Wikipedia:Peer review/Jack White (musician)/archive1
Jack White (musician)[edit]
The article is well documented, but doesn't read well, and needs some encyclopedic cleanup (like sentences that began with "Currently" or weasle words and phrases, like "It is generally considered...")--Esprit15d 18:10, 12 May 2006 (UTC)
Some suggestions:
- The lead is very short. See WP:LEAD. It should summarize the article.
- The article has several short paragraphs, some of which could be blended together.
- Certain sections are written as if the article is a fan page. Sections should be void of bias and rumors as much as possible.
- The photograph is too large and dominates the first part of the article.
-- Underneath-it-All 03:27, 14 May 2006 (UTC)
- You should change the pic to actually show his face. --Osbus 15:10, 14 May 2006 (UTC)