Wikipedia:Peer review/Amanita gemmata/archive1
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I made many improvements in this and I believe it is well-written. I just wanted a proper review.
The article has a lot of good information and references, but there seem to be some places where it could be made more useful to the reader.
One is that the Toxicity section is confusing - it seems to assume, without saying so, that A gemmata would not be expected to be toxic and A pantherina would. Only two cases are cited, and saying that death is rare - only in severe cases - seems redundant and also odd if toxicity itself is rare. This part could use some expansion and clarification.
A second is that, especially for a potentially poisonous mushroom, the thing people most want to know is what characteristics or geographical distribution distinguish it from near relatives. You describe its characteristics, and what others it can be confused with, but not how to tell them apart. I sympathize with the fact that your references may not really address this important issue either! - Dcrjsr (talk) 16:57, 16 June 2012 (UTC)
- "hybridization" is a dab link.
- "Its cap is a more bright color than in the former and more yellow than that of the latter two" this reads a little clumsily for my liking. "Its cap is brighter in color than the former, and more yellow in color than the latter two" perhaps?
- "Yet today it is still " perhaps just "It is often confused with..."
- Don't think a link to Europe is strictly necessary.
- "that shows various symptoms of poisoning after eating" -> "that results in various symptoms of poisoning after consumption".
- Avoid squashing text between images and infoboxes etc.
- "large ribosomal subunit RNA " consider linking some of this for benefit of non-expert readers.
- "A close view of the spores." no period required as this is not a complete sentence.
- "29–55 x 30–70 µm" - use a multiplication sign rather than an x.
- "A. aprica, a species often confused with A. gemmata." again, no need for period.
- "Rod Tulloss " who he?
- "A. gemmata specimen from Commanster, Belgium." no period required.