Wikipedia:Peer review/Carabane/archive1

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Carabane[edit]

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to make sure that the article is of sufficiently high quality to submit as a featured article candidate. Any corrections or constructive criticism would be much appreciated, particularly with respect to word choice and phrasing.

Thanks, Neelix (talk) 13:16, 16 January 2009 (UTC)

  • Wonderful article! You shouldn't have any problems, you may require some minor citations here and there, but that is no big problem.

Here is some advice:

  • Eliminate all "redlinks" ex. Baïnouks (History: "First inhabitants").
  • In "Recent history" merge the last sentence into the paragraph or a paragraph. There shouldn't be any lone sentences. This also goes for any other lone sentence.
  • Make sure that every inline reference "source" has a recent "Retrieved date" (With the exception of cited books)

Looks good. Tony the Marine (talk) 20:31, 16 January 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Although this is an interesting article and clearly has had a lot of work put into it, I do not think this is ready for FAC yet. Here are some brief suggestions for improvement.

  • The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way- please see WP:LEAD
  • Units should be given in both metric and English units, since Carabane uses metric primarily, these units should be given first. {{convert}} is a very useful template for doing this.
  • References need to have more data given about the sources used, for example internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
  • Per WP:MOS#Images avoid sandwiching text between images
  • Per WP:PCR provide context to the reader. Two examples - many of the captions are so short as to be cryptic, such as the map with just "Gambian crossing points: Banjul and Farafenni" (since the map does not show Carabane, I am still puzzled by it) and the addition of the word "ferry" before MV Le Joola in the lead would make that much clearer.
  • Watch language that is POV, such as "This paradisiacal site, with its pleasant climate ..." and "With its undeniable natural and cultural assets, the island could gain such success in tourism as has been seen in Gorée, ..." just in the lead. See WP:PEACOCK
  • A model arricle is useful for ideas and examples to follow - there are many Geography FAs at Wikipedia:Featured_articles#Geography_and_places that should be good examples

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 14:40, 22 January 2009 (UTC)