Wikipedia:Peer review/Jack White (musician)/archive1

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Jack White (musician)[edit]

The article is well documented, but doesn't read well, and needs some encyclopedic cleanup (like sentences that began with "Currently" or weasle words and phrases, like "It is generally considered...")--Esprit15d 18:10, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Some suggestions:

  • The lead is very short. See WP:LEAD. It should summarize the article.
  • The article has several short paragraphs, some of which could be blended together.
  • Certain sections are written as if the article is a fan page. Sections should be void of bias and rumors as much as possible.
  • The photograph is too large and dominates the first part of the article.

-- Underneath-it-All 03:27, 14 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

  • You should change the pic to actually show his face. --Osbus 15:10, 14 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]