk) 17:20, 28 August 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Midnightblueowl[edit]

  • The lede is definitely in need of expansion.
  • There are sentences which lack references; this definitely needs to be remedied.
  • No page number for Rawlinson?
  • There are prose problems; for instance "according some sources," should be "according to some sources".

I hope that these suggestions for improvement prove useful to you in advancing this interesting article. Best, Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:32, 23 September 2015 (UTC)

Guatemalan Revolution[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because it was listed as a good article a few months ago, and I want to take it further, if possible. Any suggestions are welcome, but particularly with respect to any content not currently in the article which should be included.

Thanks, Vanamonde93 (talk) 17:27, 26 July 2015 (UTC)

Comments from AustralianRupert: G'day, good work so far. Unfortunately, this isn't a topic I know much about, so I can really only make a few superficial comments. Anyway, I hope they help in some way: AustralianRupert (talk) 06:22, 28 August 2015 (UTC)

  • at five paragraphs, the lead is a little too long per WP:LEAD, which recommends no more than four paragaphs
  • in the References section, watch for consistency: sometimes your page ranges have "pp." and sometimes just "p.". For example, "pp. 222–225" v. "p. 73-76". Where there is just one page, "p." seems sufficient, but if it is a range, I'd suggest "pp."
  • I think it would make sense to adjust the headings of the "Notes and references" section and its subsections. For instance, it is titled "Notes and references", but its subsections are "References" and "Sources". As such, I'd probably just change it to two main headers called "Notes" (which would be for the short citations) and "References" (which would be for the full bibliographic details. That would conform with the example at WP:LAYOUT;
  • in the Sources section, the book titles should probably be presented with title case capitalization. E.g. "The blood of Guatemala: a history of race and nation" --> "The Blood of Guatemala: A History of Race and Nation";
  • in the Sources section, some of the works have places of publication and some don't (e.g. Chapman v. Grandin);
  • the duplicate linker checker tool identifies a few examples of overlink which should possibly be removed: Jorge Ubico, Jacobo Árbenz, United Fruit Company, Guatemalan Civil War, El Salvador, National Renovation Party, Manuel Estrada Cabrera, Great Depression, Caribbean Legion, Anastasio Somoza Garcia, Rafael Trujillo, Dominican Republic, Carlos Castillo Armas, Dwight Eisenhower, John Foster Dulles, Miguel Ydígoras Fuentes, Honduras, Puerto Barrios, and Greg Grandin.
  • Anyway, that's it from me. Thank you for your efforts so far, and good luck with taking the article further. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 06:22, 28 August 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Peacemaker67 (crack... thump) 06:43, 4 October 2015 (UTC)

  • Not very knowledgeable on Central America in general, so I'm going to look at technical issues that might hang the article up at Milhist A-Class Review.


  • the toolkit is down (apparently), so I'll try again later.
  • there is quite a lot of overlinking, even in the lead. Watch that you only link a term once in the lead and once again in the body. I've found it worthwhile to install User:Ucucha/duplinks on my common.js page so that I can check this automatically with one click. The link has the instructions.


  • suggest "the decade represented"
  • agree with AR, needs to be condensed to a max of four paras
  • worth pointing out that UFC was a United States business

Early 20th Century

  • the "Spanish invasion of Guatemala" jars quite a lot. Surely there was no polity called Guatemala when the Spanish conquered the region? Isn't this referring to the Spanish conquest of the Maya? This is a rather strange formulation IMHO, and even people with no in-depth knowledge of the history of the region will have an understanding that there were a set of what might best be called Mayan kingdoms existing in the region prior to the Spanish conquest.
  • the terminology seems a bit confusing. When you say Indian, do you mean Mayan or indigenous? Just look at being consistent as much as possible throughout, and explain any terminology changes as you go.
  • the transition to the use of bonded labourers in the plantations seems incompletely explained. Are the community lands now being referred to as plantations? If both slave and bonded labour was used before the late 19thC, then what changed regarding the use of bonded labour?

Dictatorship of Jorge Ubico

  • suggest dropping the "full name". He has been linked already, and anyone interested in his details can follow the bouncing ball.
  • "debt peonage" is unexplained
  • the whole vagrancy law thing needs to be looked for grammar
  • suggest "arrested all people of German descent in Guatemala"

Natural sciences and mathematics[edit]

Polio vaccine[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I would like feedback regarding the possible submission of this article for consideration of FA status.

Thanks, Barbara (WVS) (talk) 01:33, 26 September 2015 (UTC)

Hi Barbara (WVS), just a few thoughts for the moment:

  • I think the wording is too technical. Imagine a 7th or 10th grader reading this to get a first idea of what the vaccine is about. If you use a term like viremia, linking to the article is great, but also add a brief explanation in the sentence, that way the reader doesn’t have to stop reading and visit another article to understand. In some cases this is already done well, e.g. “using attenuated or weakened poliovirus.” Also you could replace words like immunocompetent with simpler synonyms.
  • I’m not clear on why the section “Inactivated vaccine” is not a subsection of types.
  • I think it would be a good idea to give a sentence or two about what polio is and how it infects the individual in or near the lead. e.g. in the inactivated section it says it “protects the motor neurons”, so it might be good for the reader to understand that the motor neurons are what gets attacked. This sentence is also a good opportunity to describe post-polio syndrome briefly.

Those are my comments for now, let me know what you think and I’ll come back with more later! delldot ∇. 23:48, 26 September 2015 (UTC)

Such excellent suggestions! I can't tell you how much I appreciate your opinion on this. It is so nice to have a fresh pair of eyes take a look at this. When you read something for so long...well you stop seeing the forest and the trees! If you would like to come and take another look in a week or so, that would be great. If not, that is also fine. You have turned me to the right direction. The Very Best of Regards,
Barbara (WVS) (talk) 00:33, 28 September 2015 (UTC)
You're very welcome! Ping me whenever you've had a chance to address these and I can give it another look. delldot ∇. 23:28, 28 September 2015 (UTC)
Second look
  • Let's work on expanding the lead. The idea is for it to be a standalone mini-article for anyone who wants just a brief overview of the whole article. So anything worth devoting a section to in the body will probably be worth a sentence or so in the lead. A couple things that pop to mind are the contamination concerns, the risk of iatrogenic infection, and an explanation of the different types. This is an introduction to the topic (experts don't need to read the encyclopedia!).
  • By the same token, anything mentioned in the lead should be covered in greater depth in the article, so the Syria thing should be addressed.
  • I think the History section needs some reworking. e.g. there's some repetition about Salk's work. e.g. in 1952-53 it mentions "Jonas Salk's polio vaccine (a dead-virus injectable vaccine) had reached the market" and then in the next section it says "The first effective polio vaccine was developed in 1952 by Jonas Salk at the University of Pittsburgh, but it would require years of testing", as though that's the first we're hearing about it. In my opinion those two sections should be merged, since they both mention Salk and they both mention 1953. Maybe just "1950s"?
  • These sentences are great, but belong far nearer the beginning of the article, not in the Hx section. Maybe even in the lead: "In generic sense, vaccination works by priming the immune system with an 'immunogen'. Stimulating immune response, via use of an infectious agent, is known as immunization. The development of immunity to polio efficiently blocks person-to-person transmission of wild poliovirus, thereby protecting both individual vaccine recipients and the wider community."
  • I think the Hx subsections should be renamed to decades. And maybe add a couple sentences so it doesn't skip from the 60s to 1987.
  • The source by Sorem is marked unreliable, and I agree. The best sources for medical articles are literature reviews from respected journals, and I bet the FAC crowd will hold you to that with a topic this important and well-known. If you can find a Cochrane review, that's pure gold.

Hope this is helpful, let me know when you've effected or rejected these suggestions! delldot ∇. 16:46, 30 September 2015 (UTC)

2014–15 North American winter[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because this is the first serious/somewhat successful attempt made to start a winter article for North America. There was a previous attempt made with the 2013–14 North American winter article, but it was created too late to garner many helpful edits. I would like to solicit comments on how the 2014–15 North American winter article can be improved, particularly the Records section and to a lesser extent, the Seasonal summary section. By providing suggestions on how to improve this article, I will be better prepared when creating articles for future winters. By the end of this review, I hope to improve this article to B-class in preparation for a possible GA nomination.

Thanks, Dustin (talk) 18:15, 20 September 2015 (UTC)

Language and literature[edit]

Ariwara no Narihira[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I have recently been putting it through a large-scale expansion process and am unsure where to go from here. I know my prose could use some tweaking and (at present -- they're already on my to-do list) the large number number of red links and inconsistent/excessive citation format are not pretty.

But I'm mainly looking for ways to further expand the article beyond its current scope, if anyone has any ideas?

Thanks, Hijiri 88 (やや) 04:38, 20 September 2015 (UTC)

Paulo Francis[edit]

Previous peer review

I've listed this article for peer review because I feel the necessity of adapting it to the usual standards of the English Wikipedia. The subject should be handleded in order to interest the general reader, excluding all that is far too "local". Remember, however, that issues such as the link between literature and politics in 1960s Brazil should be retained lest the particular historical context is lost (There were almost no non-political writers in 1960s Brazil). Thanks in advance

Thanks, Cerme (talk) 00:10, 15 September 2015 (UTC)

Jesus for President[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because Wugapodes, the good article reviewer for this article, recommended one to help tighten prose. I intend to submit this article for featured status, so any comments that would help prepare this article to be featured would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks, Neelix (talk) 12:00, 6 September 2015 (UTC)

X2 (film)

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Black American Sign Language

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Philosophy and religion[edit]


Previous peer review

I've listed this article for peer review because I want to nominate this article of GA level. Mahavira was the last tirthankara of Jainism and occupies significant place in jainism. I have tried to improve the article in last few days with help of other editors and upgrade the quality of article. An assessment will help further improve the article for the objective of GA level.

Thanks, -- Pankaj Jain Capankajsmilyo (talk · contribs · count) 11:05, 4 September 2015 (UTC)

There are some high-level problems with this article:

  • The lead section should be completely re-written.
    • The article begins with "Mahavira (599 BCE–527 BCE)". It should be clearly noted that this is the "traditional" dating and not the one believed by scholars to be true. In the source that is referenced, Shah clearly mentions that "Although tradition dictates that Mahavira was born about 599 bce, many scholars believe this date to be as much as 100 years early, in that Mahavira probably lived at about the same time as the Buddha, whose traditional birth date has also been reassessed."
    • Technical words like "tirthankara" and "avasparini" should either be clearly explained in the lead itself or not be used at all.
    • The lead should be clear on whether it is describing real historical figure "mahavira" or is it stating what the tradition believes him to be. It mixes mythology with historical facts.
    • Heinrich Zimmer is quoted in the lead. I am not sure whether it is a good idea to quote an author in the lead. Even if we are quoting something, I believe it should be a more recent scholarly work. Zimmer seems to be outdated.
  • Too many long quotes: The article's renunciation and legacy sections contain too many long quotes. This does not seem encyclopedic.
  • Important differences between digambara and svetambara sects regarding mahavira is not reflected in the article. For example, Swetambara believe that mahavira was transfered from the womb of devananda to trishala.

--Rahul (talk) 16:25, 7 September 2015 (UTC)

Simeon of Verkhoturye[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to hear your suggestions and comments. It would be interesting to know if the article is understandable for English readers, or is there something you would like to know?

Thanks, Orel787 (talk) 11:32, 24 July 2015 (UTC)

Comments from RO[edit]

  • (Russian: Симеон Верхотурский, born 1607, died 1642),
I think those commas ought to be semicolons.
  • The main feast day of St. Simeon is the 18 December (OS), or 31 December (NS).
That second article (the) is superfluous (not needed).
  • Legend has it that Simeon was born to a noble boyar family in the European part of Russia.
I might be wrong, but I'm not sure "Legend has it" is an encyclopedic turn of phrase.
  • (about 53 kilometers, or 33 miles, from Verkhoturye),
It's a good idea to put figures like this into the convert template, like this: {{convert|53|kilometers}}
  • You linked righteousness in the lead, so maybe do the same here at the first occurrence after the lead.
  • He died in Merkushino in 1642 and was buried in a graveyard by the church
Identify the church here.
  • Translation of the relics
  • The first paragraph in this section is uncited, so please source it properly. Same with the second half of the second paragraph in the section. Paragraphs should always end in a citation.
  • Legend has it
Maybe this is acceptable given the topic, but it seems to informal for an encyclopedia.
  • the church was burnt down by a fire
Since a fire is the only thing that can burn down a building, this is redundant.
  • The Brotherhood of the Righteous St. Simeon
It seems this is a monastery, but you don't make that explicit enough at the start.
It was a bratstvo, linked
  • The last paragraph of this section, and all others, should end with a citation.
  • Opening, withdrawal and return of the relics
  • The first, second, and last paragraphs of this section need citations.
  • "some hooligans of white guards, in spite of my order as archimandrite, took away my horses and left their nags, on which nobody could ride".
This quote is currently uncited.
  • on the feast day of St. Simeon with over fifteen thousand pilgrims gathering at the monastery
The proper verb form here is gathered, not gathering.
  • but the costly shrine was seized for the hungry
Dis the Soviets confiscate the shrine to feed the poor?
Of course not.
  • On 30 May 1929, the relics were seized from the monastery and given to a museum in Nizhny Tagil for anti-religious works.
What's an anti-religious museum/works? I'm not sure how this was used for anti-religious works. Please expand and explain.
I added a quote.

Not bad for a start, but it obviously needs a little TLC in the way of citations and copyediting. It's an interesting topic and the foundation of a fine contribution. Keep up the great work! RO(talk) 19:09, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

Thanks. I made most of the corrections, I will do the citing later. Regards.--Orel787 (talk) 09:44, 14 August 2015 (UTC)
  • Quick comment: It's very difficult to judge the reliability of the cited sources because of the lack of details in the citations. What are you citing? Are they peer reviewed journals, newspapers, personal websites of experts, random blogs? Fuller citations (citation templates can be very useful) would help with this issue. Josh Milburn (talk) 13:32, 29 August 2015 (UTC)

Social sciences and society[edit]

Bharat Ratna[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because this is a current GA. Being India's highest civilian award, it holds the utmost importance and thus I am planning to take it to FAC in the near future. Any constructive comments are appreciated. Thanks, - Vivvt (Talk) 18:08, 25 September 2015 (UTC)

Jevons paradox[edit]

Previous peer review

I'm planing on taking this article to FA status. Before listing it as a FA candidate, I'll appreciate it if someone could give it a look over and point to what should be improved.

Thanks, LK (talk) 08:01, 15 September 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Tim riley[edit]

This is not my sphere by any means, but the article was perfectly comprehensible even to me. The prose is clear and generally elegant. Some minor comments:

  • There was, I thought, one phrase with a slightly stilted textbook feel: "causing resource use to increase" could be, in everyday English, "causing more resources to be used." That's my only quibble on style.
  • You need to decide how to punctuate the abbreviation e.g. (or e.g, – both logically justifiable, but consistency is wanted).
  • There is a handful of duplicate links in the article. The Manual of Style bids us limit ourselves to one link to any article from the lead and another link to it from the main text. You have two links from the lead to demand and two to sustainability. In the main text there are duplicate links to green taxes and ecological economics.
  • "cost (or price) of a good or service" – can you really have a singular good in this sense? I consulted the OED but lost the will to live about five pages in and never found the relevant bit. I see the word crops up twice, and so I take it that it is a pukka term in economics.
  • References
    • As the Jevons book is a book, it would be as well to give its OCLC number in lieu of the ISBN for which it is too ancient to qualify. The OCLC is 464772008.
    • There is a guideline – how authoritative I know not – that would have us use the 13-digit forms of ISBNs. If you are minded to follow it, there is a handy tool here.
    • When you get to FA, some bright spark is highly likely to ask what the point is of your "Additional reading" list, saying that if the stuff is worth reading it should be used in the text. This is nonsense, but I suggest you have your counter-argument nicely honed and ready.

That's my lot. Please ping me when you take the article to FAC. – Tim riley talk 13:06, 15 September 2015 (UTC)

That's all very useful, thanks very much! I'll implement your suggestions and then submit to FAC. LK (talk) 06:39, 16 September 2015 (UTC)

Center for Indoor Air Research[edit]

I want to get feedback on how this article can be improved, as I am hoping to bring it up to GA status in the future. Everymorning (talk) 00:25, 25 August 2015 (UTC)

Comments from RO[edit]

  • Looks a little thin. Be sure it properly summarizes all the article's sections.
  • founded in March 1988 by Philip Morris, R.J. Reynolds, and Lorillard
Wikilink these companies.
  • This agreement required the tobacco industry to disband the CIAR
Why? This would be better if explained.
  • However, according to Alisa Tong and
Avoid using "however" in formal writing.
Stated mission
  • including the health effects of ETS
You haven't explained what ETS is in the article body.
  • However, in 1992
  • "special-reviewed" projects
Who conducted these "special-reviewed" projects?
Funding of scientific research
  • many scientists, although unwilling to accept funds directly from the tobacco industry, were willing to accept funds from the CIAR.
This implies that scientists didn't know who funded CIAR. Was that the case?
  • This study was based on the hypothesis that particles transported indoors from outdoor air, rather than ETS, were responsible for a significant proportion of indoor aerosol concentrations.
You need to make the connection between ETS and indoor aerosol concentrations explicit, as this is confusing. Do cigarettes really contain aerosols?
  • However, after some of his studies found that this exposure
Avoid "however" in formal writing.
  • authored by Johns Hopkins
Wikilink Johns Hopkins.
  • that some cases of lung cancer previously attributed to passive smoking might actually be caused by other factors, such as diet.
The lead says that CIAR funded research on indoor air pollution, but this says that also studied diet as a cause of illness. Add this to the lead to better summarize the content of the article.

This seems like a work in progress, as I assume there must be much more detail than what's currently presented here, particularly negative reaction to the studies. For example, you mention the Tobacco Master Settlement Agreement, but you don't detail it's direct impact or explain what it is in the article. In fact you mention it in the lead, but not the article, which is wrong. Every detail in the lead must also be in the article body, so if it's not explained in the article it should not be included in the lead. I think this is a ways off GAN, but I'd strongly recommend another peer review after you make another attempt at comprehensiveness, before taking it to GAN. Keep up the great work! RO(talk) 19:15, 28 August 2015 (UTC)

Norodom Sihanouk

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Murder of Ennis Cosby

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Norodom Ranariddh

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Elmer Ernest Southard

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List of National Democratic Alliance members[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I wish to nominate it for Featured list status but I feel that it might need some more work. It will be helpful if experienced editors can tell where this list needs to be improved upon.

Thanks, Bharatiya29 (talk) 14:23, 28 September 2015 (UTC)

The Living End discography[edit]

Previous peer review

I've listed this article for peer review because together with Shaidar cuebiyar, we intend to re-nominate the article as FLC. A peer review was undertaken in 2008 and in the last month Shaidar cuebiyar & I have undertaken a major re-write/re-format of the article to address the FL criteria. We would appreciate an independent set of eyes to review the article and identify any improvements before re-nominating it.

Thanks, Dan arndt (talk) 02:29, 22 September 2015 (UTC)

List of video games in the Museum of Modern Art

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WikiProject peer-reviews[edit]