Wikipedia:Peer review/Pontiac's Rebellion/archive1

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Pontiac's Rebellion[edit]

Pontiac's Rebellion is a carefully crafted article on an important incident in British/Native American relations. Primary editor Kevin Myers has done a superlative job in comparing sources and documenting material. Notes and references are particularly well done. A well known attempt to infect native peoples with smallpox is well handled, incorporating comments from a number of other editors. I hope to nominate this as a feature article in the near future and would welcome all comments. WBardwin 06:12, 1 December 2005 (UTC)

  • Wonderful article. Should soon be featured. Some comments of mine -- some of them are because I consider that an FA should be a kind of self contained for the non expert -- I hope they shall help.
    • Please write after the reference to French and Indian War its start and end dates.
    • Precise in the lead the exact start and end dates (mention at least the months): A war from 1763-1764 may have lasted from 1 to 24 months.
    • Please write after the reference to Seven Years' War a very short summary of it (I mean who vs. who or the start/en dates, where, etc...)
    • Why are "sawed-off muskets" mentioned why not simply "muskets"? If this detail is important, why? If not skip it.
Vb 14:46, 1 December 2005 (UTC)
  • An excellent article! I only have a few items that bothered me.
    • I realize that there were a number of tribes involved in this war, but there is no comprehensive list anywhere in the article. At least mention the major tribes involved in the intro and the infobox should probably contain a complete list.
    • The line in the into "The war was extremely brutal..." reeks of POV to me.
    • Is it appropriate to compare the brutality of the war to modern day war crimes? Again, it seems very POV.

Overall, this article is excellent and, with these changes, I would happily support it on FAC. *Exeunt* Ganymead | Dialogue? 16:54, 1 December 2005 (UTC)

  • Excellent well researched and well-written piece of work, typical of what I've seen from Kevin Myers. A couple of points from a Canadian POV. In the lead, the Seven Years' War should be added in parantheses after French and Indian War, as there were numerous French and Indian Wars. The 'French & Indian War name is as much US POV, as much as the American War is Vietnamese POV. In the aftermath, the impact of the Royal Proclamation of 1763 to Canada should be mentioned. It is still an important constitutional document for Canada that serves as the basis for relations between First Nations and the Canadian goverment to this day. Also, it should be made clear that the colonists resentsenting the proclamation were from the British colonies that later became the US, not from the (French) Canadian colonists. Luigizanasi 05:43, 2 December 2005 (UTC)
  • Additional comment, the paragraph small forts taken should be put into prose. A bulletted list is not a good style. Vb 09:50, 2 December 2005 (UTC)
  • Very well-written article. A few specific comments:
    • A campaignbox would be very helpful.
    • The "Origins of Pontiac's War" box seems rather badly worded. Was "Gift giving" really a cause of the war (as opposed to a lack of it)?
    • The comparison to war crimes, unless it's being directly cited as the consensus historical view, should probably go; this sort of thing was all too common during this period (and compare to the Thirty Years' War, or event the Nine Years War—a few thousand dead are almost insignificant).
Other than those points, it looks to be a great article. Kirill Lokshin 19:04, 3 December 2005 (UTC)

Thanks everyone for your kind words and suggestions. A number of edits have been made in response to your comments; others are forthcoming. Your continued input here or on the article's talk page is encouraged. --Kevin Myers | (complaint dept.) 15:51, 7 December 2005 (UTC)