Wikipedia:Peer review/Mr. Stain/archive1
I've listed this article for peer review because…
new info has been added to it and it has changed from its previous version
any suggestions for improving this article will be more than appreciated Thanks,
- Although this article looks significantly better than the old version at first glance, it still feels very much like a stub to me. Here are some suggestions for possible expansion:
- The article seems to be almost entirely slanted towards the American version of it. You should give more information on the Japanese version other than just the little in the info-box (i.e. what company makes it, etc.).
- An entire section could be made on production. What made Ryuji Masuda create the series? Why did he create it the way he did? How is it produced?
- Expand the music section. Tell more about the music, who composed it, how it is recorded (i.e. digital, orchestra, individual musicians, etc.).
- What was the critical reception of the series? Has there been any noteworthy praise, criticism, etc. of the series? Did someone notable love it or hate it?
- Did the series air on TV or was it a web series originally? What channel did it air on in Japan? In America? What were the ratings like in both countries? Is it significant for any reason in any other country?
- You quote a lot of the information from the special features of the DVDs. Can you incorporate this information into expanding other sections instead of putting it into the DVD section? Maybe just list all the special features in one list. In general, the DVD section should usually be very simple and straightforward.
- I corrected some style issues myself but your references are cited wrong. See WP:REF for information on how to cite your sources within the article. Remember, in general, anything that I wouldn't know about the series just through common knowledge, since I haven't seen it, should be cited within the article.
- Also remember your consistency in number usage. In general, numbers under one hundred should be written out (e.g. one instead of 1). I corrected some of these I saw within the article.
- I hope this helps. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. -- Redfarmer (talk) 21:45, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Ruhrfisch ><>°° 02:46, 5 January 2008 (UTC)
The above reviews are for the older version of Mr. Stain, links are
Redfarmer's review for :this
Ruhrfisch's review for :this
The current version is the revised version of Mr. Stain.
Non automated comments from Ruhrfisch
- Reference tags should have a space after them. I fixed those int he two lead paragraphs, but the rest need this too.
- Dates need to be wikilinked, fixed the first two.
- I don't understand this: "The CGI was produced by FUNimation Entertainment and broadcasted in Japan by Kids Station, beginning January 6, 2003, on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday at 12 p.m. (JST). The show also premiered between 10:50 p.m. and 23:30 p.m.(JST) on December 31, 2002." I would list the premier first, then the usual air times. Also 10:50 p.m. makes sense, but 23:30 pm does not - either "between 10:50 and 11:30 p.m." or "between 22:50 and 23:30". I think most casual readers would understand the p.m. version better.
- You might want to find a featured article or good article on an animated series and use it as a model for the article.
- The characters table refers to episode number, but the list of episodes does so by title and "Volume" number. The table of characters seems a bit much - could there just be a list of major characters and then the details on the minor ones could be in the episode summaries?
- Instead of al ist of characters, how about a paragraph or two describing them? Start with Mr. Stain, then talk about the characters who appear in the most episodes (volumes) (the cats?). Then maybe move on to characters by type - robots together, or love interests, or birds?
In the lead paragraphs it says "There is no dialogue, just music and sound effects, similar to the old Looney Tunes cartoons." I did not know there were Looney Tunes without dialogue. My question is, if there is no dialogue, how do we know the characters' names?
In the Characters section, can you give examples of how the names suggest their fates or roles? In the list it mentions the fish named "Eaten" - any others? Also why is Mr. Stain called that? What does Palvan mean and are there any differences between the Japanese and English names in meaning (if you translated the Japanese names into English, would they all be the same)? You might want to mention here that Mr. Stain is the only character who appears in all episodes, Palvan next, etc. Some characters roles are more obvious than others - Lost kitten needs no explanation, but who is Stephanie? Is Handsome Stain real? Would "abandoned" be a better description of the baby than "deserted"?
Done the cast names only appear in english, I added this in the lead.
- "Also why is Mr. Stain called that? What does Palvan mean?"
Storyline - no references in any of the four paragraphs (plus none in the last pragraph of Characters). Pehaps a quote or two about the story from a reviewer could be used here?
Episodes - these are mostly fairl well written