Wikipedia:Peer review/Motorcycle/archive1

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With nearly 2,000 edits since first started this article really seems pretty well formed and ready for some additional input by other editors. As one of the foundation articles of the recently formed, but ever expanding, Motorcycling WikiProject this could do with some critical opinions to improve it to possible GA or FA status. TIA for the input. ww2censor 16:34, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Is the TOC not a bit imposing? Seegoon 18:02, 28 December 2006 (UTC)

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

  • Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Manual of Style (dates), months and days of the week generally should not be linked. Years, decades, and centuries can be linked if they provide context for the article.[?]
  • There may be an applicable infobox for this article. For example, see Template:Infobox Biography, Template:Infobox School, or Template:Infobox City.[?] (Note that there might not be an applicable infobox; remember that these suggestions are not generated manually)
  • Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (numbers), there should be a non-breaking space -   between a number and the unit of measurement. For example, instead of 50 km, use 50 km, which when you are editing the page, should look like: 50 km.[?]
  • Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), headings generally should not repeat the title of the article. For example, if the article was Ferdinand Magellan, instead of using the heading ==Magellan's journey==, use ==Journey==.[?]
  • Per WP:WIAFA, this article's table of contents (ToC) may be too long- consider shrinking it down by merging short sections or using a proper system of daughter pages as per Wikipedia:Summary style.[?]
  • There are a few occurrences of weasel words in this article- please observe WP:AWT. Certain phrases should specify exactly who supports, considers, believes, etc., such a view.
    • allege
    • might be weasel words, and should be provided with proper citations (if they already do, or are not weasel terms, please strike this comment).[?]
  • Please make the spelling of English words consistent with either American or British spelling, depending upon the subject of the article. Examples include: honour (B) (American: honor), aluminum (A) (British: aluminium), aluminium (B) (American: aluminum), meter (A) (British: metre), metre (B) (American: meter), fiber (A) (British: fibre), organize (A) (British: organise), ization (A) (British: isation), isation (B) (American: ization), traveled (A) (British: travelled), travelled (B) (American: traveled).
  • Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
    • Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “All pigs are pink, so we thought of a number of ways to turn them green.”

Avoid misplaced formality: “in order to/for” (-> to/for), “thereupon”, “notwithstanding”, etc.

  • As done in WP:FOOTNOTE, footnotes usually are located right after a punctuation mark (as recommended by the CMS, but not mandatory), such that there is no space in between. For example, the sun is larger than the moon [2]. is usually written as the sun is larger than the moon.[2][?]
  • Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?]

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, SenatorsTalk | Contribs 03:51, 9 January 2007 (UTC)

Complete Rewrite - initial proposal[edit]

Comments by User:Manning Bartlett copied here from the Motorcycle Talk page because it relates to this peer review.

OK, I saw the request for peer review, so here are my thoughts. This article is loaded with excellent content, but fails in its primary task of being the foundation of "all things motorcycle in the 'pedia".

From a knowledge framework, this article is a "parent" article. Motorcycle represents a subject that is multi-facted, and the authors of this article cannot safely presuppose the objectives of its readers. A reader may arrive here seeking to understand a) the socio-economic significance of 3rd world transport b) Hollywood treatment of the topic c) different valve configurations d) etc.

Hence the purpose of this article is to be sufficiently generic across the topic, while giving its readers an easy path to the specific knowledge they seek. As I read this article (Jan 9 07), I find it confusing and lacking a sensible structure. It tries to be comprehensive in some areas, is clearly inadequate in others, and intimidates the reader, rather than exciting them with the prospect of new knowledge discoveries.

I feel a complete rewrite is in order, but this rewrite should be coordinated and follow a pre-determined Heading/Subheading structure (which I think should be discussed thoroughly here before embarking on it). A need for various subarticles will emerge, but before diving off and creating them all, consensus should be obtained.

So here are some basic questions: 1 - Why would a reader surf into this article? Try to identify as many candidate reasons and then generalise them. (Eg - motorcycles in movies, custom chopper building, Paris Dakar racing, internal combustion engines, 3rd world transport, luxury lifestyle symbols, bikie gang violence, military history, vintage marques, etc, etc).

2 - Presume (for the sake of the exercise) that this article consists of nothing more than links to external articles (headings and sub-headings). How should it be laid out?

If the above two steps are completed to exeryone's satisfaction, then the content of the article will become largely self guiding. As I said, all of the text I read was high quality, it is the structure which makes this parent article hard to digest. Regards Manning 01:51, 9 January 2007 (UTC)