Wikipedia:Peer review/List of World Heritage Sites in South Africa/archive1

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

List of World Heritage Sites in South Africa[edit]

Toolbox
(more info)

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I created this article at the beginning of June and would like some general feedback on what I can do to improve this article.

Thanks, User:DiscipleOfKnowledge (talk) 22:08, 18 June 2011 (UTC)

Review by ResMar 22:02, 26 June 2011 (UTC) An excellent article overall. A few things to say:

Lead
  • The lead needs to be extended. It should give a few sentences of information as to the scope of the sites; for instance, "since 1972 the organization has accepted X World Heritage Sites, 8 of which are in South Africa." You can then go on to describe the sites in South Africa in a general sense, for instance, "The sites include craters, fossil sites, former prisons, and communally-owned pastor land."
Key
  • What the different categories are is not made clear, only in the general sense of cultural vs. natural; what distinguishes Category I from Category II, for instance? This may be better done as a list, either in the lead or in the first section.
List
  • I've copyedited it lightly, my feeling are mixed on using "The" to start these sentences as the subject is properly introduced a few table cells over.
  • "It was the heart of the Mapungubwe Kingdom until the 14th century..." When was the Kingdom founded? Ae. "from x to the 14th century."
  • "Its scientific value is demonstrated by the presence of fire and radiation adaptivity..." This sentence is confusing. It's acceptably clear that by radiation adaptivity you mean radioactive resistance, but what do you mean by fire? That the area is prone to fires? Many places are prone to fire, so you need to be more clear in what the value of it is.
  • Period and UNESCO data sorting is broken. I know, it's very annoying, but a lot of times with numerical lists you have to use {{sort}} to properly sortkey the things.
Note: I'm not very good at following much of anything really, so the most reliable way to get further feedback from me is to contact me on my talk page. ResMar 22:16, 26 June 2011 (UTC)
The section on the Floral Region refers specifically to Fynbos, I think, which uses fire for seed dispersal as a reproductive strategy. I shall make that clearer. I did not expand the lead because I did not want to expand it for the sake of expanding it, but your suggestion is good. I shall do that soon. --User:DiscipleOfKnowledge (talk) 13:37, 27 June 2011 (UTC)
Just a heads up: I'm away for 2 weeks starting tomorrow. ResMar 02:36, 2 July 2011 (UTC)